Rose knew she had gone too far in her blind anger. She had forgotten how prone to self-loathing he was, how much of the angry broken man she had first met had survived hidden behind smiles and pinstripes. In tweed and a bowtie now, too.
She had never felt lower, and she'd already killed him twice.
She bit her lip in contrition and couldn't help reaching out a hand to offer comfort before snatching it away. She had already overstepped so many boundaries trying to protect herself that she wouldn't risk crossing more. And she couldn't bear it if he pushed her away as he rightfully should. Instead, she shoved her hands roughly into her pockets and turned away abruptly.
"You're not a monster and when you've done terrible things, it was because it was the only way to stop something worse. You're a good man." Her tone brooked no room for argument. "The best one that I've ever known."
She started to pace, trying to work off restless energy born out of a frustration with herself and with the universe in general. "You know I don't hate you. I hate..." She paused, feeling tears gathering in her eyes. "I hate that you kept pushing and pushing and it's turned into this mess. I hate that what we are can't last forever; that it didn't end just the once but over and over again." She slumped down against a wall, feeling utterly exhausted.
She closed her eyes, remembering just how dark and terribly still the TARDIS console room had been. She had decided when she and the timeship had decided on that madcap plan to alter reality that everything about that timeline would die with her, even the mere memory of its existence. She wouldn't go back on that vow, but perhaps she could explain herself a little.
Rose addressed the ceiling, unable to face him, her voice cracking. "Did you ever consider that I don't want you to know what happened because I'm ashamed of myself? Because I know you wouldn't be proud of me or care after what I've done? Because you'll find some way to blame yourself for it because you always do?" She dug the heel of her hand into her chest as if it could ease the ache there. "Because it hurts just as much to remember as it did to live through and I wanted to save you the pain."