nicole watkins (will2succeed) wrote in onceuponadream, @ 2011-07-15 14:51:00 |
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Gray wasn't a happy camper. It felt like weeks since he'd really had any significant time with Nicole. It felt like all her time was being spent with that Tyler guy she went to visit in Chicago and had come home with her. He didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit, but if he said anything about it he'd be a hypocrite. He hadn't exactly been overly willing to spend that much time with her when he had the opportunity, but he'd done that on purpose. Gray hadn't wanted to get attached to her and then fuck it up and cheat on her... like he'd done with all the other girls he'd dated. She deserved better then that. They hadn't really discussed his flowers, the cards, any of it... Until tonight. He needed to hear something... know something about what she was thinking and wanting. It was the usual night that she brought him dinner, but it wasn't going to be usual. Gray had showered and dressed really nicely in a pair of black dress pants and a button down shirt. His hair was slicked back and he was smelling delicious. The table was set with a table cloth, candles, and a flower centerpiece. He was going to make her stay, even for a little while, and talk to him. He had wine in the freezer to chill. Music was playing in the background. He needed for her to see that he was serious. When she finally knocked on the door, he answered with a smile. "Hello, beautiful. I've missed you." Gray had every reason to feel as though Nic was spending all of her free time with Tyler. They'd been inseparable during the last month. It wasn't because she'd made some sort of choice, though. In fact, she'd been avoiding anything that required her to do that. She was spending her free time with Tyler because he was her guest. She couldn't ditch him to go on a date with someone else. That would be rude. Not to mention, she didn't want to ditch him. They always had a lot of fun when they were together. As horrible as it sounded, she hadn't put any effort into finding the time to discuss the flowers Gray had sent her when she'd been out of town. She could say without a shadow of a doubt that she didn't want to have that conversation. At the same time, though, she knew that she couldn't avoid it forever. Eventually, they would have to address the fact that he'd developed feelings for her. She could only hope that he would be understanding when she explained that she wasn't ready for a relationship. That was the decision she'd come to, after all. If he couldn't be supportive of that... she didn't know... it would make him a hypocrite because she'd been supportive when he'd fed her a similar line. There was a feeling of dread sitting in the pit of her stomach when she knocked on his door, but she hid it with a bright greeting. "Hey," she answered cheerfully. As she spoke, her gaze moved over his frame. He looked good... very good... better than good. She wondered briefly if he had a date, but she quickly decided that she didn't care. They weren't together. They'd never been together. It didn't matter. "Your dinner has arrived," she informed him with a bright smile. Stepping back, out of the way, Gray made room for Nic to come into his apartment. Even in her uniform, she looked incredible. To say that he was falling for her, was incorrect. He had fallen for her. It had just taken him longer to realize it. As she stepped through the door, he pulled her close to him and kissed the side of her neck up to her ear. "I'm just glad you arrived." He shut the door and led her down into the tiny dining room so she could see all of his effort. Taking the food from her, he pulled out her chair for her. "Make yourself comfortable. Are you hungry? Thirsty? I have wine if you'd like some." Nic stepped into the apartment when he gestured for her to do so. She didn't protest in the slightest when he pulled her into his arms, and her eyes closed as his lips moved over the side of her neck. That felt... mmmmm... she would've been lying if she'd said that didn't feel good. She didn't intend to stay very long, but she allowed him to lead her into the dining room. She'd missed him, after all, and she didn't see where it would hurt to spend a few minutes catching up. Once they were in the dining room, though, she realized that he wanted her to stay longer than a few minutes. He didn't have a date. Apparently, he'd done all of this for her. She suddenly felt underdressed. "Could you give me just a minute?" she requested as he pulled out the chair. "I need to borrow your restroom first." Once he'd agreed, she headed into the bathroom. It took her a little longer than necessary, but that was because she took the time to send a few texts. After washing up and neatening her appearance, she headed back into the dining room. He wasn’t where she’d left him. Instead of looking for him, though, she sat in the chair he’d offered her a few minutes before. As she headed off to the bathroom, he headed into the kitchen. Settling the food down on the kitchen counter, he wasn't exactly hungry himself. Not just yet anyway. Gray's stomach was in knots because he was afraid of what was going to be said. He didn't want to come off as a jealous asshole, but he was jealous. He missed her more than he cared to admit, but if he needed to, he would. While he might not have wanted a relationship at first, he'd at least given equal time to the girls he'd been with. Gray came back out of the kitchen with two glasses of wine and sat down across from her. "I meant it, Nic. All of it. Especially the missing you part." He reached across the table and took her free hand into his own. Running his thumb over the back of her hand, he looked up into her eyes. "I know I haven't been the best guy for you. I fear that this guy is doing a better job then I ever did, but you have to at least give me the chance to make up for being the idiot I was. I won't just give you up without a fight... unless you've already made a decision. It feels like you've made one... I haven't spent more then a few minutes a week with you for the past few weeks." Squeezing her hand, he took a sip of his wine. "I'll ask again... Should I be worried?" A bright smile moved over her features when he came back into the room. "Thank you..." After accepting the glass of wine he offered, she tilted it up to her head for a sip. It was good... ice cold. It tasted like heaven after a long night at work. A part of her wished she could gulp it down, but she knew that wasn't smart. After all, she would need to drive in a little while. "I've missed you, too," she answered sincerely. "I've just been so bu..." Her words trailed off when he reached across the table and took her hand into his. His slightest touch sent a shiver down her spine, but she was able to hide that fact. She'd had a lot of practice in that area. "I knew what I was getting into," she protested. "You were straight forward about what you wanted." She tried to object when he began to list his faults, but some of his words were true. Tyler was doing a better job. They hadn't known one another for very long, but he'd made it obvious that he wanted her... just her. Oddly, though, he'd made that clear without pushing her for a commitment. "I haven't made a decision," she answered. "Not really. I just..." Her brow furrowed into something of a pained expression when he asked if he should be worried. She knew he wasn't going to like the answer, but she also knew that she should play it straight with him. "Probably," she answered. "He's a really great guy. I enjoy spending time with him. It's why I'm in no hurry for him to leave. I like him. A lot." She paused. "It doesn't mean that I don't still like you, but it does mean that I'm not ready for a relationship. I know it's not exactly fair, but... well, the unfairness of it, didn't keep me from agreeing when you said the same thing." There. She'd said it. She could only hope that he would be understanding. Gray shook his head. "No, I wasn't. I wasn't straight forward about what I wanted. I knew from the very beginning that I wanted you, but I knew my track record with girls. Despite how much I liked them initially, it always waned and I strayed or ended it. I didn't want that to happen with you. I didn't want to keep running around in the same cycle I had been. I didn't want to get hurt, but most importantly I didn't want you to get hurt." I haven't made a decision. Not really... Not really. That meant on some level she had. He bit back the anger and jealous rage that ran through him. It wasn't fair. She'd spend 95% of her time with him the last few weeks. How was he supposed to be able to compete if he wasn't allowed to play in the game? Gray's stomach fell to the floor when she admitted that he probably should be worried. He'd made his bed and now he was going to have to sleep in it. "Just so you know... I at least gave the girls I was seeing equal time... if not a little more to you. I feel like you're purposely spending all this time with him to get even with me. But okay. If you want time to explore your option, I'll give you the time. I don't want to lose you, Nicole. I want to be with you and I'm willing to do anything to make that the end result. But you can't spend most of your time with him and hardly any with me. How is that a fair chance for me? I get maybe a half an hour with you a week. What am I supposed to do?" Right now, Grayson wanted to punch something. He'd finally allowed himself to open up and try to find real love. Now it looked like it was all for naught. He'd made himself vulnerable and he hoped she knew just how much that took for him. Nic didn't know what to say. After all this time, he expected her to believe that he'd wanted her... just her... all along? That was bullshit, for lack of a better word. He'd told her from the very beginning that he didn't want a relationship. She'd agreed to keep it casual because she'd known that she couldn't have him any other way. To be honest, it pissed her off to think that she'd become his whore for nothing. "This isn't a punishment," she answered calmly. "I'm not spending time with him to punish you. He is my friend... my guest... I can't just blow him off. What is he supposed to do? Sit at my apartment and twiddle his thumbs?" He didn't need to storm around or punch things for her to know that he was upset. If their positions had been reversed, she would've been extremely upset. At the moment, though, she wasn't sure that she could do anything to help. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that... I don't know. I'm just sorry. I'm not trying to hurt you," she squeezed his hand as she spoke and flashed him a sympathetic smile. If he could hear what she was thinking, Gray would be mad. She wasn't his whore and it hadn't been for nothing. At the time it had seemed like a good idea. It was the only way he could be with her but not be with her and potentially hurt her. If he'd known that she wanted more... well... he would have tried. Gray had only been trying to make sure no one got hurt. "Your guest? He's staying with you?" Biting the inside of his cheeks, he tried not to show how upset and angry that made him. Knowing this though, he wanted to know more. "How long have you known him? If he's your friend, then he obviously knows Atlanta and people down here... how else would you have become friends with him? I just don't understand..." Gray pulled his hand out of hers after she squeezed it. Using both hands, he scrubbed over his face and tousled his hair in annoyance, but made no sound other then a sigh. He stood up slowly and offered her his hand. "Dance with me?" There were things he wanted to say, but he wanted... no needed to be close to her in order to say them. He was being a coward, but he didn't want to see her face... her reaction... when he said them. Nic hadn't wanted to settle for a casual relationship. She had, though. She'd never pushed for a relationship... she'd never pushed for anything. He'd made it clear that the feeling wasn't mutual, and she'd been understanding. She'd given in to what he'd wanted because she'd thought that she couldn't have him any other way. "He is," she confirmed with a slight nod of her head. "He came here to spend time with me. Sophie is in Los Angeles. It seemed stupid for him to get a hotel room." She hadn't felt the need to spell it out for him before now, but she wasn't going to lie when he asked her outright. She had no reason to. He might have decided that he wanted more, but they were just friends. She didn't have to answer to him. "I've known him for... a couple of months," she answered honestly. "I met him at a wedding. He does know people here in Atlanta, but... it's complicated." He deserved answers, but she wasn't about to give him the details of someone else's private life. Tyler had confided in her. She wasn't about to betray his trust. A confused expression moved over her face when he stood and asked her to dance with him. Really? He wanted to dance? That... "You want to dance?" she questioned with a slight shake of her head. Rather than continuing to argue with him, she slipped her hand into his and stood. If he wanted to dance, she could do that. Gray was furious. He was battling himself not to show it when she told him he was staying with her. If he showed how completely jealous he was over this other guy, he would lose Nic. He definitely knew her well enough to know that. Of course it was complicated... this little triangle of theirs was complicated and he hated it. This was his doing though. He'd waited too long. Simply nodding, Gray pulled her into his arms snugly when she stood. Moving slowly with the music, he kept their bodies extremely close. He trailed his fingers and hands over her hips. One hand stayed glued to the small of her back while the other trailed up her spine gently and up into the hair at the base of her neck. His lips pressed gentle kisses to her shoulder and up her neck. Grayson moved their bodies together to the music that was soft yet sensual... or maybe it was just being this close to her that made it sensual. The hand that had been in her hair trailed down her shoulder and arm by it's fingertips. Taking her hand into his, he pulled it down between them and placed it over his heart. He moved his lips to her ear and breathlessly whispered, "I love you, Nicole. I love you more then I ever knew I was capable of. I will wait an eternity for you." He brought his hand from his heart up to cup her face. Looking deep into her eyes, he smiled as lovingly and warmly with his own that he hoped she believed him. "Eternity." Slowly closing his eyes, he leaned in and kissed her gently at first. Within moments though, he deepened it. He needed to feel her. He needed to know by her kiss and her touch that he truly did still have a chance. Nic wrapped her arms around his shoulders when he pulled her close. They immediately began to move to the music, and she relaxed into the embrace, allowing him to lead her in the dance. A quiet hum of approval built within her chest as his hands began to move over her hips and sides. A shiver ran down her spine as his lips and fingertips brushed over her skin. It had been a while since they'd spent time together, but it wasn't strange or awkward for him to touch her in this fashion. The opposite, in fact, his touch was familiar. It felt as though her heart skipped several beats when he began to whisper in her ear. Mere months ago, she would've loved to hear him say that he loved her. Now, though, she wasn't sure how to respond. She cared for him, of course, but she was sure that wasn't what he would want to hear. Her eyes closed as his lips brushed over hers, and she returned his kiss with just as much tenderness. Moments later, he deepened the embrace, and she melted into him. She might not know what to say when he told her that he loved her, but she could do this. It didn't matter that she didn't say anything in response to his admitting to his love for her. Gray had finally been honest about his feelings for her and that was all that really mattered to him. Sure, he would be lying if he said it didn't suck that she didn't say it back, but he couldn't expect anything other then what was happening. He would take this one day at a time. He would wait this other guy out as long as he needed to until Nic told him otherwise. The hand at her back trailed along the waistband of her shorts and slipped up under the material of her shirt. Gray gently stroked his fingers up her spine. His nipped, sucked, and massaged at her lips and kissed her passionately. Tonight had to be memorable for her. Tonight he needed to make it clear how much he needed her. After all, Nicole was his saving grace when it came to relationships and the potential for love. Gray brougth both of his hands up her shirt and up her sides as he continued to kiss her and move them to the music. He moaned ever so slightly at the feel of her skin and her kiss. Their bodies were pressed so close that a feather couldn't have fit between them. "Nic..." A quiet hum of approval built in the back of her throat as his fingers continued to stroke over her body. Her skin covered in goosebumps and another shiver ran down her spine. As always, she responded to his slightest touch. Of course, that had never been a problem for them. In fact, they'd always meshed really well in this department. "Gray..." she answered softly. Her nipples hardened as his hands moved up her sides, and her breath caught in her chest. It would've been easy for her to give in to the sensations he was causing, but there was a nagging in her stomach. Tyler was waiting for her. She wanted Gray, but she didn't think it was right to ditch Tyler so that she could have him. Not to mention, it had been weeks since she'd had sex with anyone else. It didn't make a lot of sense, but she almost felt like she was cheating. Rather than breaking the embrace, she told herself that she could kiss him for a few more minutes. Deep down, she knew that he probably wouldn't be happy when she finally pulled away, but she hoped that he would be understanding. She didn't think anyone could fault her for wanting to give into this for a little while, though. He felt good, after all. God, he wanted her. He wanted her on so many different levels, it sometimes hurt to think about. Right now, though, he wanted to show her how good he could be with and for her. Gray groaned at the sound of his name coming from her. He felt her nipples harden against his chest and he couldn't help himself. His thumbs brushed over the taught nubs. Again, he couldn't help it when he started to grow hard from the embrace. Gray wouldn't push for sex... for making love to her, but he'd be damned to hell if he said he didn't want to. Slowly he moved them closer to top edge of the couch. Pulling her into his lap as he settled on the top of the couch, he kissed her harder. His hands moved over every inch of skin that was bare. Slipping his hand under the wire of her bra, he cupped her one breast in his hand as he let his thumb stroke over her hardened nipple. Gray moved his lips down over her neck and then up to her ear where he nibbled gently. "So beautiful... so good, baby." Nic didn't need a demonstration. She knew how good this could be. They'd done this many, many times before. A groan of approval built within her chest when his thumbs brushed over her nipples. The tight nubs responded to his touch and hardened even further. That was... he'd always known exactly how to touch her... exactly how to make her... guh. Her back arched as though it had a mind of its own, and she deepened the kiss without thinking about what she was doing. Moments later, they were settled onto the back of the sofa, and his hand was slipping into her bra. She fisted her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck and moaned as his lips began to work down the side of her neck. The words that followed were probably not what she was expecting, though. "Guh, Gray," she breathed. She allowed a few more minutes to pass, but she soon pulled out of the embrace. "I can't stay, Gray. I wish I could, but I can't." He probably wouldn't believe it, but she wasn't lying. She wished that she could stay, but she knew that she couldn't do that. Tyler was waiting for her, after all. Nic fit against his body as though she was made to always be there. She felt incredible in his arms. She felt incredible period. As she arched her back further into him, Gray groaned. The kiss had deepened and her hand clenched at the back of his neck. He was just about to carry her into his bedroom when she pulled out of the embrace. She couldn't stay. She was going home to him. This jealousy of his left a bitter taste in his mouth and he certainly didn't like it. This was cruel. This was... agony. More than anything, gray wanted to punch this other guys face in... but he wouldn't. He'd just have to settle for the wall when she left. "Then go." Gray let her out of his lap and arms. He let his arms fall lifelessly to his sides. She was leaving him to go to the other guy. Nic was choosing to leave. He clenched his fists, but kept them at his sides. "Leave, Nicole. You want to go be with him. So go home and hang out with him." Standing up, he went over to the table and blew out the only light in the room. A single tear fell from his eye, which he swiped away angrily. God, his friends were sure to think he was a pussy if they ever found out he'd shed a tear. "Thanks for dinner..." "I didn't mean..." With the way they were perched precariously on the back of the sofa, she was relying largely on him for support. As such, she very nearly fell when he dropped his arms to his sides. Luckily, she managed to catch herself just before she tumbled to the floor and she quickly shifted to her feet. Before she could say anything, though, he was moving over to the table. "I didn't say I had to..." The room went dark before she could finish. When she'd said that she couldn't stay, she hadn't meant that she had to leave right this second. She'd just meant... it didn't matter. "Yeah. No problem. I'll see you later." Rather than trying to explain, she righted her clothes and made her way out of the apartment. If he was angry because she couldn't fuck him, he didn't deserve her company anyway. |