Lizette Mallory Dixon (quiethumility) wrote in onceuponadream, @ 2011-07-03 05:07:00 |
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Aly was really making herself worry for nothing. Something about the conversation she'd had with Ashleigh almost a year ago still sat with her. To this day she didn't believe that most men and women could be friends without there ever having been something between them or something going to happen between them. A part of her always wondered and her conversation with Matt today hadn't helped. No one would tell her for sure. They all just kept saying ask Jon or Shelby. So today she would. She made dinner like she always did and had the table set for when Jon got home. Bethany was fed and playing in the living room and Maggie was seated at the table eating her pasta with chicken cutlet. Aly greeted Jon when he finally entered the apartment. "Hey... how was work? Did you ever date and sleep with Shelby?" Jon couldn't begin to describe the day he'd had. A seed of guilt had dropped into the pit of his stomach the second he'd opened his eyes, and it hadn't faded throughout the day. If anything, it had grown. He'd gotten a string of text messages from one of his best friends, and from what the other man had said, his wife was suspicious of the conversation he'd had the night before. She had every reason to be, of course, but he had no intention of owning up to what he'd done. It would only cause trouble, after all, and he didn't intend to ever let it happen again. On top of that, he'd found out that he was being promoted. This promotion would eventually mean that he would have to move his wife and children to Georgia, but he didn't think that was a bad thing. In fact, his thoughts were leaning in the opposite direction. He wanted to be closer to his family... he wanted his children to know his parents and sisters. It was an amazing opportunity, one that he thought his wife would be thrilled about, but he knew they would need to discuss the details. A large smile moved over his features as he entered the apartment he shared with his wife and children. He paused to greet his youngest daughter. She was playing in her playpen while she watched Veggie Tales. The show had just enough singing to hold her attention, but he knew it would only be a matter of time before she got bored. He pressed a fatherly kiss to his eldest daughter's forehead as he moved into the kitchen. She ended up wrapping both of her arms around his neck and planting a big smooch on his lips. Food was smeared all over his face, but he merely chuckled as he grabbed a napkin to clean up. "Hey, honey," he greeted warmly as he moved around the table to greet his wife in a similar fashion. "How was yo..." His words trailed off when she pushed through her greeting. He'd wondered if she was going to say anything to him. He was glad to see that she was, but at the same time, another part of him wanted to snap at her for dragging his friends into their problems... problems that he'd been completely unaware of. Rather than doing that, though, he pulled her into his arms and brushed a kiss over her lips. If she needed reassuring, it was his job to do it. A fight wouldn't help the situation in the slightest. "Work was great," he answered evenly. "How was your day?" He was more than willing to have the conversation that she was pushing for them to have, but he wanted to greet her properly, at least. A part of her hated herself for melting into his kiss and not staying determined. Pulling out of his arms, Aly crossed her own under her chest. She didn't like that he was ignoring her questions. Sure, she could have been more polite or more welcoming, but she was upset. Jon had spent their alone time texting Shelby. Texting her for so long that she'd cleaned up, folded laundry, showered, and fallen asleep before he finally joined her. She didn't care how drunk his female bestfriend had been... it shouldn't have taken that long or that much time away from her. Maybe she was being selfish, but something just didn't feel right to her. "Oh, it was peachy. Spoke with Matt and was made to feel like a crazy woman. All I want to know is if you ever dated Shelby... ever had sex with her... ever loved her... still love her. It's almost impossible for me to believe that a man and woman can be as close as you two are without there ever having been something between the two of you." Walking out of the dining room, Aly did not want to have this conversation in front of the girls. They might not understand what was going on, but Maggie was like a little parrot these days. Out of nowhere she'd say something that Aly had said days before. While it was cute... it was slightly embarrassing. Once in the kitchen, she braced her hands on the counter top and closed her eyes tight. "What was so important last night that you stayed up texting her while you left me alone? You may have said she was drunk and you wanted to make sure that she was okay... but what could you have done if she wasn't? We're in New York and she's in Atlanta. It's hard for me to believe that a girl would go out alone to get drunk... I'm sure she had someone with her." Jon sighed heavily when she immediately pulled out of the embrace and crossed her arms over her chest. It was obvious that she was upset, but he didn't exactly understand why. After all, she didn't know that he'd sent and received naughty texts the night before; there was no way for her to know that. Had he known what she was thinking, he would've been inclined to agree with the notion that she was being selfish. All of his spare time was devoted to her and the children. He rarely spoke with his family and friends. He didn't see anything wrong with spending a single night texting his best friend. If she had expressed displeasure at his focusing on someone else for a few hours, it would've annoyed him a great deal. "I'm sorry that he made you feel that way," he murmured. "He can be a..." When she persisted, he followed her out of the dining room. It wasn't a conversation he wanted to have in front of their daughters. Of course, it was a conversation he wanted to have at all. "Shelby and I dated when we were in school," he answered once they were alone. "It ended when her family moved away. Obviously, it wasn't anything serious or we would've rekindled it when we were in college." He paused. "You may not believe that a guy and a girl can be friends without having some sort of sexual history, but save for Matt, Ed, and Chris, all of my closest friends have been girls. It comes from being raised in a house full of girls, I suppose." He felt guilty for lying to her, but he knew it was necessary. Whatever it took, he told himself. His marriage was important to him. He didn't want it to end over something stupid. "She was drunk," he answered when she questioned him about the night before. "I wanted to make sure that she got home alright. I know that there is nearly 900 miles between us, but there is plenty I could've done for her. I could've called a cab or the police, if it had been necessary. It didn't come to that, luckily, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I sat by and let something happen to her. You might be sure that she wasn't out by herself, but that wasn't the impression I got, and I'm the one that spoke with her." It wasn't obvious, but he was annoyed by her assumptions. She didn't know Shelby, not the way that he did. She didn't know what she would or wouldn't do. He was also annoyed with the accusations she was making. He had made a mistake the night before, one that he didn't intend to confess to. That meant that he'd never given her a reason to question him. "I don't know why you decided to call Matt, but if you needed reassurance, you could have come to me. I love you, Aly. I don't know why you have trouble believing that. I've never gave you a reason to doubt it." Aly's back was turned to Jon as a few tears fell from her eyes. She didn't know why she was crying. Hell... she didn't know why she was so upset. She never asked him to rarely speak with his family and friends. That was his choice. The only family Aly ever interacted with was Dari and Jeremy. It hadn't exactly been her choice to be cut off from her parents, but at the same time it had. She was the one who went out partying and being rebellious. It had been too much for them and her getting pregnant at 18 had been the last straw. She listened to him as he explained his past with her. Jon being raised in a house full of girls could definitely be a reason he had more female friends, but with friends like Ed, Matt and Chris it was still a little hard to believe. Turning to face him, her cheeks glistened a little from her tears. Aly looked him deep in the eyes. "Am I? Crazy... Was Matt right? I spoke to Ashleigh once when she came to visit with Dari... I wanted to know about that letter... You said it was old... but it didn't look that old. You said that obviously it wasn't anything serious with Shelby or you would have rekindled in college. That letter had to be for her. You just never sent it... I resurfaced from running from Nate and visited you... the letter said "when you left Blackshear" and you just told me it ended with Shelby when she moved away." Wiping her eyes, she stepped closer to him and put her hand on his chest. Aly smiled sadly. "I love you too, Jon. More than anything. You're the only man I ever loved and I don't want to lose you. I just want the truth. If you were with her and you loved her, fine. If you didn't send that letter because of me... maybe you should. I don't want to stand in the way of you being truly happy." Jon frown when she turned to face him. It was obvious that she was fighting tears. He didn't understand what had caused her upset, but he dismissed it as some hormonal thing that he didn't understand. After all, he hadn't been lying when he'd said that he'd given her no reason to doubt him. At least, he didn't think he had. He was trying his best to be a good husband to her. "It might not look old, but that letter was written the summer after my freshman year in college... and it wasn't written to Shelby," he explained. Once again, he felt horrible for lying to her, but he knew it was necessary. If he wanted this to work, he had to lie. The truth would only cause trouble. "I dated a girl my junior and senior year of high school." That was the truth. "I thought I loved her." A lie. "We decided to end the relationship when we went away to college, but it was rekindled for a short time when we returned to Blackshear the following summer." Truth. "I thought I loved her. I was wrong." Lie. When she stepped closer, he reached out and pulled her into his arms. His head shook when she babbled about how he should send the letter... about how she didn't want to stand in the way of him being truly happy. "I am happy, Aly. If you can't see that... I'm failing as a husband. I don't know what I can do differently, but I must be doing something wrong if you doubt whether or not you make me happy." He inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Shelby is my best friend. I'm sorry if you're threatened by her, but you have no reason to be." Jon hadn't really caused her any doubt. It was mostly internal things. From the very beginning with him she'd never felt good enough for him. He was a good, kind man and she had a less then pleasant past. It was partially why she had refused his proposal initially. Aly didn't want him to be tied down to her because she used be a slut and had ended up pregnant... again. She nodded as he explained about another girl after Shelby. Aly had no reason not to believe him. When his arms wrapped around her, more tears fell as she stared up into his eyes. "It's not you... I just... I'm scared to lose you. I'm scared you're going to wake up one morning and realize you deserve so much better then me. I'm scared you're going to wake up and realize that you don't love me and you only married me because of Bethany. I've never been in love before... I thought, for a second, that I loved Nate... but I just liked his attention at first... before he started with the aggression and pushing and bruising..." Wrapping her arms around his neck, she rested her head against the crook in his neck. "I guess I just wanted a reason to push you away before you could push me away. I am threatened by her. I don't know why, but I am. Maybe it's because I don't have a guy bestfriend. I mean Jeremy is more like my brother than anything else... just like I see Dari as my sister. But Jeremy is married. Maybe if Shelby was in a relationship of her own I wouldn't be so threatened... I just... I want to be close to you. I want you to be my bestfriend and vice versa." Slowly, she looked back up into his eyes. "Promise me you'll always be open and honest with me. If I do something you don't like... like talking to your friends instead of you... tell me. If you ever change your mind and you want out of this relationship, you tell me before anything happens to add fuel to the flames. I don't think I have any secrets from you but if you want to know anything... ask. I'm a book with you... I love you." Despite the mistakes he'd made in his life, Jon was a devout Christian. He believed that everyone was deserving of forgiveness. As such, her past meant nothing to him. He didn't judge her for the things she'd done before they'd met. Of course, he believed that it wasn't his place to judge. "You have no reason to be afraid," he assured her softly as she began to cry. "My feelings aren't so fickle. You're the one for me, Aly. I wouldn't have married you if that wasn't the case." His arms tightened around her when she buried her face into the side of his neck. "You have no reason to feel threatened," he murmured. "She's my best friend, but you're my wife. There's no bond stronger than the bond of marriage." His eyes locked with hers when she asked him to promise that he would always be honest with her. Once again, his stomach felt heavy with guilt, but his response seemed genuinely sincere. "I promise, Aly," he answered without hesitation. "I love you." Rather than continuing to speak, he dipped his head and brushed a loving kiss over her lips. After lingering there for a moment, he pulled back. "In the future, come to me if you have a problem. Don't bring my friends and family into it. When you do that, they get offended. In the south, it's considered taboo to air your dirty laundry." Jon had no desire to fight with her, but she'd asked him to be honest with her about that specific issue. He hoped that she would understand that was all he was doing. Besides, he'd needed to say something to her. There was no telling how Ed would react if something like this happened again. It felt as though all the weight had been lifted off her heart, mind, and shoulders. How could he be so kind and forgiving when she'd been so irrational? It honestly made Aly love Jon all the more. All she could do was nod with his remarks about the bond of marriage being the strongest bond. A small smile played at her lips when he promised to be honest and told her that he loved her. The kiss was loving and she returned it with so much love and meaning, she hoped he understood. She couldn't survive if she ever lost him. Biting her lip, she nodded when he told her not to air their problems to people. "I wasn't trying to do that... I just wanted advice... information. I didn't realize... If you can't talk to anyone about your problems, how do you figure out what to do? I mean... I know deep down I'll do what I think best, but I need a sounding board. I talk to Jeremy and Dari about... well just about everything. Should I stop doing that?" She slowly pulled out of his arms and headed back into the dining room. If she was hungry, Aly was sure that Jon had to be. Besides, Maggie was just about done when they got back in there. "So why was work so great?" "I know," he answered. "I didn't think that was what you were trying to do, and I'm not telling you that you can't talk to your friends when you need advice." His hand moved to her cheek as he spoke. "I'm merely asking you to leave my friends out of it. They get offended when you approach them with our problems." Truth be told, Jon wasn't very hungry. He didn't intend to let that keep him from eating, though. She'd put time and effort into preparing a meal, and he didn't want her to feel as though he didn't appreciate it. Not to mention, his not being hungry had a lot to do with how guilty he felt for lying. He followed her when she pulled out of his arms and headed back into the dining room. "It was a great day," he told her, "because I was promoted." This was going to require a lot of discussing, but he hoped she was as happy as he was when they were finished doing that. |