Nell did roll her eyes. "Fine, stop being a negative ass, is that better? Because you seem determined to see everything in a negative light. I was teasing you, Derek, not throwing it back at you. But, by using that phrase to describe it, you do sound defensive. And you've said it more than once because you've said it to me, too...on my birthday, when you were a lot friendlier and you didn't even like me back then.
"But, I wasn't saying you were arguing, either. I said there's nothing here to fight unless we fight each other and I don't want to. And, yes, you are kind of being a jerk when you accuse me of only doing this to babysit you as if you can't see any other reason I might want to spend time with you. But, yes, we did think you would at least appreciate this. Not the hotel. That was for everyone else so they wouldn't bitch. But, we picked the area, close to all the state parks, for you, so you could stand with your feet in the grass and turn your face up to the sun. I picked activities for the day that you could be surrounded by all that nature in, something you've said time and again is what you enjoy most. Alright, I made you wear a suit for dinner at a nice restaurant because I wanted to celebrate your birthday, celebrate you."
She leaned on the table to get closer and meet his gaze. "And do you know what I think? I think you were trying to say good-bye with all that talk of missing me when you leave and not wanting to have a cake because you're already to go and leave us behind before we even know for sure it's possible right now. I also think you're shit at saying good-bye and you think you fucked up because you've let me see that you do care, but you don't want to. So, now, you're going out of your way to prove to yourself you don't care and pushing as hard as you can away from anyone that you've let get even a toehold on your heart and, in the process, robbing all of us of the potentially little time we could be spending together. You realize we're going to miss you, too, right? That you're not the only one going to be hurt? That John's going to miss people? That we're going to miss him and Brian, too? We may not be the family Savannah's put together, but we all think of you as part of our family, Derek. We all love you as family. And I get why you don't want to have the ties, okay? I do get it. But, I don't think you get how many people you're leaving in your wake because you've suddenly decided now's the time to cut them out of your life without a second glance. And you can say you don't care all you like, but I know that you do because you showed that you cared more when you first arrived than you're showing now and that's purely a defense mechanism because you know you've let yourself get closer to people here than you planned on."
Shaking her head, she signaled the waiter and asked for the bill. "But, you know what? I can't force you to be friends. I can and will be here for you whenever you need me because I do love you. But, while I can hold out my hand, you have to take it. You have to make that choice. And if you choose not to...then I'll have to be content with praying you find some kind of peace in your life after you've finally won that war. So, you're free to go. I'm not going to put you through desert after a day you disliked so much. Go do whatever it is you'd rather be doing." The tab was being billed to her room, so she wasn't leaving him with the bill. Just his own demons she couldn't fight for him unless he let her. Standing as the waiter returned, she moved around the table to kiss his cheek, one hand resting on his shoulder. "You know where to find me if you change your mind, though. I'll always be here for you, Derek, as long as you let me."