From: God of Babylon To: Gorgeous, Red Subject: Derek's Birthday
The only way to make him relax is to use lots of valium, but there are two problems with that. One, you won't let me drug him. Two, even if you did, I'm not sure it'll work since he's incapable of relaxing. I set more realistic goals, like he'll possibly enjoy a little.
Seriously if we use his standards, we'll have a bottle of whiskey, two gallons of milk, fruit and ice cream cake.
Maybe we should just get him to Vegas and get him laid. And yes throwing a party/event for him is a fucking pain in the ass and completely not fun.