"There are more reasons for being watched than escape, Abby. You're a smart girl. Figure it out." Before it became necessary to leave her behind, G didn't say. He still hoped it wouldn't come to that. She was a pain in the ass, but she was still one of them.
G snorted. There were days he really missed interrogating terrorists. They made more sense and had better insults. "You haven't said 'yes, I will' unconditionally, either. Saying 'I'll do it if you do me a favor' isn't the same."
The rest just made no sense to G. What did having a shower have to do with training on her own? Did she really think she was the only one being pushed? Maybe Sam was right about her. That had to be one of the most selfish and insensitive things he'd ever heard anyone say -- and given his line of work and the sort of people he dealt with on the job, that was saying something.
"Do you ever listen to yourself?" he asked coldly. There were very few things in this world G absolutely had no patience for and self-pity, woe is me, the world is too hard bullshit was right at the top. "I mean really listen, so you can hear the self-pity? Does anything anyone says register in your brain? The reasons we push? And push everyone, not just you. Do you honestly think you're the only one in a crap situation here? You think you don't matter because you aren't getting special treatment. No one is saying 'Poor Abby, she didn't ask for this.' Or giving you kisses and comfits. So, you must not matter, is that it?
"No one asked for this. No one wants to be here or doing this. But, no one else is throwing childish temper tantrums because life is unfair. People younger and less experienced than you are stepping up and doing what they have to in order for everyone to survive without bitching that life is unfair and people are mean. 'Cause guess what? Life is unfair. And people suck. And no one is going to help you if you can't make an effort to help yourself first. But, you? You'd rather be tortured and killed. You'd rather go through inhumane torment and pain that leaves you wishing someone would ask you a question just so you could give them an answer and make it stop. You'd rather give up and die than fight for yourself or the people around you with the misguided belief you deserve their affection.
"All because someone pushed you and you don't have the strength of character to push back."
And he didn't even yell. She'd pushed him to yelling before. But, this. This didn't deserve the passion or depth of caring yelling would require. He looked at her and he just felt cold disgust. "Fine. You want to be left alone so you can tell yourself no one cares without reality smacking you in the ass? You got it. Hetty said she'd authorized Sam to bring in equipment. I'll bring it in this weekend. You'll have your unsupervised training with no one to push you."
If only he could make that permanent. But, he still had a job to do.
"And then I'll be back in one week and you'll be tested. If you're improving, you get to continue training on your own for another week. And then we repeat the process. You get three weeks to yourself so long as you prove through the tests that you are actually putting in an effort. After that you will resume the rest of your self defense training. Maybe by then you'll be lucky and someone else will be willing to put up with you."