Nell couldn't help giggling just a little. "That's because you find nothing attractive about men having sex. Although, hey, you know, maybe I should consider women. Not that there are a whole lot of women around here in general, let alone single women willing to experiment with each other..."
She raised an eyebrow. "Tell me something. Do you think Vance is telling you and Deeks everything, that there's nothing he's keeping even from you? Does that make it so you can't work together? He thinks it's all on him. You think you have to do it yourself since he can't. Maybe that's the problem. Neither one of you really believes you can do this together. Not really. You'd like to. But, it doesn't sound like you really think you can. I don't know. Maybe you're right. But, let me ask this. Would you shut me out again if I went with you? Stop talking to me as openly because you were back in full command? I question you, push, often disagree."
Nell shook her head. "Who would listen to an eighteen year old? Sam did. He listened to John when others just saw the eighteen year old kid. But, no, that wasn't what I meant. I didn't mean leading. I meant Judgement Day. Look, I may be totally off and this is really just a minor in Psych rearing it's head. But, John's an idealist. He's been fighting since he was a little kid, since before Judgement Day. What was he fighting for? Not really survival. If he just needed to survive, it would have been easier to hide. So what was he fighting for before the nuclear apocalypse even happened? A kid who wanted a normal life he couldn't have because of a war he couldn't control? What about stopping that war? Think about it. If it was about becoming a leader, he'd be upset all the time. But, he only gets depressed around the time of Judgement Day. He doesn't mourn being a leader. He may not even see that as being lost because of a lifetime of being told he was going to be that man. And he is the kind to care and to want to help, possibly one of the least egotistical people I've ever met, even though by rights he should be cocky as hell because of the way he was raised. I don't think it's not being there to lead that upsets him."