"Yes, that's pretty much what I'm telling you, because having feeling is the first step. Saying I might develop feeling in the future is the immature way of dealing of things, because might doesn't mean anything. Might means that you have no idea and you just don't want him to feel bad. Might is like junior high kids deal with each other," she said.
"You're an adult. You have feelings or you don't. This doesn't mean getting involved with someone because he's around. It also doesn't mean that it's all or nothing. It means we both have feelings, let's see if we're compatible, if we can make it work, or even I have feelings, but I need to do this slow, but you didn't say any of that," she said. "It can't be 'hey, in the future', because it sounds like you're waiting for a better offer. And it can't be wait, because Tommy is an adult, too and I'm not interested means that he can look somewhere else, because you are not interested, because no matter how you phrase it, what you are saying means that you don't want him now, and you have no way of knowing what will happen in the future, so the fact that you might develop feelings is totally irrelevant.
"So, you can sit there and be annoyed, but the bottom line is that you're either not interested and trying to cover your butt, which is sucky to do to a friend, or you are interested and you're too darn scared to do anything about it. Figure it out, Oliver, because neither is very good."