Re: Travis/TJ
Travis laughed. "It's your fault I'm obsessed. You're the one who said that it didn't bother you, but kept pulling away. I had to prove my point, didn't I? And afterwards.. I enjoy the way you relax, and it doesn't matter if this haircut didn't cost a fortune or you're not using the equivalent of an entire salon on your hair, because it's not about the hair, but you."
He squeezed their joined hands, smiling. "Too bad there's no headboard so we could use those cuffs." Like always their conversations were all over the place, but it was nice that they could approach any subject, even if sometimes things didn't go as well as planned.
"Okay, let's go back to this Disney thing," he said. "You don't like the idea that true love will make everything perfect, as shown by the fact that your life was never as good as now that you have found a man that loves you. That's ... yes, perfect sense. I'm not sure if this is your attempt at telling me that I'm not enough or...? Feel free to explain," he said, keeping a straight face, before leaning down and kissing TJ. "Or maybe the idea is that once you do find that one person that loves you, whether it's romantic or paternal, there's that moment where everything feels perfect, because you have the important things in life, " Travis suggested. "It's not about things being perfect, but you feeling like everything is great with the world." He never had really thought about the message behind Disney. Wes was right and he was a big kid who enjoyed the roller coaster, but he could see why the message appealed to plenty of people. "I guess I grew up hoping that the fairy tales were real, that Superman would show up and take me away, and even if I didn't believe in them, I hoped, and you know something else? Life might not be perfect here, training is insane, we live in a place that makes my place look elegant, we're preparing to go into some dangerous areas, but I've never been happier, and that's because of you, so love might not make everything perfect, but it makes this shithole look pretty good. Disney is just an exaggerated version of this."
He kissed TJ softly again. "I'm not laughing or teasing. I think pale gold sounds like a damn good color." He smiled "And seriously how would you think that I'd make fun of you? I'm pretty sure that I mentioned the baby blue of your eyes at some point." He brought a hand to his lip and kissed it, before pushing it back on the mattress. "This is exactly why I asked in the first place. It's never about the colors, but what they represent. You didn't have that, and now you do, and hopefully you'll get a lot more colors that remind you of other happy moments, because that's what life should be."
He let go of TJ"s hands and grabbed his wrists with one hand, much like he had done months ago, while his free hand moved over TJ's body. "So you were clean for six months because of Sean and now you're clean for close to six months because of me." He pinched TJ's nipple. "I don't like that comparison. You stayed clean because of you, and you're right, I knew you could do it. You just needed someone to believe in you, but it's still you, and we'll keep working on this, because we both know that you'll never be cured, just like I won't be. Those brownies-" He sighed. "You don't know how much I hated them, I hated the feeling of being high. I realized that your power was involved when that hate disappeared. No, it didn't disappear, it was still there, but I didn't care because it felt good, it felt wrong, to."