"And I said that I need to talk to you," he answered, smiling. "If I wanted you to nod in agreement, because you are too fucked out to listen or care, then I'd fuck you first." Leaning in, he kissed TJ gently. "However I owe you in the department and I can make it up to you any way you want. After we talk."
Travis scoffed. "No, the reason we are talking about the drugs is that I know he was high and you were drunk. If I hadn't known there would have been a punch or maybe two, but no talking. I told you, I keep what's mine or I let go. Those are the only options. You can always pick which option it's best for you, but if you let go, there's no going back. You start kissing someone when you're sober and I know we are done. Does the fact that you were drink justify what happen? No. Am I happy about it? Fuck, no. Am I willing to be an adult and give you the benefit of the doubt? Yes and that's why we are talking, because the first thing I mentioned is that I'm worried about you."
It was so much easier to stay calm when talking about Tommy and that was why he had started with that. "Okay, so you didn't give him anything. I'll ask Brian. I wasn't paying enough attention to know for sure. Everyone is so concerned about others and we are all forgetting that the biggest problems undercover are internal. You are more likely to fuck up than to get caught. I'll make sure we keep an eye on him from now on."
Travis ran his hand over TJ's arm and squeezed gently. " A fellow addict is great if he's been clean and sober for years. You're still dealing with your own demons and maybe you are the only choice, but that doesn't mean that I don't worry. Did you hear what you just said? You put yourself on rations. There should be no rations. You shouldn't be thinking about that, but I get how hard it is, especially now, after those brownies. The club was hardly a good idea. Half of the people there were drunk or high. Maybe in the future we should pass. Talk away the temptation. It's not like alcohol by itself is not a trigger. There is no reason to add to the temptation. And if it's easier for you to go cold turkey, then I'll stop drinking too. No more beer or wine in the house. We tell your parents no wine at dinners. I'll do it with you if it helps. Because, babe, I'm really happy that you're trying to help him and I'll help too if I can, but you are my first concern at the moment."