InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm fat and very beautiful"

Leon Vance (leon_vance) wrote in omega_reality,
@ 2013-03-04 14:23:00

Entry tags:

*complete, *email, 2013 03, character: bud hammond, character: claudia donovan, character: derek reese, character: douglas hammond, character: elaine barrish hammond, character: margaret barrish, character: marty deeks, character: maura isles, character: thomas hammond, character: travis marks, dead: leon vance

Email to everyone
Who: Everyone
Where: Computers
When: Monday, March 4, 2013
Summary: Leon sends more directions

From: Leon Vance
To: Undisclosed Recipients
Subject: Engagement and wedding rings

To all the people in relationship, see Mr. Kinney for engagement/wedding/commitment rings. We'll try to match personal taste for the bands and of course we need the size for everyone involved.

Do this today.

Leon Vance

(Post a new comment)

doug_hammond
2013-03-04 07:38 pm UTC (link)

From: Douglas Hammond
To: Mom, Dad, Nana, TJ, Travis, Leon Vance, Maura, Claudia Donovan, Deeks, Derek
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

I've discovered today that Maura can't lie. I don't mean that she's a bad liar, but that she literally breaks out in a rash if she tries to lie. Mom, Dad, we don't need any comments about politics.

If anyone asks about the job or chemistry, she knows enough that she can answer the questions without technically lying and giving enough information that the average person won't even now what she's saying, while I will lie my way through it since chemistry was even worse than bio in high school, and never had to take it at Harvard.

Our biggest problem is the relationship. You can't really evade questions like are you married, when did you get married, is that your husband, so we've reached a decision: we're getting married.

Mom, Dad, you can breath. It's not real. There is that little problem of me being married, but none of that matters. I've proposed, very romantic, in our room. We're getting married with all of our friends. Since Maura has no family here, she's asking Claudia to be her Maiden of Honor, since she's family now. TJ will be my best man.

Why did you rush? We really wanted to do it while surrounded by family and friends. Do you love him/her? We couldn't imagine doing this with anyone. No, really, anyone else and I might break in hives or kill someone. Plenty of ways to evade the questions once we have the ceremony.

So we just need a date for our wedding. The sooner, the better.

Douglas

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_claudia_d
2013-03-04 07:47 pm UTC (link)

Claudia stared at the email she received, trying to figure out how she was family when she obviously wasn't, until she realized: covers, housing arrangements, duh. She didn't think it was a terrible idea if Maura couldn't lie yet. It had taken Claudia more than half the time she'd been here simply learning how to speak "properly" when they were undercover.

She waited to see if there were more responses before she would contact Maura.

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elaine_hammond
2013-03-04 08:24 pm UTC (link)

From: Elaine Barrish
To: Dougie
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

How is it physically possible that Dr. Isles can't lie? That's just inconceivable. Are you sure she's not... well, lying about this to have a wedding?

Mom

From: Elaine Barrish
To: Bud, Dougie, TJ, Mother, Travis Marks, Leon Vance, Dr. Maura Isles, Claudia Donovan, Marty Deeks, Derek Reese
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

Of course, we will do what's necessary to help her. Since time is of the essence, we can have the wedding this Saturday. Since we have the week off with all the closings, Friday we could have time to go shopping for clothes.

That reminds me. Claudia, we need to go shopping for you, especially if you are to be the Maiden of Honor. We'll also need clothes that don't make you look like you're still in high school... in some urban school. Flats, heels, skirts, nice tops.

Doctor Isle, I'll see some place small and intimate for the wedding, so that you can have as many details as possible for public consumption.

Elaine Barrish

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doug_hammond
2013-03-04 08:27 pm UTC (link)

From: Douglas Hammond
To: Mom
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

It's not a lie. We've tried. She lies, it's not that she can't say the lie, she can, although even that takes some time, a lot of time, but then she turns all red and she looks like she's been rubbing against poison ivy. It is a physical reaction, so we need this.

Thank you for helping out.

Doug

(Reply to this) (Parent)

_claudia_d
2013-03-04 08:57 pm UTC (link)

To: Elaine Barrish
From: Claudia Donovan
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

I'm down with shopping. But can't I be chic without the skirts? And just so you know, I fall down in heels. Literally. Two steps and kersplat.

What high school did I go to, anyway? I'll do some looking up of the fashion there online so I know what you're aiming for. I didn't go to college IRL, so you'll have to let me know which one so I can research it, too.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

elaine_hammond
2013-03-04 09:16 pm UTC (link)

From: Elaine Barrish
To: Claudia Donovan
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

You would be delighted to go shopping. You're not down with it. This is not some 70 re-enactment. We'll have to teach you how to speak and write.

Of course, you can be casual chic without skirts and we will get pants. You will also need skirts and heels. It's just takes practice and a two inch heel.

The boys went to Sidwell Friends School. It's a private school with a uniform and Dougie went to Harvard.

Elaine

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_claudia_d 2013-03-04 09:22 pm UTC (link)
	To: Elaine Barrish From: Claudia Donovan Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings Fine by me. This cover needs to be solid. You know how I speak when I'm undercover, but if it doesn't fit in the role, I'm all for learning. Claudia (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	elaine_hammond 2013-03-04 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	From: Elaine Barrish To: Claudia Donovan Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings Trust me, sugar, you will be able to speak like you were born and raised in Washington after you spend time with us. Now, how about this dress or this longer one for the wedding? Elaine (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_claudia_d 2013-03-04 09:47 pm UTC (link)
	Claudia stared at the pictures in horror. To: Elaine Barrish From: Claudia Donovan Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings Aren't there dresses with less boobs showing? Ooh, this is cool. Claudia (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

elaine_hammond
2013-03-04 09:56 pm UTC (link)

From: Elaine Barrish
To: Claudia Donovan
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

First, price is not a sign of elegance. Second, there is no way Vance is spending $12,000 on that monstrosity. Third, you do not wear black at a wedding. While designers seem to like to be outrageous, unless the bride wants to go in that direction, you should know better than to wear black at a wedding.

Let's try different colors to match Maura's preferences:

Dress one

Dress two

Dress three (just the dress and not that horrible jacket)

Elaine

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_claudia_d
2013-03-04 10:12 pm UTC (link)

From: Elaine Barrish
To: Claudia Donovan
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

I didn't even look at the price tag. I was looking at the style. And I never got why women couldn't wear black at a wedding, but men do.

The silver one is okay, definitely minus that coat. Poofy sleeves on a biker jacket?

What about this one? I sorted by price. I love the shoulders.

This reminds me that I'm going to have to shave my legs again, aren't I?

Claudia

P.S. $930 for this?! I can cut up a table cloth for much less.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

_claudia_d
2013-03-04 10:23 pm UTC (link)

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elaine_hammond
2013-03-04 11:22 pm UTC (link)

From: Elaine Barrish
To: Claudia Donovan
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

Men don't wear all black at a wedding and if they do, they should know better. However the tradition is specifically for the bride. If the bride wore black, it was said that she would regret the marriage/split up/divorce. If her guests did, then they were said to oppose the wedding, because black is a sign of mourning and friends and family were mourning the union.

While it is nothing more than tradition, it is extremely bad form to wear black unless you know the bride well and now that she approved of black.

I like the blue dress, but I felt you might like a shorter, lighter dress, since darker colors require more accessories, heels, hair. The Armani one is more youthful and seems to reflect your personality more. However, I do like both. You might want to try them on and see how you feel in them.

The last one is a caftan or Kaftan. They are originally from Persia, but Moroccans have a similar, more elegant type called Takchita. Kaftans became were popular in the 60s and 70s. They are usually made from the finest silk, like the one that you linked me to. They are appropriate for less formal parties by the beach, on a boat or a villa. Some of the properties in Ivory Coast are magnificent and a Kaftan like that would keep you cool and elegant at the same time.

Elaine

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_claudia_d
2013-03-06 02:25 pm UTC (link)

From: Elaine Barrish
To: Claudia Donovan
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

You know a lot about clothes! Actually, you probably know something about everything since you're from a political world. I'm kinda looking forward to absorbing knowledge from you. You never know when it'll come in handy.

Now I have an image in my head of us diplomating with prehistoric monsters on why they shouldn't eat us.

Claudia

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elaine_hammond
2013-03-06 03:14 pm UTC (link)

From: Elaine Barrish
To: Claudia Donovan
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

No, my son Thomas knows a lot about clothes. This has little to do with clothes and a lot to do with culture.

You are looking forward to leaning from you. You don't absorb knowledge from another person. And, you are correct: there is no such thing as too much knowledge.

Diplomatic is not a verb. You can negotiate with people. You do not diplomat. That reminds me. Previously you said that I know how you speak while undercover, but I have never been undercover with you or anyone else. In fact, I was not aware that you did any undercover operations. How exactly do you speak?

Elaine

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	_claudia_d 2013-03-06 03:38 pm UTC (link)
	From: Elaine Barrish To: Claudia Donovan Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings Undercover training, and anytime we've be out around town(s), I've learned to adopt what's considered a "normal" speech pattern, like how Troy and Sean speak. It's still not even close to how you speak. Claudia (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

elaine_hammond
2013-03-06 04:26 pm UTC (link)

From: Elaine Barrish
To: Claudia Donovan
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

I have not been to undercover training that discussion speech, however, there is no such thing as 'normal' speech pattern. The way I speak at home is very different than I would speak at the State Department, the White House or official functions.

You don't even have to go that far, but use Troy and Sean as an example. The two speak very differently from each other. In fact, they also speak very differently depending who they are with. While around the club Troy seems to be the more relaxed one, the jock if we might say so, when there are missions, Troy sounds a lot more 'military'. He's all business, possibly due to his upbringing, but also because of the hierarchical structure of a baseball team. I would opine that the fact that the people in charge are his husband's relative and he want to make a good impression also adds to that.

If you are adoption one pattern as 'normal', then I would suggest speaking with Mr. Deeks, because that is hardly optimal.

Elaine

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	_claudia_d 2013-03-06 05:08 pm UTC (link)
	From: Elaine Barrish To: Claudia Donovan Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings I'm just doing the best I can with the group I work with concerning how things went in training. My normal is not considered normal. It's all work to me. So if I'm supposed to be related to you, I'll do my best to learn to speak like you in public. Claudia (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

elaine_hammond
2013-03-06 05:15 pm UTC (link)

From: Elaine Barrish
To: Claudia Donovan
Subject: Re: Engagement and wedding rings

Your normal would be considered normal if you were part of some hipster group in Seattle. The point is that you are not part of a hipster group in Seattle. Normal changes according to where you are and you need to change the language to reflect your surroundings.

When we go shopping, we will get a few books. One on etiquette, one on grammar. I would generally suggest classic novels as well to add to our education. We'll make sure you read the New York Times and the Washington Post. It should be a good start.

Elaine.

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