Brian Kinney (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} b_kinney) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} omega_reality, |
Brian wasn't letting go just yet. They could have this discussion while they were wrapped around each other. It might not make sense to most people, but he really didn't give a fuck about what everyone else thought about them. The only one that mattered was John, whether he believed it or not.
"I love that blush. It was fucking awesome to see how you liked something I was suggesting just by the blush you get. It gave me an excuse to spend the night with you at Splash, because you wouldn't have lasted a second in that place, with that gorgeous blush in your face, the way you were looking and not at the same." He leaned down and kissed him again. "So fucking gorgeous," he whispered into the kiss.
"Do you want to be with someone else?" he asked. "Because fantasies are just that. If the idea of being with someone else while I watch makes you horny, then okay, but if it doesn't, then I don't need it. There are other things...." Brian stopped. This was going against everything he'd done for the past few months, and it would be so easy to use this to push John just enough to get what he wanted, but while he didn't give a fuck about people's feelings, he didn't play mind games with the people he considered friends.
"I... I'm getting old. I feel old, John, and I thought that... it wasn't even conscious, but I thought that you'd see that you were better off if we broke up, and this would be so easy to turn into something else, but I never expected that I could do the damage, the pain-" He brushed John's hair. "I don't want to hurt you and I'm tired of pushing you toward someone else, so if you want to fuck someone, be my guest, Gorgeous, but don't do it because you think it's what's going to fix me. I was fucked up long before you were born. I can give you the fantasy with just us if you'd prefer that."