John blinked, then stared at Brian for a moment. He didn't think he'd ever heard the words 'I'm sorry' come out of Brian's mouth without sounding sarcastic. But, he couldn't find a trace of sarcasm in what Brian had just said. It was like there was no fire left in him. Releasing his grip on Brian's shirt, he slid his arms around Brian's waist and held him tightly. If he could have, he'd have transferred some of his will to Brian through that hug.
"Vance also knew that I was alive and that he'd lose my cooperation forever if he let you leave after lying to you about my death," he pointed out. He didn't think they could stay here. But, they almost had to pass through other worlds, worlds that wouldn't expect dimensional travels. If they had to, they could slip away on one of those if it would help Brian find happiness again. But, he wouldn't say that aloud. It could be just one more contingency plan in his head that never was spoken of until it was needed.
"If that's the best you can do, then that's all I can ask. Stay alive for me, Brian. Maybe it's a futile quest. But, you stay alive for me and I'll find a way to see you smile again. Somehow. Because you matter to me and if I'm young enough to still be stupid, then I'm young enough to still be stubborn, as well. I will always look to a better future and if you happen to be in that picture, so much the better." He would find something that would make Brian happy, even if only for a moment. And then he'd look toward making another moment. And, maybe, eventually the moments would start to add up.