"Ah, but see, I don't want to argue or not argue. I want to know what you think. Then I'll explain why I'm right," TJ replied with a smirk. "I do like that." Confirmation came with a soft smile and more slow kissing. "I like the way you're always touching me like it's more natural for your hands to be on me than not," he went on, whispering the words in between kisses. "I like the way you smile when I come into the room, the way you make love to me like you can't get enough and fuck me like it means something, the way you explain things instead of dismissing my mistakes and believe in me when I can't believe in myself."
Arching his neck, he rolled his hips a little more. "And I really like that I can make you sound like that," he added huskily. Blue-eyed gaze met blue-eyed gaze in the half-moon's light and TJ cupped Travis' face between his hands. "You're mine as much as I'm yours, remember? Spoiled little rich boys never have to learn to share what's theirs." Not that he would be entirely opposed to inviting a third party into their bed for a night's play on rare occasion. But, it would be with the understanding that third person was a one-time guest only. "The key I gave you is a claim as well as an offering, Travis. Mine, as long as you want to be. No one else's. Got that?"
He kissed Travis again, then grinned. "Of course I want to control what they know. It's my business. I might share some things, but it's my life to share or not." Chuckling, he shook his head. "You know, most people would consider my life before now to have been privileged, not limited."
TJ smirked. "I'll make you a deal. I'll try harder to remember some of that stuff, if you find a place for your best suit in that bag of yours. Brian was right in his email. We're preparing now for what seem to be very primitive conditions, if the training is anything to go on. But, there's always a chance we could end up some place where the battle is fought less with guns and more with words and appearances." He shifted his shoulder blades, trying to scratch a sudden itch on the wall behind him. "And a lifetime's supply of body lotion wouldn't be amiss. Between these clothes, the salt, sand, and wind, I'm going to be a lizard man in less than a month."
Sighing, he ran his thumbs in small circles at the sides of Travis' neck. "No, she was offended because I answered her with short responses. She made some wild comparison to Callen and how she could say things bad about him, but no one else could, so I shouldn't or else. Of course, the fact I'd never said anything about him at all, bad or good, and it was all her seemed to escape her notice. And that was the only conversation I'd ever had with her before her email asking me to play piano for the club. If being called 'Mrs. Deeks' offended her, she'd got bigger issues than I thought because that was the part she was poking fun at. In fact, I was much more polite in the email than I was in person back in September. I don't see how I'm in the wrong for being polite just because other people don't know how to be."
He was trying to understand what his lover was saying. he truly was. But, the concept was so completely foreign to him. Family was family. It wasn't that he couldn't understand loyalty. But, loyalty was only a small part of family. After a long silence, he found himself shaking his head again. "It doesn't make sense to me, how someone you're not even friends with can be family. I get the loyalty and the brothers in arms thing. But, that's not family to me. I'm not...I'm trying to find a way to say this without sounding judgmental or making you feel bad. But, family to me is blood or commitments that go beyond being willing to die for someone. It's staying alive for someone. It's belonging somewhere regardless of duty, but still acknowledging that duty. It's having a home of your own where those people are, like our apartm-" TJ stared at Travis for a moment, shocked at what he'd started to say but also partly afraid that even half-said it would spook his lover. Too much, too soon and TJ wasn't even really ready for such thoughts himself. It just...came out.
"Like our apartment was home because it was where you and Doug were," he finished softly.