"Sweet talker." Smirking, TJ kept the hand holding his cigarette held slightly away, but cupped his free hand around Travis' neck. That having Travis' hands on him made him feel better, just a little, probably meant he really was too easy. But, he didn't care. He sighed as Travis went on, however, because as much as he wanted to say Travis wasn't going to lose him, the more he talked to his brother, the more it looked like he was going to have to choose between them and he didn't want to do that. "I know. Mom brought it up at dinner our first night back. It's...why we're arguing, Doug and I. I wish it just meant you wanted me with you night and day...which I don't mind, either, just so we're clear."
TJ snorted and shook his head. "I don't think you've had a chance to mention it in the last week or so." Taking another hit from the cigarette, he stubbed the rest of it out against the wall and flicked the butt out into the night. It let him loop both arms around Travis' neck to pull him closer. "How am I supposed to let go of the past when it keeps getting thrown in my face? I can't...I can't escape who I was, what I did. They won't let me. It's ridiculous. They wanted to change the world, but can't believe I could change, won't consider changing themselves. And Doug...he...I don't know. He said he believed in me in Pittsburgh. But, it's like the moment we got here, he lost all of that faith and he thinks less of me now than he did at home."
Leaning his head back against the wall, he sighed again. "I never hung my future on anything. I never knew what I wanted other than to do something important...that wasn't in politics. I still don't, not really. When I told Doug my dream had changed before we came here, I meant that I'm starting to build one, a real one instead of vague ideas of what I should do. But, I'm still learning all this myself. Maybe...maybe it's a mistake to think I can convince him of something I only half-believe yet? Doug's never needed me before. Maybe there's a reason for that."
He tried to smile. "And I'm still better than almost everyone and never going to be good enough for my family. Mom wants us to come to dinner on the weekends, by the way. You and me. Well, Doug, too, I'm sure. But, she specified that I bring you. Savannah, too, actually...wants us to come to dinner sometime, her place not Mom's," he clarified with a chuckle.