Re: Travis/TJ
This felt like a throwback to September, standing in a small bathroom at a Disney resort, trying to understand each other like they came from different planets. Maybe they did and living isolated from everyone masked their differences, but just like he hadn't been willing to give up, he wasn't willing now.
"I told Deeks about us," he said, before trying to address everything else. He stared at TJ and kept his voice calm. "He's not a friend per se, but he's LAPD. That means something to me and to him. He was my contact, the one who volunteered to help me when I left without me asking. I respect him and I told him right on the plane, but I thought he should know about the person I care about, he should know how it could affect my judgement, he should know regardless of his own opinion on the matter."
He sighed. "Okay, maybe I am waiting for the moment you realize that you don't want to be with me, and that's my own issues talking, but you couldn't even bother to talk to me, just nodding me away like you're ashamed of us... God, TJ, you want to protect me from a bullet, then go right ahead, but from your parents? I can handle your parents. I should handle your parents, because if you really are serious about us, then we need to do the important things together, and dealing with your parents falls under the important things. They are a vital part of who you are, and I should be there with you, no matter how ugly it gets, especially if it gets ugly. I have the right to be there with you, helping you through it, because if we can't be there for each other for the hard stuff, then we're nothing. We're just sex and I've done just sex for a long time, and it's not what I want from you."
He moved closer and put his hand on TJ's hip. "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, but it felt like ...." It felt like everything had changed in a heartbeat and he hadn't reacted well. "Look, I'm sorry for misreading the situation, but I don't want you to protect me when it comes to this. I want to be with you and I want to be able to face things with you, good or bad, and when it is bad, then you can be here when I lick my wounds, just like I'm there for you."
Travis pressed his forehead against TJ. "You try again? You keep trying until we get it right. I can't do this alone, TJ, because I don't know how to do this either." He'd worry about staying or leaving later, just like he'd consider Vail's comments when he was calmer and when TJ didn't look like he was one step away from getting high. "Don't go out there. Please. Try with me, TJ."