Travis nodded. "Just like that, because you're not defined by name, money or appearances, but by what you want to be," he whispered, lips still close to TJ's. Of course that was before he started to laugh. "You know I said that just to piss you off, right? You kept saying that you didn't want it and I figured that was the easiest way to get you to backtrack. You're adorable when you look so indignant. Picked is better word. I did my research. You didn't just end up with a Steinway, TJ. I wanted to find a piano that meant something, even if we had to spend money, instead of the free ones. And you're welcome," he said with a grin.
He kissed TJ's finger. "Now you know more than anyone in my life. I don't talk about this to anyone. It's no one's business and there's really nothing anyone can do to fix the past. I didn't think you needed to know until tonight, and that's why I told you." He shook his head. "No, not really, not in the way those with a wife and children will be missed. Did you hear anyone trying to convince me to stay at the school? They lost a fighter, but there was no personal attachment. Look at the people there. Their families are their teams, and I don't even mean here, where life had forced them to spend all of their time together, but back at home. And since you aren't worrying, there's only Doug left," he joked. "The point is that if hadn't been for this, you wouldn't have given the time of day. It's why so any people with stories like mine go into this line of business. Tell me how many of your bodyguards at home had families when they had to spend their days with your family? I'm willing to bet not that many, and if they started out with a family, chances are that they got divorced alone the way. I'm not looking for sympathy here. It's just the way things are." He kissed TJ softly. "I'm glad you aren't worried. It'd cost us a fortune to deal with the wrinkles."
Travis moved his hand as TJ turned around, going being his back. "I know myself enough to know that I'll be fucked up no matter what, which is why I'm trying to make things easy for you, but-" If he hadn't know before that he was fucked up, this would sea the deal. "Then no open relationship. If you can deal with that, because every fiber in my body is telling me to protect you from bullets, from diseases, from people who want to fuck you just because you are different, better, more sophisticated. I watch people looking at you and I can only think 'mine, I won't let you hurt him'." He held TJ close as he closed his eyes. "I like this, too. I'm not going to wake up and go 'oh my god, cock, how could I?'. I like you, like talking to you. God help me, but I like fucking you." And that was where the confusion lay. He didn't know if it was the cover, him, the dimension or he'd just lost his mind, but he enjoyed this fake relationship even when the cover slipped.