Travis smiled. If at the kiss or the idea that anyone would tell him to talk some more, he wasn't sure. "I know it was, but 'has been' is what applies here. It's not anymore. You're worth whatever you want to be worth. Just like the rest of us."
He reached for TJ and kissed him, not the gentle touch of lips which were part affection and part show, but a real kiss with no teasing or playing, emotions shown in such a silent manner. Travis pressed their foreheads together as he pulled back. "I never thought we were that different; you're the one dismissing my analogies, but you know, I'm a pretty good detective. I figure things out," he said, smiling, before sighing. "I don't know, maybe it's why I was trying so hard. I know how it feels."
Travis shook his head. "You didn't have to get it. That's the whole point of masks. Even my coworkers didn't see it and they are used to seeing the lies. Do you know who sees it? Kindred spirits. I'll let you in on a little secret. There were more like us at that school than you think. I don't know their stories and I'm sure things aren't exactly the same, but we're not exactly the exception. It's not surprising either. I told you that half of my siblings ended up in law enforcement. That's because you have no attachments, you can travel, you don't worry anyone if something happens to you. We're... disposable. People with the stable families don't go for the dangerous jobs. When we go back, keep that in mind. If people have had a shitty life, they aren't likely to give you any slack. If anything, they'll just see the spoiled kid with the money and parents, whining for no reason. I know better and they will too if you let them see the man I see."
He rested his head on the pillow and stared a TJ. "Is it really that bad? The idea of the jealous boyfriend? You know that I wouldn't hurt anyone, right? I might have wanted to pound him, but I didn't, and I won't stop you if that's what you want to do.. as long as you're safe and using some common sense. No sense in protecting your life if you end up catching something that could kill you." He put his hand on TJ's chest, while he kept his eyes on the other man, because if his eyes didn't like, then TJ should know. "I like you, TJ. I'm not thinking past this moment; I can't, and God knows it'll be fucked up when we go back; I'll be fucked up, but right now, I want to do what makes you comfortable. If you can't live with this cover, then we move. If you can, then we stay. Either way I'll worry about you and your feelings. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. As long as we keep talking to each other and being honest with each other, then I think we'll be fine. Truthfully, I think we might be better off this way. We can help each other in ways we couldn't otherwise. We wouldn't have known half the shit we do about each other if we were pretending to be just friends But, it's your decision."