Touching wasn't an issue after that, not when TJ recoiled from the vehemence in Travis' outburst. The judgment angered TJ more than anything. Rolling away, he actually got out of bed to put even more space between them. "Am I? Am I really? Why shouldn't I believe him? It's not like there's ever been anyone else who actually wanted me and not my name. Fuck, I can't even get first place on some trick's list of famous people he can cheat on his boyfriend with, I come in second to Robert Fucking Patterson. Maybe you're right, maybe he just wanted to hurt me. Guess what, it fucking worked. He told me he loved me and I believed him. I would have stood by him coming out even though, as Doug pointed out to me, I'd have taken the brunt of the backlash for it a hundred times worse than when I came out as a kid. And my mother wouldn't have been there to protect me when she'd already written me off for not ending it myself. But, I loved him and I thought he loved me and it would have been fucking worth it. Only, stupid me, I wasn't worth shit after all. Politics always come first. Either I'm a means to an end or collateral damage, but why shouldn't I believe him when there's no one else saying anything to the contrary? And don't start in with how you're different because we both know none of this is real. It's a part just like everything else. And when we leave, it's over, whatever it is. So, yes, Travis, I can absolutely believe him because it's no different than everyone else I've ever been with other than the fact I actually fooled myself into thinking it was real. I let a casual fuck become a relationship that never should have existed. Maybe he was a dick, but I was stupid enough to fall for it. So, maybe he was right after all. Maybe they're all right and I'm just the poor, unfortunate idiot who'll never amount to anything better than a strung out whore! God knows that's all my parents see and if my own parents can't think better of me, why should anyone else?"