April and Eliot Who:April and Eliot Where:The Farm, Eliot's house When:December 11, early morning Summary:April needs to talk to a friend
For days she'd dived into work whenever she could, trying to push through the pain and isolation by just pushing herself as much as possible. She focused on the others, on Eliot and his loss though he didn't let her in, on Nell and Nick and their injuries, on setting up the infirmary and thinking of everything that they would need, of their house and what it would need. Anything to not think of the pain and doubt. It was hardest at night, when there was nothing to do, not even a bed to sleep on, but just the roll out bed in an empty room. This was when the thoughts came crashing in, not allowing her to escape. It was not unusual that she cried herself to sleep.
Uncharacteristically she'd claimed the master bedroom of their house without any consideration to either Nick or Eliot. She hadn't claimed it when moving in with Mike and Abby because she'd been too happy to move into a house - and too insecure to demand much. When she was moved into Peter's and Neal's house, it was theirs and there was nothing to claim. When she'd moved in with Mike again, she'd been the one to take the office, because she slept with Mike anyway. As they moved it had stayed that way - she took the small room while Mike was in the master and they stayed in his, even though it could easily be the other way around. This time she'd gone straight into the master and put her roll bed on the floor, no argument or discussion, just closing the door behind her. Right now though, the room felt nothing but cold and too big.
She'd woken up from a nightmare, sitting bolt upright with the feeling of suffocating washed over her. She was panting for breath in the darkness, the images of her dream washed over her. Mike's smiling face as he leaned into kiss her, the mask of the soldier he suddenly turned into, the terrifying scream as he soared into the air and landed on his head, the blood that flowed out onto the floor, the soldiers face turning into Mike only to turn into Reed as she had stumbled upon her in real life.
Pushing the images from her mind, April pulled her knees up and hugged them close as her body shook with the strengths of her sobs. She missed Mike's arms around her, she missed her family, she missed Reed and Jackson and the friends she'd left behind. She missed not feeling alone - which she had since the escape.
She wasn't sure how long she stayed in that position, crying, but she knew there would be no going back too sleep. The images of her nightmare were still too vivid in her mind. Her options was to stay put or go out into the house where she could hear the quiet sounds of Eliot moving around.
Eliot, he'd barely let her get close since arriving, and she'd let him escape. She'd tried to push, but she didn't have the strength and she didn't really want to talk about her own pain so how could she force him to talk of his? Right now though, she needed him, she knew she couldn't do this alone or she'd break down. Getting up, she got dressed and left the room, making enough noise so that Eliot would hear her but not so much as to wake Nick up.
"I think I need that talk now," she said as she came into the kitchen, her voice stronger than it felt, but still broken with the tears.