Re: Derek/Emily
"I wasn't going to say barefoot, but the pregnant? It's pretty easy around here, you know if you happen to have sex." He remember those days, long ago. God, he and his hand were really good friends lately.
Derek sat down close to her. This was probably not the best theme night for this conversation. The music was loud and they need to be be close. "You mean something. It was hard without you around." He sighed. "I know that getting used to that openness isn't easy, but again that's the problem. You were a plant, and then more secrets, and I do understand that there are legal obligations, but you still do it easily enough that we didn't notice."
He smiled. "It's a big difference, Emily. A huge one. If you had come in with the truth, with us knowing what your background was and accepting that there were laws involved that prevented you to share, it would have been ... hurt so much." He snorted. "He's got a brand new team, half of his team is gone. I can see why, but even then-" he shook his head. "I don't believe it. He might take the credit or blame, depending on your point of you, but it wasn't his idea, and if it was, there's something seriously wrong at home, because he should have known that I would have given my life for you and anyone replacing me should have been able to do the same."
He could feel the sting in his eyes and was glad about the darkness around them. "Do you know how hard it was to hear that you were dead and there was nothing I could do? I wasn't there to help you and I couldn't even avenge you. If you don't know how much you mean to me, then maybe you really don't understand."