InsaneJournal

RP: G Callen
Who: G Callen
Where: Team Pool
When: Thursday, October 20, 2011 -- after 10pm
Summary: G just needs to push himself and forget for a little while. If only he wasn't so tired.


After dismissing everyone from training, G stayed behind instead of making his way home. That wasn't all that unusual, of course. He was often the first one in and last one out, except for Hetty. Or, he had been before Sam's power had shown up and G began going home as much as he could to keep Sam from being alone too much. Sean had been keeping to himself at the apartment even more than he usually did when practicing. G wondered if he was as thrown by the pregnancies as every other male in the family, or if something else was bothering the young man.

He'd have to make time to talk to him at some point soon.

And that was the real reason G had stayed behind this night.

Everyone was having problems and most of them G felt responsible for helping and none of them were people he really felt he could turn to himself right then.

Normally, he could turn to Sam. Though he didn't like to talk about his problems much, he could always talk to Sam. But, now, he didn't feel it was fair to Sam to burden him with how lost G felt after weeks of not being able to touch, or how confused he was over the fact touching anyone even mattered so much he could feel lost without it. Sam had enough worries of his own with learning to live with this power and his daughter's pregnancy; he didn't need G's neuroses on top of all that.

For a short time, G had considered talking to Rob. But, that thought had died as soon as his brother had told him there was no point in talking if they could fix something. If that was how he felt, talking to G about G's personal problems wasn't going to be anything but a waste of time in the other man's eyes. Besides, Robert, too, had enough on his mind with impending fatherhood and learning to live with Kensi.

G supposed he could talk to Deeks. After Sam and Robert, Deeks was the one he was closest to of anyone on the very short list of possibilities. But, he was a new husband and also soon to be a father. And, this wasn't something G could talk to Savannah about. Hetty couldn't officially know about either Sam's power or their relationship, even if G was sure she probably did know about both. That let her off the list.

Morgan was usually willing enough to offer himself up for talking...and talking. Since the man had proven helpful, even if his methods of getting G through some of his lingering issues as a result of childhood trauma had left G feeling more exposed and tormented than ever before for several days after their attempts, G had decided to trust him a little more. But, he was still feeling raw from that experience and not inclined to delve too deeply into his private life with the other man just yet.

All of which left G st the pool late on a Thursday night, avoiding his demons for one night by stripping down to the surfsuit Sam had bought him for the team trip back in August. If he'd wanted to prove he could do some of the SEAL work Sam was putting them all through vicariously through G, he might have stayed fully clothed. But, he wasn't a SEAL and he wasn't Sam and he wanted to move more than he needed to prove anything.

There were other ways he wanted to push his endurance tonight.

Responsibility kept him on base more than he liked. But, since they'd set aside the pool to train, he'd started to put what private training in that he could there, about twice a week at this point, instead of going out to the warehouse to train his power in peace and solitude.

Sliding into the water, G went under and held his breath until he ran out before kicking back up to the surface. One thing working on his issues with Morgan had done was prove to him it was more about being bound than recreating the exact circumstances of the original assault that was G's stumbling point. He was no more likely to panic in the water than out when he was bound. And, being bound was something he'd been learning to deal with for years. His panic attacks were manageable while undercover, non-existent, really, and when it was just himself, he knew from working with Sam he could hold the panic inside if he had to.

Tonight, however, he wasn't working on that issue. Tonight he was simply doing laps, basic laps for as long as he could, both with and without his power. Running more than a couple laps around the warehouse had been tiring him out since before they'd gone to L.A. G was hoping that by working in the pool, he'd build up his endurance faster than simply running. seemed to be doing.

G huffed at the thought. Maybe doing this more regularly as he had been would firm up that soft middle Sam was always teasing him about, give his partner something to look forward to when they could touch each other again. Although, despite Savannah's cooking and the fact he was eating with the same frequency as he had for the past ten years, G had managed to lose twenty pounds since the spring.

Starting his laps, G didn't use his power on the first set of a thousand meters. It took him about an hour and fifteen minutes, when he knew he should be able to do it in an hour. And, he was pretty sure if he didn't take a break before trying with his power, he'd possibly drown. Or, at least he felt like it. His running times were getting like that as well during his solo morning runs. While before he could stay out for three hours, now he was tired after two, a significant slowing even from where he'd started when they first arrived.

Hauling himself over to the edge, he pulled himself up and sat there to catch his breath, relishing the brief respite from his thoughts the physical exertion brought with it. Even though it was half past eleven by now and his body was just shy of screaming with exhaustion, his mind was still instead of working overtime worrying and making plans. He needed this, needed the physical outlet to help his brain shut down enough he could even nap like he usually did and call it sleep.

Once he'd caught a second wind, G slid back into the water for another thousand meters, this time with his power.

And now, he didn't get in even five hundred meters before he was too tired to do more than pull himself out of the water and lay on the edge of the pool, limbs too heavy to move. Five hundred meters in five minutes. Damn. His time was certainly getting up there. But, should it still be this draining? He felt like he could barely move.

Perhaps this wasn't the time to try figuring it out, though. He'd think it through in the morning. For now, G would just wait until he could move again before going home and laying down, pretending to sleep.