Harvey wished he hadn't said it, the moment he did he wanted to take it back. It was a shameful thing to think and it was so much worse to say. But he'd have been lying if he said he hadn't considered the gun a few times in a way he shouldn't have.
He didn't know how to snap himself out of it.
He heard Mike move, so the hand on his shoulder wasn't totally unexpected and when it moved up and the warmth settled on his neck it was downright welcome. "I'm pretty pathetic," Harvey said with a sad little breath of a laugh.
Mike pressed into him, and Harvey felt like it hurt more, to be held when he was so vulnerable. The emotion in Mike's voice made him feel guilt wash over him in hot waves and he wished he didn't feel like this, that he hadn't thought about it. Harvey wrapped his arm around Mike's slim waist and pulled him into his lap. The weight of Mike grounded him and he pressed his face into his neck, breathing out slowly.
He knew what Mike had been through, losing people and that fear showed in his voice. "You're not alone," Harvey said softly, even though it was made pretty obvious by how Harvey was holding him. He felt totally unworthy of the comfort he was being offered. Mike shouldn't have to be tied down by him and he shouldn't have to feel like he owed Harvey anything but sometimes he thought maybe Mike wanted to be. But they'd drifted away so much he couldn't help drive himself crazy, thinking maybe it was all in his head.