Who: Hephaestus and Hypnos What: Confusion Where: Vadimas Lugosi's exploded mansion When: Early today Warnings: Hypnos. You'll see.
Hephaestus was busy sifting through the remains of his house. He had to wait to rebuild his laboratory until the cops, his insurance, his lawyers, other people's insurance, and other people's lawyers got done traipsing through his life. So, he picked through other areas of the mansion, making sure he hadn't carelessly left anything lying around that would expose him. Hephaestus tried to calm himself before he lapsed into another round of rage at the explosion, but the paper in his handl flared into ash before he managed it. Oops.
A voiced cleared itself. It belonged to a pale, white-blonde-haired man, standing next to a small car with a TV in the back seat. He'd been watching the man curiously. Was Hades sure this was Hephaestus, master crafter, son of Zeus? Eh... maybe.
Hephaestus walked out through the hole in the wall into his front yard. People had been interrupting him all day. This guy definitely had the look of a claims adjuster to him. Hephaestus had quickly learned that quietly paying off any and all claims against him had not made his life any easier. "Can I help you? I'm kind of busy at the moment." No introduction. I don't have time for your name.
"I kind of noticed," replied Hypnos, Greek accent heavy. "Are you..." He looked down to read a piece of paper. "Vadimas?" What a weird name.
What a weird fellow. "I am. My lawyers and insurance companies are handling everything related to the explosion. A number has been set up." What was this man after?
"Explosion?" Oh, right, the not-there-house. "I'm not from your insurance. I come from Dante."
Dante? Hades? Hephaestus felt a rare moment of surprise. This wasn't making sense. "Dante Lot? Robot House was scrapped. Apparently you didn't get the memo." What else was he up to? "Or are you here about his free money giveaway?" That almost made sense, in a way. Hades could be pitching Vadimas a cameo.
Hypnos blinked again. "Um, let me rephrase." He pointed to the TV. "Dante said I should talk to you. This is his wife's TV." He paused, and added quietly, "Um... his ex-wife's TV." Gods, that still stung.
Ex-wife? TV? Hephaestus' head was starting to hurt. He had heard that Dante had unexpectedly split from his wife, who may or may not have been the wife Hephaestus remembered from back in the day. But what did a thrice bedamned TV have to do with it? "So?"
"I was hoping I could borrow your expertise, sir," said Hypnos, calling the forge god sir on reflex. He was a god, yes, but he was also a servant. Respect lingered deep in him. "The TV is on the fritz. I didn't know you were busy."
"I am the head of a multinational consulting firm. Even without explosions, I am always busy. I am not a handyman." He thought for a moment. "Though I know of one you might like." Alana would be the perfect punishment for this jerk. "But I have to ask, why did you come to me? Did Dante ask for me to fix his TV, specifically?" That didn't make sense, either. Damn it! Hephaestus liked when things made sense.
Hypnos shook his head. "The TV is practically new. Others would probably say Dahlia broke it, and I think it would be a waste of money to simply buy a new one. Please, just take a look at it?"
Hephaestus sighed. He needed more information, but he didn't want to be standing on his lawn when he got it. "Ok, fine. But Mr. Lot will hear about this. Come on, I have my tools in a one of the rooms that is still standing." Hephaestus turned and walked back into his house through the ruined wall.
Hypnos smiled! See, Hades, he was trying to be a good man-servant. Turning to the car door, he struggled to get the TV, housed in a box to keep it from getting bashed, and follow after the forge god.
Hephaestus walked through the ruins of his house, weary yet wary of the man following him, trying to be ready for anything. He was armed and ready should some trouble break out. He eventually made it to what used to be his dining room. It was littered with mortal tools and equipment, and a tarp was draped over the table to form a workspace. It was mostly for show, but Hephaestus could fix a simple TV with what was around. Hephaestus turned to face the man, "Just put it on the table, Mr..." Might as well get his name now.
Looking around and seeing that they were alone, he said, "Hypnos." He sat the TV down with a heavy 'thunk'.
Alarm klaxons were going off in Hephaestus' mind, but he tried to play it cool for once. Laughing, he said "That's some name. Is it Greek, by chance?" He had to stop meeting family like this, though there was still a slim chance that this guy was simply very unfortunately named. Hephaestus gripped that slim chance tightly.
Hypnos blinked. Um, duh, son and lover of the Night, father of Dream? Eh... he'd never met Heph until now. Maybe Heph didn't know of him. "Vaguely," he replied, biting back sarcasm.
Hephaestus' eyes narrowed. "How vaguely?" He wasn't quite ready to tip his hand yet, but he was getting closer to throttling the insufferable man.
Eek. Something about his face reminded Hypnos quite a bit of Hades, and it scared him. "[Very,]" he said quietly.
Oh, wonderful. Awesome. Another member of the family. Hypnos, was it? One of Hades' servitors? Hades really would hear of this. Why would he tell one of his errand boys Vadimas' secret? Hephaestus would find out. Soon. "[So I see. And the television? I expect it belongs to his ex-Queen?]" A guess, really, but let's see if Hypnos would confirm it.
The smaller man nodded. "[I'm doing my best for them, in this... well, troubling time.]"
Oh ho. Hephaestus decided to put the man at ease. He smoothed his furrowed brow and sighed. "[Well, at least your heart was in the right place.]" He turned to the TV. Blech, plasma. He was going to have to talk with Texas Instruments and get them to do more to promote DLP TVs. Hephaestus hadn't given them the idea for nothing. He pulled off the back plate to see what was the matter. While he did so, he plied Hypnos for information. "[Times are troubled for the two? I heard they had separated. Is it... messy?]"
The sleep god sighed, the bags under his eyes even heavier than normal. "[Yes, though they seem to be under friendly terms... there is a child on the way as well. It has not been easy.]"
A child? Another one? Hades really was a busy man. Hephaestus plugged in the TV and clicked it on. No wonder it wasn't operating properly, its electrodes were all out of whack, likely due to a faulty power supply. "[But children are a blessing. Even if they are separated, they must still be united in their concern for the child's welfare?]"
A really busy man, especially for a sterile one. "[It is... odd for me. My world surrounded their kingdom. Now that cold kingdom is one of fire and pain, and my king and queen have found others in their lives.]" He sighed a little. "[It is just one of many stresses. But I am trying my best to keep serving them.]"
"[You're dedication is quite admirable, coming out here to ask me, the Forge Lord, to fix a TV. I had to build servants that loyal.]" It was true. The Cyclopes weren't worth a damn. But Hephaestus was just buttering him up for the next question. "[You say they have found others in their lives? I know Hades was with Hestia at one point, but I am unaware of what prospects Persephone may have.]" Juicy gossip, to say the least, and it seems the Olympians still lived trapped in courtly intrigue.
Hypnos found himself blushing at the compliment. "[I don't know of Persephone. She's so secretive lately. But, yes, Hades has found a new woman.]" Wife? They weren't married. Practically, though, but not legally. And Hades was law. Hypnos did his best to disguise his distaste at the words he said. He wanted his king to be happy. But, didn't he also want his king to be happy? He felt... in his heart of hearts... that Hades would not have these problems if he had simply waited for his wife to return.
"[And that woman is Hestia, right? I can't stand the suspense.]" Hephaestus didn't care. He was more interested in Persephone being secretive. That was odd. When had any Olympian, ever, tried to hide a relationship? Especially a legitimate one. What was she hiding? The Olympians did have their enemies. "[I would so hate to put the wrong names on the invites to my next fundraiser.]" Hephaestus kept up the pretext. Meanwhile, he looked over the power supply. He could fix it, but he had a sneakier idea. He pulled the power supply from the TV. "[Here's your problem, blown power supply. I have a suitable replacement around here, somewhere.]" That and a cache of spare spy equipment.
Le sigh. "[That woman is Hestia. The hearth virgin and the death king. Go figure, as Americans say.]" The sleep god shrugged sleepily, leaning against something in case he suddenly fell unconscious, and listened to the techno babble as though he understood. "[All right. What can I do to fix it?]"
"[Hades does have a certain way with the ladies,]" Hephaestus said with a smile. That smile slipped, however, at Hypnos' last question. "[You? Nothing. You would have to buy a new TV. But, as I said, I can simply replace it and the TV will be good as new.]" Hephaestus moved to a corner to the room and scooped up the appropriate power supply. And a miniature video camera. And an ultrasensitive microphone. The camera had been too large to fit in the Cat Scanner, but it was perfect for this application. It even had thermographic, ultraviolet, and night vision. The microphone would pick up a whisper from across the room, and could pick up frequencies beyond the range of human hearing. It would have fit in the Cat Scanner, but he didn't want to hear all of Zeus' noises. The beautiful part was that he could power it all with the power supply, though he did include a back up battery, and he could relay the information to himself through the power wires, meaning there would be no signals to detect. Perfect. As he worked on the TV, he continued peppering Hypnos with conversation. "[I do hope that Hestia and the children are well. Hestia has always been nice to me, if a little insistent.]" By which he meant crazy.
"[I have met her a few times. She is a sweetheart, as always,]" replied Hypnos. "[Thank you so much for fixing the queen's TV. I'm completely inept in technology today... Heh.]"
He paused to look around at the charred area around them. "[May I ask, what happened here?]"
"[No, you may not,]" Hephaestus replied sharply. "[Suffice it to say that I was caught unawares at a crucial moment.]" The circumstances of the explosion were a closely guarded secret, and Hypnos did not seem good with secrets. "[But, it is just a house. Nothing of value has been lost, and I have time enough to rebuild.]" However long that would take.
Eek. Hypnos shrunk back and accepted that as just that. "[Ahh. Seems I'm not the only one without a home, then. Best of luck in repairing it.]"
Hephaestus wondered if he should tell Hypnos how many other homes he owned. Nah, that would just be cruel. "['Without a home'? Don't you live with Hades? Or Persephone, considering you have her TV?]" Hephaestus was mildly curious. Hypnos was a very odd little man.
"[At the moment, yes. My brother is always busy, with his differing jobs, but I can't seem to quite hold one down. I have...]" He tried to think of the English word for it, but it evaded him. "[A sleeping sickness.]" He mimed falling down, then sleeping. "[I don't enjoy bothering them for rooms when I could have my own. I'm supposed to be their right hand, not a burden.]"
The line of reasoning didn't make much sense to Hephaestus, but then again, nothing about Hypnos had so far. "[I keep my 'right hands' very close to me, and they are not burdens.]" But they are robots. "[Besides, I'm sure Hades is much like myself. Big, empty house that he spends long periods away from on business. A house that often goes unattended in his absence. Ah, there, the TV is as good as new.]" And it was. Better than new, in fact, thanks to Hephaestus' secret additions.
"[He lives in a little, full house now,]" Hypnos pointed out. Mistress and all, remember? He looked the TV over, but didn't see how it was different. Ah well. "[Who lives with you, then?]" Surely not Cyclopes...
"[Ah, well, with the Hearth Virgin sharing his bed and children to look after, I suppose his house would be a full, cozy place.]" No wonder he is able to put up with her. "[As a point of fact, no one technically lives with me.]" Hephaestus stood patiently, expecting Hypnos to pick up his TV and leave at any moment.
Ahh. Seeming to catch the hint, Hypnos grunted as he picked up the TV again. Gods, heavy. "[Th-thank you, again.]"
Hephaestus reached over and took the TV from the man before he dropped it. It seemed superhuman attributes weren't universal amongst the displaced deities. "[I'll just walk this out to your car. It will be a lot easier on my nerves.]" Hephaestus had, perhaps, never met someone who so perfectly fit the word hapless.
Hypnos chuckled. "[Probably safer!]" So he lead him out to the little car that Hypnos had managed to nab for himself. It was a piece of crap. But it got him from Place A to Place B!
Settling the TV in the back seat of the car, Hephaestus stood and looked over his work. "There you go, you should be all set to bring this back to your mistress. Next time you want to stop by, though, call me first. We can avoid more misunderstandings." And Hephaestus could, hopefully, avoid him.
The Cthonian god nodded and smiled sleepily to him, making a small bow. "My apologies. And, thank you. [Good luck.]" With that, he walked around and got into the car, starting it and driving away after giving Heph a wave goodbye.
"[Good luck to you, too, moron,]" Hephaestus muttered under his breath as he waved to the rapidly disappearing vehicle.
Summary: Hypnos shows up out of the blue at Hephaestus' exploded mansion and asks Hephaestus to fix a TV. Hephaestus fights off a headache and the urge to strangle Hypnos. He fixes the TV, but not without getting some interesting information from the oblivious narcoleptic.