Hestia (heart_h) wrote in olympian_rewind, @ 2010-05-03 12:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | dante lot, hades, hestia, tessia sloac |
Who: Hestia and Hades
What: Recovering
Where: Hades' home
When: Immediately after the last Hestia/Hera/Mel scene
Warnings: None
Hestia felt completely snuffed out.
Why? She hadn't expected to come in, fix all of Hera's problems and it'd all be sunshine again. But... something about the conversation had been crushing. Seeing her sister so deep in her own misery, perhaps the very presence of Tragedy herself, chilled the hearth goddess to her core. Melpomene had done something to her, of that she was sure, but she couldn't find it in her heart to be upset. She was what she was. So she dredged down the stairs and into the living room when a sound made her jump. It took her a moment to realize it had started to rain a little outside.
She looked down to her hands; they were shaking like leaves. The veil of surreality was beginning to lift, and she felt like the world was crashing in again.
Her brother was dead. Not just a god, but... the king. Yes, so many would argue that he had no such role over them anymore, but that's what he was. What he was born to be. She had come to love and respect him as an equal now, but it had always been present in her mind. It had made him... different. The idea that he could be dead had occurred to her in decades past before Miami, sure, but being faced with it was so... so...
She covered her mouth to muffle a sob. Nothing was right. None of this. The goddess swallowed down her feelings and looked around for Hades. Hopefully, this wouldn't end with her bursting into tears. ... Hopefully.
His children were asleep and with Hestia under the same roof, he didn't feel right spending his time with Persephone. It felt like wrong. It felt cruel with Hera mourning under the same roof, but with Hestia there as well it was all too much. Hades had drawn away from her, excusing himself, finding a moment alone in solitude to sought out his thoughts.
It was indeed raining. Sitting on the window sill of the patio window, he leaned and reached one hand out passed the patio overhang to feel the cool water touch and then drip off his hands. He dared down leave the house. He dared not depart from under the same roof from Melpomene, not until it was safe. Irrationally perhaps, but he believe it would bring good luck and keep the terrible hand of ill-fortune away until they did part. He didn't need that crushing presence to be with him right now. But he also wanted to smoke; the window sill was a good compromise.
With a deep inhale of his cigarette, he stared out into the night, lost in his own brooding thoughts.
He was too deep in those thoughts to remember that he hated being alone with his thoughts.
Hestia found him after a few minutes of searching. She dried off her face with a shirt sleeve before approaching him, doing her best not to surprise him. "Hey..."
Hades blinked at the sound of her voice, mentally drawing back from his own thoughts and exhaled a breath in the form of a perfect smoke ring. There was something off in her voice. Like she had been crying. She had probably been crying. He wished he hadn't heard her cry enough to be able to pick that up, but not turning to her, he replied, "Hey."
She smiled and stepped closer to sit across from him. After a moment of staring off into the world, she asked quietly, "Do you have any more of those?"
He felt the heat of her body before he caught sight of her sitting with him on the sill. Nodding a little, he pulled the pack out of his pocket and popped another cancer stick out. "Guess shouldn't be surprised you want one, but why? Because you like them or for the dramatic atmosphere?"
Hestia laughed dryly. "I have my vices. They're comforting... Remind me of the offerings made for me." She took it and held the tip in her palm. Her skin quickly illuminated with a bubbly tiny flame, and it was gone as quickly as she made it as she closed her fingers to kill it, leaving them in the dark again while she took a long drag.
"Used to smoke these mint clove fa... cigarettes, partly because they're were trendy and partly because I liked them. Now I can't." Hades shook his head and pulled his knees to his chest tightly to rest his head against them a bit. "Just as well, these are easier to get and don't force me to shop in the same stores as emo teens."
The goddess giggled at the mental image of her brother being forced to stand in line with a bunch of punks and skateboard kids. "Aww." She reached over to give his hair a ruffle. "They're good. I'll have to get some for myself, I think." She paused, her mood dampened a bit by a stray thought she voiced, "They're good for... sad times like these. Lets you take some of the stress away. For a little while."
She would have a better laugh if she ever found photos of him from the 1980s when he was deep in the punk movement. Hades flinched back for a second at her ruffling his hair but held still, catching himself. He nodded a little against his knees as he settled back again, catching both the change in the tone of her voice and the subtle change in her expression, "That's why I have them. To pretend to numb anything... Guess things went swimmingly in there then?"
"... I don't know. I think she had a bit of a breakthrough. She yelled at me, without really yelling. I..." Hestia sighed. "She honestly thinks she's worthless now. I can't believe it. She's so... so proud, and... I don't know what to do. I just want to scoop her up and take her home, and make everything better. I know I can't but..." She shook her head and drew on the cigarette again. "I don't know how to comfort her. I just... don't. I'm terrified that something's going to happen to her if we don't do anything, but at the same time, she needs her time to grieve. I just wish I felt I knew what I was doing."
Hades would have smirked if he hadn't been taking a drag of the cigarette at the time. He might have even laughed if he had been in the mood to do so. But now wasn't the time for dark laughter for even darker jokes ironically funny only to him. "Just be there for her. Allow her her pain and be there. You can do that..." He shifted his attention to look at her now, "Did you tell her to move on with her life and everything would get better eventually?"
"No! Well, not like that!" Hestia's face turned red with shame. "Just that... there was a reason to at least hope. That she isn't as useless as she keeps saying she is! Because she's not!" retorted the goddess defensively. "I told her exactly what I think. That she's loved and will always have an importance!"
"Yeah, told her something like that, too. Guess we all respond the same when hit with grief-shock." Hades sighed a little at the realization and then again as he realized his cigarette had been smoked far too low. He put it out between his fingers and flicked it out in the yard. "Hope is so distant for her. She won't believe it until it hits her in the face but I made the same mistake telling her it... Why don't you take her home?"
Hestia blinked. She had not expected that, maybe more of a stern talking to about how to counsel the grieving. The dead and their related were so much more his territory than her... "Home? To mine, or hers? I don't think she wants to go... she seemed extremely absorbed up there. Is... is it safe to leave her with Melpomene?"
"Melpomene will keep her from repressing and trust me, repressing is bad. I know. Am king of repression." Possibly literally. Hades kept his dark eyes locked on her, staring intently at her. He was counseling her, just subtly. "Yours. Never hers. That isn't her home anymore."s
For a moment, Hestia went pale as a sheet. No home. The idea was as dangerous for her to think of as having no head. Or no soul. "I fear I'm not capable of taking care of her," she admitted quietly.
"You tried to take care of me..." he replied softly.
She winced. They had all seen how that went. But... "You think it would be best? I don't know how that would help in the long term. She needs... she needs a spouse. She can't live without a marriage no more than I can live without my house, or you without the Underworld. Alive, perhaps, but not truly."
"Too bad you two just don't get married then. You both win..." Hades muttered a little and then leaned back against the wall behind him as he pulled out another cigarette. He reached for his lighter and then stopped, holding the cigarette out to his sister, "Learned nothing from your time with me? Now that you're away from the eye of my storm."
"Married? Why, that's just--"
Hestia froze. "Wait. That's..." Oh gods. "That's not a half bad idea. But... she... I..." The goddess had to pause and think. This was not something she had even remotely considered.
Hades hadn't said it as a serious suggestion but he kept his expression neutral, aided by the fact his cigarette wasn't lit. Well, fine then. He pulled out the lighter and lit it himself. "Don't rush. Whatever you do. Don't rush her away simply grieving and being in pain. Don't rush into marriage. Don't rush."'
"O-of course! I mean, that's a big thing. But... you're right. She does not want someone who will die, there are few unmarried men outside of the family, much less anyone she could trust as she did Zeus... for whatever reason... And she can't go back to her own home." And though Hestia would not voice it, both siblings knew that Hestia benefited. Her home had been empty in a crucial way since Hades had been sent away. And the heart of every home was a stable family; hearth goddess though she was, she could not support a house' happiness herself. Homes needed people.
Her stumbling brought back the desire to smirk but once again it was held at bay by his need to inhale the smoke of the cigarette deep into his lungs. He didn't even know what he found so amusing this time.... Hades decided he was clearly just exhausted and with a heavy exhale he nodded. "Right now, it doesn't matter what she wants. All she wants right now is to close her eyes and either wake up from this nightmare or not to wake up at all. What she needs is someone that can hold when she breaks, believe her when she says she's strong and then push her when her chance for hope comes and she doesn't see it." The words made Hades close his eyes. He remembered being pushed. It was months later did he understand the pivotal moment in his two deep despairs in Miami.
"..." Hestia did not reply for some time. It... made sense. Again, Hades was the expert, not she. She felt some doubts, but she knew that her brother loved Hera deeply and would only want the best, and she more than trusted his steadfast opinion. It would be tough, she was sure of that. But... she couldn't simply leave Hera to languish.
"How soon?"
"How soon what?"
"Do you think I should offer? No, you said to push. How soon should I tell her?"
Hades kept his eyes shut. Hestia's question had been shocking and yet expected all at the same time and caught between the two, all he could do was sit still for a beat. A thought flashed across his mind as he did so, his judging instincts all on alert even in the exhaustion he was sure he was enduring, "Will explain what I meant by 'pushing' in one second, [Wordless One], but you're really excited about this idea, aren't you?"
"I want my sister to be happy," she said firmly. "She deserves it, if ever there was a wife and woman who did. And I don't think she can be happy so long as she is alone. If it'll put her back on the path to being well again, I'll do anything."
That certainly sounded like Hestia. Hades took another drag from the cigarette and exhaled the smoke out into the rain, watching as the rain cut through the small puff, "What about you?"
"I'm happiest helping others," she said with a shrug. Her cigarette was dead, and she crumbled the little butt in her palm without care. "If she chooses to leave later, then I wish her the best." And... she had been selfish in the past. It had not gotten her what she wanted. No, she would forget that, she decided. It was not her nature or role. There was simplicity and joy to be found in serving, after all.
"That would be a bit more than just helping others. Marriage isn't simple." Hades had found marriage to be an endless struggle, where everyday one woke up and tried to be more than perfect. If perfection could be reached, then everything would be okay... but it was never reached. It was never enough and then there was the crushing defeat. The defeat always came. He took another deep inhale, holding the smoke in his lungs until he couldn't anymore. He hoped his own third try at marriage would be different. "It's good you have it on the table. For now, not completely certain she would hear you or believe you. If she's anything like me, she might refuse you right now, not accepting your pity because that's what it is right now." He then turned his eyes back to her. In the dim spark of the lit cigarette, they glimmered unnaturally as he sat in the looming darkness of the stormy night. "But that isn't what I meant by push. You push when the time comes and there's suddenly a crossroads. She won't see it. She won't be able to. But suddenly there will be a moment where things will either remain the same soul-crushing same or shift to a chance for numbness. You did it once for me... D did it the second time."
Even mentioning it made him close his eyes again. What terrible times in his life. The whole solitude of the Underworld all those years had been more tolerable than those months... He shivered a little and then pushed away the thought. "Don't know when. Don't know how long after she would even resemble being a little better for it either but I know its possible. Also know that I can't help her with it. Too much too blame for me to be able to... You, on the other hand,..."
Hestia listened silently, and remained so until she was sure he was done speaking. Reaching over for his hand, she took it gently in his. "It'll work out," she said simply. "I'm sure of it."
"You're an optimist,[Sister]. Stopped being one of those a long time ago." Still, he didn't move his hand from hers. Part of his mind would always be wired to accept her touch in Innocent ways and he saw no reason thus to move. "If you do marry her, you could also add that since you're the mother of two princes, you're technically a regent in waiting. That would make her one, too. That's pretty close to a queen." He gave a squeeze to her hand. "Personally, don't buy into any of that nonsense anymore but if it helps."
She chuckled. "Me neither. But I think you're right, she'll feel better about it. They mean more to her than either of us, and probably for good reason."
Hades released her hand. "Are you going to try to take her home with you?"
Hestia shook her head. "Not tonight. I think she's had enough of me today. Maybe... I'll ask later in the week. See how she reacts."
"Probably for the best. Let more of the grief-shock wear off and let her settle into quiet despair." Hades truthfully meant what he said. There was no sarcasm in his words no matter how terrible they sounded. But then his voice hushed, which only made what he was about to say worse in tone to hear, "You know she will never stop hurting, yes? It will never go away, even if you two get married and seem happy. The pain will always be there."
"I can never replace Zeus. Gods, I do not want to," Hestia sighed. A sudden surge of emotion at the mention of their brother's name made her pause to collect herself. Fates help her, her chest felt like it would rot. "I don't expect this to be a fantasy thing like... We'll simply have to see where it goes. But I will never try to fill his shoes, or to pretend any of this never happened. It wouldn't be fair to him or her."
He nodded a little. He didn't believe she completely understood but it was difficult to understand that sometimes wounds never fully healed. "Just know that it is not your fault when her pain bubbles up. And please..." Hades rarely even implied begging but he did now. His memories of his drug addiction were fractured and suspect but he remembered well enough and the time before them. Those he remembered too well. "When and if it does, focus on her and don't relate it back to you. Let her talk, let her brood, let her rail, but just be there. Let it be about her until she doesn't want it to be anymore. Don't turn it back to you. It isn't your fault and mentioning your own pain will not help."
Hestia nodded. A thought flickered across her mind, and she had to laugh a little at it. "You were a good teacher," she said jokingly. "At, ah, many things."
Hades managed to laugh a little. It wasn't much of one, but it was enough to be considered laughter. "You owe your niece cupcakes. Her being under this roof with me is probably the only reason you're in a good mood now from talking to me. Am much better usually at making people cry and making them feel worse."
"Oh, I think I may need to make a castle full of cupcakes by the time this is all over..."
Any hint of a smile disappeared from Hades at that and he brought his attention back to the looming darkness of the evening outside, "It will never be over. At least not for her."
"That's not what I meant," she retorted. "Come on. It's getting so late. I think it's time for me to go home... I need a long sleep." She paused as she stood and considered. "Would you like to take the boys for the night?"
"Good, because it won't be. Ever." Hades reached out and pulled back the window and shut it tight before standing up from his window sill seat as well. "Always want to take the boys for the night. That is never the question. The question is, 'Can you?' And tonight it's yes. They're already asleep anyway. They would not be pleased to be woken up."
She nodded. "About what I thought." That, and she hoped it would help ease Hades' worries a bit if he got to see them in the morning; an early morning starter-upper so to speak. "Thank you for letting me talk to you. It always helps."
"You are tired. Now you're just saying crazy things," Hades meant it as a joke, at least partly, as he eased closer to her and placed a kiss to her cheek. "Good night, [Wordless One]. Drive home safely."
The older sister laughed and returned the kiss with one to his forehead. "Rest well. I'll pick up the boys around lunch. Good night, [brother]."
Summary: Hestia, not surprised but still disappointed by her speaking with Hera, seeks advice from Hades and the two come up with a plan.