Who: Nick What: Sorting things out When: After the Mel/Nick fight Where: Nick's stables Warnings: Emo, both past and present! \:D/
Nick left without knowing where the hell he was going. Part of him just wanted to go to the beach but that was too crowded. Another part wanted to go get a drink or something but there would be no one to drive him home if he got smashed. An even weirder part of him wanted to go to the church he and his father had always gone to, but that was another place he didn't feel welcome in anymore.
Instead, he went to the stables. His stables, now. The pronoun of 'his' was different now, too... they weren't a gift from his father, they were completely his. It was both comforting and daunting.
Mercury's Pride whinnied when he saw the young man approach. Nick had been neglecting his duties to his animals a little since Helen was born, letting the stablehands exercise them instead. It wasn't quite the same, though, and Nick smiled when he saw that the horse hadn't forgotten him. "Hey, bud." He gave the horse a pat on the neck and saddled him up.
The field was a little wet from earlier rain but Nick was used to that. What he didn't like were the looks of the clouds overhead. Lightning was a dangerous thing. Riding a horse in the rain was even more of a risk for that. Eh. Nudging his heels into Merc's sides, he took off at a walk, then a trot. He tried to focus on the moves he and Merc had both trained in; part of the deal of breeding horses meant people had to see them, meaning that soon he would have to go back to the dressage and jumping events for the publicity of the ranch. He didn't like the idea of that taking him away from Mel and Helen.
Mel... His eyes misted over slightly. He'd fucked up there. Thinking on what he said and did, he winced in regret. She thought she could change him. Why couldn't she see that he had, for her? Defended her against family members who wanted a wholesome Greek girl (if they only knew), against the people who'd supported Aunt Toula in her outrageous claims, against her own self when she claimed he should find someone else. Because he loved her... not because he had to.
Which only made him think of Hades, and that wiped the sad look right off his face, replacing it with one of disgust. The god was childish. He claimed to be a king, a master, a ruler. Of what? One little human slave? If Nick was truly as bad as he and Mel claimed, Nick would have told him he was a failure of a king, a husband, of a god months ago. But one look at Helen's trusting face and he could forget about that. The boy wasn't as self-serving as everyone seemed to think.
Yes, maybe he did want to repair that relationship, though he didn't even quite know what he'd done to damage it in the first place. A small part of him feared he was caught between a different relationship -- did Hades strike out at him not out of annoyance but because of his closeness to his niece? Did Mel only want him to comply with the Rich One so Hades would be happy? Maybe...
Nick caught his breath and shook his head, nudging Merc into a lope. That couldn't be true. Couldn't. Mel... Melpomene loved Nicodemus.
She's loved other mortals before you, whispered a nasty, cold voice in his head. How many? She's never said. She's had other children as well. What are mortals to god, but little ways to pass the time? You know that better than anyone!
"S'not true..." he whispered to himself. The wind was whipping in his face enough to make his eyes water. He was only vaguely aware of Merc's hard breathing. "She..."
Loves you? Who said. She said. But who else said they loved you? He didn't stick around long, did he?"
Nick took in a sharp breath. Poseidon.
The sea god said he would always love you. Always have need of you. Always keep you. But what were you in the end? the sneering whisper asked. His slave. Yes, his, too. And when the political tide turned against you, he dumped you like a sack of kittens. Remember what he said when you needed his help?
He did... it was fuzzy, like an old-style movie, but in perfect color. Nick closed his eyes and remembered.
The morning before the race. Pelops was nervous. Not of his skills, he had perfect confidence in his. But the man he was going up against was also skilled, and older and stronger to boot. Pelops' years on Olympus, drinking ambrosia and eating holy food, would always leave a mark on him; even as the years had passed and he had grown from teen to man, he still looked far younger than his years. His first beard had only just now come in, and his skin was still smooth and pale. The only thing paler was the marble shoulder connecting his arm to his body, shockingly white in the growing sunlight and engraved with a near picture-perfect portrait of Olympus.
He stepped into the cold waters of the sea and let it lap onto his toes. He didn't shiver at the feel; it was like coming home, to him. Closing his eyes, he prayed. "Hear me O Poseidon, the Earth Shaker, the Tide Mover, lord of the sea and all its bounties. Hear my prayer and speak unto me. Grant my request..." Waiting for a moment, he pulled out a sack from his belt. It was small, but it would do for a tribute -- horse hair from his finest steed, sea shells that danced with color in the morning sun, and the freshest fish he could find from the market that hadn't been crawling in parasites. Murmuring the prayer again, he tossed it into the waves. And waited.
Eventually, he saw him. Tall, dark, fear-inspiring, Poseidon approached the young boy-man. "You should not have summoned me," the immortal said quietly, eyes narrowing.
"I had to. I'm going to lose the race tomorrow, and with it, my life and bride."
The sea-god snorted. "Of what matter is that to me? You are no longer mine."
Pelops had to bite hard on his tongue to push back any emotion the statement brought. "I only request aid for this race. With it, I will gain a kingdom for the one my treacherous father built has been destroyed and divided amongst his neighbors. I have no living relatives to help me, no mortal friends. Please, lover..."
Poseidon waved the title away with a hand. "You have no right any longer to call me that. I will aid you. Not out of love for you, though," he added when the prince's face brightened. "I will do it only out of memory for what you once were to me."
Pelops tried to smile for him. Yes, he was saying that he had in fact loved him at least a little. All those years of obedience, pleasure, years lost to him because he had dedicated it to the sea god. But resentment for his lack of defense when Zeus had exiled him still burned in his heart.
It always would.
"You were my favorite plaything." If seeing Pelops' hopes fall hurt him any, Poseidon hit it very well. "Such a shame you grew... you were better as a youth. Come back to this spot an hour before the race begins. Waiting for you will be a chariot and steeds. They will carry you as you wish."
Pelops nodded and bowed before the immortal. "Thank you. Your wish is my--"
The god stepped back into the water, not even glancing back as he disappeared back among the water. The mortal watched him go, knowing somehow it would be the last time they spoke.
A sharp squeal brought Nick out of his memories. Opening his eyes, he realized with a start that Merc was ina full-blown gallop, and without a master to stop him, and run into the woods, narrowly missing tree after tree. The only thing that had made him stop was an alligator. The immense reptile, seeing the horse, threw up its head at it just before Merc stepped on it, hissing loudly enough to spook the horse.
"Whoa, whoa!" He yanked back on the reins and turned Merc around. Thank the stars, the alligator was content enough to let them leave and sink back into the water. Only once they were safe back in the trimmed grass fields did Nick stop and dismount. Merc was shivering from the fear still and Nick did his best to comfort him, taking off the saddle and bridle to let him relax in the pasture a bit, and putting those in the barn.
His chest hurt. He put a hand over the spot and squeezed, trying to make it go away, but it only got worse. It wasn't in the flesh, though, he knew that. It was deeper. Even old memories could sting.
Poseidon had been the first. Someone Nick... Pelops... had thought would want him near him forever. He'd given up his family, his heart, his body to please the god and it hadn't been enough. What if Mel was the same? Was she only just realizing now he wasn't worth being around? Sooner or later, he would die. Aiolos men never lived long anyway. And Helen, yes, would be saved from his curse... but she was only mortal, too. She would die. Melpomene would move on. Find another mortal who loved her laugh, loved to lose himself in her scent, give her massages in the tub, hold her close, give her crappy paintings...
His eyes watered to his shame. And what would come after that? An eternity of slavery for him. For a love that suddenly didn't seem strong enough to last, and a child that he was sure wasn't going to be home when he returned. If Mel wanted him to at all.
Looking up towards the small mansion, he sighed. He would have to try, sooner or later... and it was probably better he try sooner. He would give Mel the night, so they could both cool down. And then he'd call her.
Summary: Nick muses on memories and feelings while away from home.