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[15 May 2008|07:59pm] |
Angel: what are you doing now.
Claudie: reading little_details on lj, watching something on the tv and waiting for the television to boil
Claudie: the kettle to boil*
Angel: HAHAHA
Angel: let me know when the tv is done
Claudie: why, do you fancy a cup of drama?
Claudie: Maybe a soap to wash your mouth out with?
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[15 May 2008|08:04pm] |
Angel: she likes to moke
Angel: moke?
Angel: I have your disease!
Claudie: LMAO
Angel: You're making a mokery of me
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[15 May 2008|08:06pm] |
Claudie: I'm facepalming myself.
Katy: Oh?
Claudie: I spent a good few minutes trying to figure out why I couldn't do the 's' on the keyboard backwards.
Katy: ....... oh?
Claudie: I'm like...surely I just press it backwards....
Katy: ..... press it backwards?!?!?!
I thought trying to find the delete on my notepad was bad enough.
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[15 May 2008|08:10pm] |
I went into mums room because I heard Obi crying. Basically, he just wanted attention. So when I'm sitting there, this thing comes on and it looks like Bill Nighy.
Me: Is that Bill Nighy?
Mum: Yeah, that's what they all look like now.
Me: ....but is it Bill Nighy?
Mum: Yes, that's him old!
Finally understanding it.
Me: Mum, I meant is that Bill Nighy the actor, not is that what Bill looks like now.
Mum: ....oh.
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[15 May 2008|08:12pm] |
My mum: What is it you're going to see?
Uncle Derek: Fantastic Four
My mum: Like the Enid Blyton books?
Me: No, like the comic.
My mum: Never heard of it.
Me: You know, The Thing, The Invisible Woman, Mr. Fantastic...
Uncle Derek: The fire guy!
Me: Yeah, the Human Torch.
Mum looks at me blankly.
Me: Johnny Storm? Mum, me and Dad had a whole conversation right in front of you when the first one came out. This one is the Rise of the Silver Surfer....which you probably don't know who that is either.
Mum: Oh! This guy on the CB! His handle was the Silver Surfer.
Me: ....no, mum, he's a comic book character.
Mum: Well, who was the bad guy in it?
Me: Dr. Doom
Mum: You mean that guy who talks to animals?
At this point, I had to leave the room, I was laughing too hard.
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[15 May 2008|08:16pm] |
Oh, mother.
We just found out my parents friend Chris, who lives in Canada, got arrested and has been sentenced to a month in jail for assaulting his brother. On the bright side, he got my mothers card today, which had a CD for Christmas in it.The first lines of the first song?
By a lonely prison wall.
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[15 May 2008|08:17pm] |
Mum: Hang on and I'll get you the vibrator.
- replying in front of everyone, at the dinner table, when I asked about the dessert which was the icecream Vienetta.
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[15 May 2008|08:19pm] |
Mum: Oh, I'm going to give you a good shagging!
Me: You're going to do the cat?
Mum: No, pet him!
Me: That's scragging, Mum.
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[15 May 2008|08:22pm] |
RADIO DUDE: Who was the famous scottish poet who did Auld Lang Syne?
MUM: Billy Connelly?
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[15 May 2008|08:23pm] |
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Mum: I don't know, some babies look awfully young when they're born.
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[15 May 2008|08:24pm] |
She works on a bus escorting special needs kids and the driver was supposed to pick her up, but there are different drivers and some pick her up at the end of the road, others pick her up at the door. So this gem happens...
Mum: I've texted Jerry but he hasn't gotten back to me!
Me: So ring him?
Mum: I've tried but it's not working!
Me: Is it a mobile?
Mum: No, it's a wierd number.
Me: Wierd numbers sometimes work. Have you tried?
-she tries-
Mum: It's still not working!
Me: -sighs- Okay, well, does it have an 07 at the front?
Mum: No, it has this wierd number, 447 something! What kind of number is that?!
Me: .....it's the country code Mum...+44 is the UK....
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[15 May 2008|08:26pm] |
My mum has a rape alarm that's shaped like a mouse. Every morning she get's the 10.30 bus into town and knows a few people on it. So, as usual, she can't find her bus pass and in the process, sets off the rape alarm. Problem is, she can't remember how to turn it off. So it's screeching, the people she knows are dying of laughter, the others and grumbling, the driver is refusing to leave because it's so loud his hands are over his ears and nothing is turning this thing off. So she goes "There's only one thing for it!" and tosses it, still squealing, into the hedge by the bus stop and the bus goes.
She get's the 12:00 bus home and asks my dad to meet her because she has heavy bags. My dad can hear the bloody alarm half way down the street! It's still going off, loud as ever! He finds it in the hedge, pushes the tail in and it silences and he hands it back to Mum.
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[15 May 2008|08:30pm] |
Katy: "Yeah?" She asked, smilin.
Katy: *smiling
Claudie: shes country now?
Katy: Shut up!
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[15 May 2008|08:33pm] |
Katy: It's why I took my shite shirt off.
Katy: *white - because I make the most amusing typos
Claudie: LOL! That was brilliant
Katy: I know. So silly of me
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[15 May 2008|08:35pm] |
Claudie: "Sky," He fgtins.
Claudie: typo twat!
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[15 May 2008|08:36pm] |
Claudie: You sound hyped.
Katy: new smeelies make me happy
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[15 May 2008|08:39pm] |
Katy: yay!
Claudie: yip!
Claudie: tup* even
Claudie: yup*
Katy: Lol!
Claudie: *facepalm*
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[15 May 2008|08:42pm] |
Claudie: I will but I have to go in a sex first
Katy: ....
Claudie: sec*
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