Don't think I haven't noticed! Okay grab a pen and paper I've got a list that will also be typed up and put on the fridge.
1.)He get's lonely so I'll have to bring him to you or you have to come over here daily to visit with him. If you like you can just stay here which would be awesome since he'd enjoy the company.
By the way if you do end up staying over do not,I repeat, do not open the third drawer on my nightstand...or do whatever it's your mental health.
2.)I don't think you'll run out of food but in the event something happens he eats pellets only. And the dried blood worms are a treat for Friday nights only. And variety there are frozen cubes of blood worms in the freezer and you can feed him with your hand as long as you wash your hands first.
3.)He likes Antique Roadshow and staring contests.
4.)If he get's depressed take him for a walk in the red wagon. It's very important that it's red not blue. Blue is for the vet. He knows.
Which brings me to a very important and serious point. *serious face*
5.)In the event something goes horribly wrong and there is nothing we can do. Put him in a baggy of water and put him in the freezer. That's how he wants to go. Quietly. I will bury him when I get home. I have a chart of all possible fish illnesses and what they look like.
So that's about it. I have a glow in the dark ghost night light for him to set by his tank and he's not due for another water change until after we get back. Oh an y'know water the plants get the mail, and keep an eye on District X when you're in the neighborhood.