Most people start with the resume and, if they want to finish with a bang, throw out the hacking and drunk thing when they quit.
Luckily for you, it's this kind of outside the box thinking that Stark Enterprises claims they love. Personally, I'm more into the ass kissing type. Which brings us to: never, ever call asking connections 'desperate'. When you don't have connections, that's desperate. When you'd rather bitch on Twitter, that's another kind of desperate. Look at you, manning up.
Because I don't know what I may have texted, would inviting you to bring your resume directly to Miss Potts waive all sexual harassment charges?