tamara lawson. (herworstenemy) wrote in ofourowndevice, @ 2013-05-02 01:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | #solo, 07-03-13, tamara |
it all crept up on you, in the night it got you and plagued your mind, it plagues your mind.
Who: Tamara.
Where: Hedge Maze.
When: Early morning.
Ever since her encounter with Seth she hadn't been able to sleep properly. He hadn't hurt her but he had scared her and she hadn't been able to shake that feeling since. Even drinking hadn't helped chase the feeling away so she'd decided to take a walk and try and clear her head in the early morning sun. Tamara hadn't even bothered trying to get the front desk to keep calling the mechanic yesterday to get out to her car because she'd just been too shaken up by what had taken place in her room when Seth had drunkenly knocked on her door and asked to come in. She was still kicking herself for letting him in, she knew better than that, she never would have done it at home so she shouldn't have done it here but she had. She still couldn't explain why she had done it, she kept playing it over in her head trying to work out what it was that had made her think it was a good idea to invite a perfect stranger into her hotel room at five in the morning but no matter how many times she went over it she couldn't figure it out.
Tamara hadn't been paying attention to where she was walking, she had let herself get lost in her thoughts and not kept track of where her feet were leading her as she wandered around outside. She stopped in front of a hedge and looked up, she was stood right at the entrance to the hotel's hedge maze, she hadn't realised that she'd walked so far. The shade the hedge maze offered was cool and inviting, it was still early but the sun was already baking everything in the desert, Tamara included. She took a step in and felt the cool air wrap around her. She started walking and before too long found herself deep within the maze. The height of the hedge around her meant that she couldn't see anything apart from the path in front and behind her and the clear blue sky up above. She kept walking, taking turns left and right but no matter which way she went it all looked the same. She was lost.
The further she walked the more lost she felt. She couldn't get out. She was trapped with no way out. It felt like the walls were closing in on her. Tamara tried to keep her breathing slow and steady but the more she walked the worse the feeling of panic got. She started to run, turning corners and trying to find her way out of the maze. She didn't know she was going the wrong way, she'd gotten turned around and was heading deeper into the maze. She was beginning to panic now, not being able to find her way was making her feel trapped and she needed to get out. She took a left turn and found herself in the middle of the maze, she knew it was the middle because the space in front of her was open and somehow inviting. She stepped out into the middle of the space and looked around, there were several openings in the hedge around her, all of them going to different parts of the maze but all leading here. She ran a hand through her hair tucking loose strands behind her ear as she did. That feeling of being trapped was still there, she had nowhere to go and suddenly she realised that feeling wasn't just because of the maze. She couldn't leave the hotel.
Her eyes widened slightly as that realisation sank in. It didn't make any sense. It was a hotel in the middle of the desert if she wanted to leave all she had to do was walk out the door and down the drive until she got to the highway and then find a ride away from here but she somehow knew that she couldn't do that. She was stuck here and there was nothing she could do to change that. With that thought she felt like the walls of the maze were closing in again, the space that had felt so open and inviting suddenly felt claustrophobic. She struggled to keep her breathing normal and failed, she started to hyperventilate, and she started to feel dizzy she knew she needed to get out of the maze, fast.
Her fear drove her forward, her limbs almost numb as she practically ran towards what she hoped was an exit. She felt sick to her stomach and just tried to focus on not falling over her own feet as she stumbled into a hedge and nearly fell to the ground. She'd almost completely lost her bearings and had no idea if she was even going the right way. The cool shade of the maze now felt like a prison, a prison she had no hope of escaping, a creeping feeling came over her as she thought she would never find her way out and she would die out here lost in the maze never to be seen again. Tears ran down her cheeks as she fought to catch her breath, her lungs burning as she tried to keep running. Finally she found the exit, the warm sun that she had tried to escape by going into the maze now a welcome relief as bent over at the waist and tried to catch her breath now that she was free of the maze. She took a few moments to calm herself down before she stood up straight again and looked towards the hotel. The hotel that had seemed like her salvation just a few days ago was now a place she was trapped in, she didn't know why or how she was trapped or if she'd ever be able to leave again. She pushed those thoughts away as she slowly made her way back towards the hotel, she needed a shower and a drink and not necessarily in that order.