Christian Miller is the (imperfect_son) wrote in odysseyic, @ 2018-05-28 12:01:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | christian, tris |
The Ring
Who: Chris and Tris
Setting: Their apartment
Christian was a little tipsy when he got home from celebrating with Velma, trying hard to be quiet when he let himself into the apartment, but didn’t do the best of jobs at it. There was a package waiting on the table though, not a huge box, but with his name scrawled in Ethan’s messy handwriting on a note attached to it. He picked it up, then the note, which didn’t say much of anything other than ‘congrats you dorks’ and stared at it for about two minutes longer than he normally would have. Then it clicked.
Christian hadn’t expected it to get there so quickly, figuring that he wouldn’t have the ring in hand until after they docked again, but apparently Ethan had paid to have it shipped, flown in even, with the occasional helicopter that landed and brought mail. Christian clawed his way into the package, finding the simple ring that he’d picked out for Tris, brushed silver, though the note in the box said it was platinum, with a diagonal line of diamonds. Which Christian was pretty sure were also bigger than he’d originally picked out. Nonetheless, it was perfect and it made him smile softly to run his finger along the edge of it. He shut the little velvet box it was in and headed for his room, trying again to be stealth and not wake Tris, but he wound up banging into the doorway on his way in instead.
Not that it really mattered, as Tris wasn’t actually asleep anyway. He’d considered heading to bed, as it got later and later, but the idea of trying to sleep whilst his baby boy was still out felt wrong. He knew he wouldn’t be able to and so he’d kept on working. In consideration of Ethan and Blake he’d left the piano some time ago and retreated to their room.
Now Tris was curled up on the sofa in a mostly darkened room, the only light coming from a standard lamp that stood by the arm of the sofa he was leaning against, casting him in a warm pool of light, his notebook open in his lap as he scratched and scribbled at more ideas.
Tris looked up as Chris stumbled into the room, chuckling at the sight. “So...good night then?” he teased.
Christian jumped at the voice, then softened immediately. Tris looked so perfect like that. Chris was so lucky. Not only was his boyfriend beyond beautiful, he wanted to marry Christian. It was like dreaming. He hummed and nodded, then headed over to Tris, on his knees on the floor in front of Tris like it was natural, resting his head against Tris’ knee. “Very.”
Tris reached down, hand going to Christian’s head, stroking softly and then burying his fingers in his hair. “Want to tell me about it? How’s Velma doing?” he asked, feeling himself relax, letting go of tension he hadn’t even realised he was holding now that he had Chris back with him and safe.
“She’s good. Happy for us,” Christian said, tilting his head into the touches. He loved that. That felt amazing. “We celebrated.” He smiled again, burying it against Tris’ knee.
“Good,” Tris said, happy about that. Happy that Christian had friends. Happy that he had people who accepted him and understood him. Tris didn’t know what he would do without Ethan and he wanted Chris to have his own people in his life that filled that space. He wanted Chris to have everything.
Hearing the happiness in Tris’ voice just made Christian grin all over again. Velma was right. This was how he should think about it. Not about how he’d accidentally walked himself into a proposal, but that he’d known what he wanted enough to say it and that Tris had wanted it too.
Christian pulled back, just enough to see Tris in the dim light, then set the velvet box on Tris’ knee. Sure, he was kind of tipsy still, but he didn’t want to hold on to the ring any longer. Not when it was so clearly Tris’.
It took a moment for Tris to clue into the fact that it was more than Chris’ hand on his jeans and he looked down at the navy blue box. He swallowed his first comment - an observation that clearly Ethan had gotten to him. He didn’t want anyone else in this moment. He also pulled himself back from just grabbing the box and opening it like a child on Christmas morning. Instead he flicked his eyes back up to meet Chris’. “That what I think it is?”
Christian hadn’t said anything, too worried he’d blurt out the truth, but that look, that question, it had him biting his lip and nodding. “If you’ll still have me, yeah, it is.” It felt better, even if Christian wasn’t saying the words the way he’d dreamed about them, but it felt better to be like this, on his knees for his boyfriend, asking for a commitment that had been given so completely in less conventional terms.
“There’s nothing on earth that would make me change my mind,” Tris told him, feeling the weight of the truth of that statement. He’d never been so sure about anything ever in his life.
Christian felt it too, and he took the box, opening it so Tris could see inside. “Then marry me. We’ll spend our lives together. And soon. I don’t want to wait ages or whatever,” he said, working the ring out of the box and holding it up to Tris. “Please?”
Tris couldn’t take his eyes off the ring. It was perfect - simple and masculine yet undeniably an engagement ring and he couldn’t help the slight tremble in his left hand as he held it out for Chris to slide the ring on. Even if they’d already been engaged for a while, even if he’d said to Ethan that he didn’t need a ring, it suddenly felt so important, so very real. Especially with what Chris said. “I… I thought you wanted to wait,” he admitted. “You were talking about some day and I… I didn’t want to rush you into something you weren’t ready for. I thought you were saying you knew what you wanted, you just didn’t want it to happen right now.” And Tris had been prepared to wait. He’d been resigned to waiting for as long as it took.
Christian slide the ring into place, kissing it once it was there. “I thought I’d have to wait for you to be ready, but if you’re ready, I’m more than ready. I’ve wanted it since...well I won’t say because it’s embarrassing. But waiting seems silly when I know you’re all I want.”
“I’ve wanted this since I was a kid - it just took me a while to clue into the fact it was you I wanted it with,” Tris admitted. He knew it wasn’t the big love at first sight declaration, but it was honest and real and Tris felt like that should mean more. “And I don’t want to wait - I don’t need to wait. Not if you don’t want to. We have to stop doing this - we have to stop waiting for each other. We’re… God, we’re usually on the same page about things anyway. Just being afraid that we’re not.”
“I’m just glad you figured it out.” Christian turned Tris’ hand over to kiss his palm then shook his head. “I think it’s okay that we keep waiting for each other,” he said softly. “It means we’re both being gentle with one another, respectful that one of us might need time. I don’t want to give that up.” It was one of the things he loved about Tris even if from time to time he wished they’d hurry it along.
Tris slid down off the couch to join Christian on the floor, gathering him up into his arms. “I love that we’re both willing to give each other time. That respect and gentleness and I don’t want to give that up either, but… I would have waited for years for you and…” Tris leaned in and kissed Christian’s forehead. “And I get the feeling that maybe you would have done as well if someone hadn’t maybe let something slip about what I’d maybe said to him and how ridiculous he thought it was.” Because Tris didn’t trust Ethan to be able to keep his mouth shut and he was fairly sure his friend had had a hand in the gorgeous ring he was suddenly wearing when there’d been no suggestion of one before. “I just think we need to make sure that we’re being patient with each other, not that we’re not communicating.”
Christian made a little face, but shook his head. “Maybe it’s just a good thing we have him to keep us in line.” He cupped Tris’ cheeks and kissed him. “And he helped, but not as much as you think. I knew what I wanted. He’s just better at making impossible things happen quickly.”
“He wants to help us plan the wedding,” Tris warned. He returned the kiss and then pulled back a little, wrinkling his nose. “Let’s be honest - help you plan the wedding. Because we both know I’ll be useless at that and you probably know exactly what you want and I’m going to give it to you, so let’s not kid ourselves.”
“I learned. He likes peach,” Christian said making a face. “I hope he’s joking about that. You get to have a say in the music. I’d be terrible at that.” He did have a plan though. “And I want it to be something you want too. Like, I have no idea if you want something big or small or really private or whatever.”
“I hate peach,” Tris assured him, wiping that frown off his face. “I’ll take care of the music,” he promised. In fact, he already had something in mind there, he just didn’t know if he’d actually be able to pull it off. “...As for the rest? I’m marrying the love of my life - I want the world to know about it.”
Christian felt himself go a little weak in the knees even if he was on the ground. “I’m the love of your life?” he asked softly. “And does that mean you want a big thing?”
“Of course you are,” Tris said, pulling him in more and kissing him. “I’m not just marrying the first person who asked,” he laughed, keeping Christian close. “It means I’m proud of you, of us, of this and I don’t want to hide it away.”
“Well, I doubt I’m the first to ask,” Christian said with a shake of his head. But what Tris said, how Tris felt, that made him flush warm all over. No one was proud of him, not like Tris was. “I think we should do something nice then. All our friends, our...well the family we’ve made.”
“The first who’s not a drunken stranger,” Tris allowed. The only one that counted, as far as he was concerned. He hesitated, but then figured he was going to have to bring it up sooner or later anyway. It wasn’t something he just intended to let go. “...I want to invite your family,” he admitted.
Christian blinked twice, then frowned. “Why? They won’t come. They’ll...why?” He’d barely spoken to his parents and not once since he’d gotten on the boat. He wasn’t even sure if they knew he was on the boat.
“Because they should know - that your life didn’t fall apart when you walked away. That just because you’re gay doesn’t mean anything. That you’re happy, you’re loved, you’re committed and showing that commitment in a way that they can understand,” Tris said, kissing him lightly, before turning to the less sunny way of spinning it. “And if they don’t have a change of heart over that.” Which Tris fully expected them not to have. “Then it shows to them that they lost. That their threats came to nothing. That you’re happier and more loved away from them, that you have a new family who actually cares about you as a person and not just as a possession. And if they turn up and cause trouble, Ethan will throw them overboard,” he teased, only half joking. After all, he was a small guy - he’d probably have to have Blake do it.
Christian listened, but as Tris finished he got up and moved away, wrapping his arms around himself. “I don’t think I can do that. I can’t...I don’t think I can stand them rejecting me again. Or coming and not wanting to be there. What’s my mom going to come and wear the perfect dress and be fake polite and not give me away? They’d only be there because they should be not because they want to be and it would hurt so much. All over again. Doing something because someone might say something. Because TMZ might find out they missed their son’s wedding.”
Tris hated that. Hated the way that Chris moved away, hated that hunched, closed off posture. He stood, stepping behind Christian and wrapping his arms around him. He hated Christian’s parents with a fire he couldn’t extinguish, but not enough to want to hurt his future husband. “Tell me what you want,” he said, his voice quiet, just between the two of them.
Christian was quiet, focusing on breathing for a moment before the hot tears surfaced. “I want to be their son again, but as myself.” He wanted them to be there and be happy for him.
Tris could see it clearly as he dropped his head to rest on Christian’s shoulder. Could see Christian on their wedding day, wondering if they’d turn up. Living through the rejection again if they didn’t - or if they did for the wrong reasons. No matter what, they’d cast a shadow over everything, because Tris didn’t think for a second that they’d ever get the forgive and forget moment that Christian so clearly longed for. “Baby,” he whispered. “Oh baby. Why don’t we just do this for us and we can worry about them another day. I don’t want to let them spoil this for you.”
Christian nodded. “I’ll think about it,” he promised. Because Tris wanted it and maybe Tris was right. “I just don’t think they ever cared if I was happy.” Just if he was perfect.
“That’s all I care about,” Tris told him. “We can do whatever you want. As long as you’re happy.” He paused and grinned into Christian’s neck. “And it’s not peach.”
That got a watery smile out of Chris. “Your best friend is insane. You know that right?”
“And you’re going to be stuck with him for the rest of your life,” Tris pointed out. “He’s family, so… maybe you should be the one wondering if you’ll still have me,” he teased, pulling Chris back against his chest and not letting him go.
“Most family is weird,” Christian breathed and shook his head. “Even he’s not enough to scare me off. Nothing could.”
“I like greens and whites… natural colours,” Tris said, after a moment. “Something organic. Nothing fake or garish. I want… This is normal. Natural. Right. I want to celebrate that. In everything. Even in our weird adopted family.”
Christian thought about that for a moment, liking the color scheme even if the logic behind it hadn’t come to him before. That it was natural. Something that wasn’t a phase or some sort of choice. It was just what they were. Who they were. Christian nodded, wrapping his arms around Tris to hold on to him. “I like that,” he said softly, yet again feeling like Tris had figured out what was in his head before he’d found a way to put words to it. He reached around until he found Tris’ left hand, touching the ring, another reassurance, like the chain around Tris’ neck, that he was there, and not going anywhere. “Do you like it? The ring?”
“We can have lots of flowers, all the ones you love. And music. And all our friends,” Tris promised, curling his arms round Christian's waist. “I love the ring. It's perfect. I'll never take it off.”
That made Christian smile. “I picked it out ages ago. It seemed perfectly you.” All the flowers, all their friends. It would be a perfect wedding.
“I knew you’d have already thought of everything,” Tris said with a laugh. This seemed far more like what he’d actually expected from Chris, when he thought about it. Knowing where he wanted to go, how he wanted to get there. To have considered and thought about everything well in advance. Unlike Tris who rarely planned anything, too used to the idea that life could change at a moment’s notice.
Christian flushed and nodded, cupping Tris’ cheek to press a light kiss against his lips. “I wish I’d had it when I asked.” It was as close to the truth, I wish I’d not asked by accident, but not enough to upset Tris.
“I like the way you asked,” Tris said, whispering the words into Chris’ skin. It had taken some of the pressure off. Allowed Tris to think about what he really wanted, rather than simply facing a question - the question - and all of the associated norms and expectations that went with that. “It was perfect.”
That was it, wasn’t it? That Tris thought it was perfect. He had to go with Velma, what she said. That he’d done the right thing without even doing the right thing. “Good. That’s all I want.” He pulled back enough to see Tris. “To make sure you have every perfect thing you could ever want.”