There was no steady heartbeat to listen to, and even if there had been Tristian had none of his own for it to fall in sync, but Cian's presence still managed to be soothing. His nerves had frayed to a point where the slightest thing seemed to set them alight, but within the older man's arms he felt protected, even from himself.
How he was supposed to understand Julian's motivations he didn't know, but there was a finality to Cian's words that all the questions on earth wouldn't shake. He wasn't going to tell him or give him any clues, of that the young Malkavian was certain.
Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks but he was quieter now, calmer. "Maybe I should have." Tris could have asked. He could have found out through Auspex, if he'd really wanted to know, but did he? When Julian's name came up it felt like a beacon of hope, chasing away the very worst of his fears, and he had no inclination to go after them. "Whenever I tried to reach out it was like someone had cut the line, but I thought...he was avoiding me." His fingers pressed into the leather of Cian's sleeve and nuzzled the Kindred's neck, the bristly hairs underneath his chin rubbing against Tristian's forehead. "Everyone always abandons me eventually. Nobody stays."