He had asked even though he knew the answer to his question. He wanted to be lied to, but he knew Cian wouldn't lie. Wouldn't sugarcoat it. Why? Was he torturing himself now? "But I don't want to be. I just want to be normal, like before." Because he had been normal then, hadn't he? Or had he? "Have I ever been normal? Or have I always been...this? H-how much of me is even real?"
The younger Kindred's eyes were wide and wet and frightful. Everything in his head was jumbled and now he was terrified of not being himself. Just walking, chattering, transferable madness, a facsimile of someone better. Someone real.
Tris covered his face with his hands and sank against Cian's body. "Why did Julian only tell me now? He knew when we met that Rusty was gone, I know he did; so why he didn't tell me then? Why did he have to do it now, over the network? Why did have to hurt me?"