Harry (novus_harry) wrote in novus_sceptrum, @ 2009-11-11 15:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | when: november 1999, where: grimmauld place, where: london, who: harry potter, who: orion black, who: sirius black |
Characters: Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Orion Black
Date: November 3, 1999 (backdated)
Location: Grimmauld Place
Rating: PG-13 - R for language and themes.
Summary: Harry drops by to visit Sirius, only to have awkwardness ensue when Orion turns out to be there.
Status: Complete
Harry was doing okay, though not entirely recovered. It was very difficult, moving on with somebody you'd been very much in love with suddenly out of your life, but Harry was dealing with a double blow. On one hand there had been Henri, who he'd been in love with, and on the other there had been Orion, who he was starting to suspect he had started to fall for. On top of that there was a smoldering anger toward Orion, who had come along and turned his little world upside down, effectively leaving him with nothing but regrets.
Harry had paced around his flat for days, barely eating and rarely sleeping, and had finally decided he needed to get out. He needed to do something besides stare at the wilting flowers on his counter that he didn't have the heart to throw away. He'd originally only meant to go for a walk, but he was not naturally solitary and his feet had eventually turned him toward Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
He wandered up the stairs and knocked gently, waiting for the wards to be taken down rather than sneaking around the back and using his key, still feeling terribly miserable.
Sirius shuffled to the front door, corn beef sandwich and beer in hand. He had just sat down with Orion for a bit of snack and was admittedly surprised to see his Godson at the door. Surprised or not, however, he put on a smile and stepped back to let the boy in.
"Harry! Wasn't expecting you, love. Is everything okay?" He asked, naturally concerned for the boy after his recent first real heartache. "Are you hungry? There's lunch."
"I just couldn't sit in the flat for much longer," Harry answered apologetically, looking up at his Godfather with a pathetic little look. "I didn't mean to interrupt your lunch or anything...I was going to go see dad, but he moves around a lot now and I'm not sure where he is."
He paused for for a moment, looking uncomfortable, before he spoke again softly.
"He's left Mum at a safe house. I kind of think he might be considering divorce..."
"Divorce?" Sirius asked, feigning surprise. "Well...I'm sure he'll talk to you about that. Come on in. My house is always your house. You don't ever need an excuse to be here."
Turning around he started back through the house, heading for the kitchen. Orion was there at the cupboard, digging out a bag of crisps. He was shirtless in a pair of fitted black trousers, hair a tossled mess. His back was to the and so he didn't address his father, Sirius speaking up instead.
"Ri, we have a guest. Make another sandwich."
"No, that's okay," Harry said quickly, averting his eyes from Orion's bare torso and looking st the table instead. "I'm not really hungry, just sort of killing time."
He tried to ignore Orion as he slid down into a chair, turning back to Sirius.
"How've you and Remus been? I mean, since the new decrees hit..."
Sirius shook his head, snapping his fingers at Orion. "Remus and I are as fine as we ever were. Sandwich, now. And did your friend leave yet?"
"Yes," Orion ground out, slamming the cupboard shut and jerking open the ice box. "I told you earlier. Alix left a few hours ago. What do you want on this?"
The question was directed at Harry, though he still didn't turn to face him. "Mustard? Mayo? What?"
"I really don't want one," Harry answered, his tone instinctively matching Orion's nasty one before he could stop himself. His eyes narrowed and his gaze shot to Orion, then flicked away to Sirius again.
"I haven't been very hungry lately," he explained.
Sirius frowned but just nodded his head. "That's fine, if you're really sure..."
Glaring at his dad, Orion shut the ice box door and threw himself into a chair. "You aren't hungry? You look like hell. Though maybe its just not a sandwich you want, but I wouldn't know."
"Well gee, thank you for your opinion," Harry returned. "Next time I want it I'll actually ask for it. I'm just not hungry. My new hobby is anorexia."
"Oh, you'll ask for it? I don't remember asking. Did I miss that?" Orion asked, biting into his sandwich.
Looking back and forth between then, Sirius just cleared his throat. "So how about those Harpies?"
"Is that surprising? You miss a hell of a lot," Harry returned, ignoring Sirius. "I know I look like hell, cram it. I didn't point out you look like you've never seen a comb before, did I?"
"I didn't miss that night we went to the cinema. Remember that? Or are you selectively forgetting all of that?" Orion asked, glaring across the table at Harry. "I'm shocked you haven't forgotten my name yet."
"It's a little hard to forget, especially since Henri used it when he came to see me all torn up and told me you were the damn idiot who let himself be called out," Harry half-snarled, returning the glare. "I certainly remember the cinema. Hopefully I WILL eventually forget."
Orion smirked then, licking his lips smugly. "Yeah, well, he shouldn't have owled me saying all the shit he said. I wasn't gonna let him say that shit to me, so when he asked me to meet him I took the fucking opportunity. You know what? To hell with him. I'm not taking back what I did."
"I don't think he needs you to," Harry answered coolly, blatantly looking Orion up and down. "He had a few cuts and scrapes I cleaned up. I can tell even now that he beat the ever loving shit out of your scrawny ass. Guess you'll learn better than to go up against somebody five times your size."
"My scrawny ass? MY scrawny ass put up a good fight. He might be bigger than me, but he's about half the man I am on a bad day," Orion snorted, shaking his head. "You have NO idea what you gave up."
"Am I supposed to feel bad?" Harry asked, snorting as well. "Feel some great big loss? You're violent, arrogant, loud, obnoxious and infuriating, that's what I 'gave up'!"
Orion stood up then, hands splayed on the table as he leaned across it. "Call me anything you want, but we both know you wanted me."
Harry surged to his feet as well, looking more than a little annoyed.
"Well I guess you'll never REALLY know, will you?" He shot back. "It must be pretty hard for you to pay enough attention to figure it out with the way you're always running away crying."
"I ran away because of you! ALL you had to do was say you wanted me to come back. That was it! You just acted like HE was the only one that mattered," Orion hissed, taking in a deep breath of air.
Sirius, to his credit, had politely left the room. He wanted nothing at all to do with their fighting. He would deal with them individually sure, but together? No thanks.
Harry hadn't even noticed Sirius leave, caught up in the argument as he was. He stepped around the table, jabbing Orion in the chest as he spoke to emphasise his words.
"How about next time you're trying to have a personal conversation I hang out and won't leave?" He demanded. "I didn't tell you to leave and never come back, I asked you to go so I could have a conversation. You had the balls to demand I make some kind of choice right then and there!"
"I knew you'd never pick me," Orion threw back at him. "I knew I'd lose you if he stayed and I left! I didn't say pick right that second, but I didn't want to leave! Out of sight out of mind and all that! I'm falling for you, and I know with Henri involved it doesn't matter! Maybe it doesn't matter anyway."
Letting out a breath, he ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't even begin to understand ANY of this!"
"You would have been gone a few hours at most, how fucking short do you think my attention span is?" Harry exclaimed. "You could NOT stay for that conversation, it was personal! We talked about where we were in our relationship, what were you going to contribute? Nothing! You already ruined things enough!"
Oriom looked furious now, glaring at Harry full on. "I ruined things? How in thell did I ruin things? That would imply that I DID something! That doesn't even make sense to me!"
"How did you ruin things?" Harry asked, looking just as furious. "How? I just broke up with the guy I've been with for a year because of you! You didn't just ruin things, you destroyed them!"
"Its not my faul- wait. You and Henri broke up? That can't be my fault! He was with you the day we fought and I've not seen you since the night you asked me to leave," Orion said, confused. "I really don't see how I ruined, or destroyed, anything."
"You exist," Harry practically spat, turning away from Orion and nearly shoving over a chair as he went back around the table. "You showed up and started snuggling up and made me stop and think about how things were going. I LIKED being oblivious to what was wrong! I didn't WANT to be unhappy with things! You screwed that all up!"
Orion caught Harry by the arm as he made his way around the table, stopping him from going upstairs. "Hey! Maybe you needed to stop and think! Maybe Henri with his stupid flowers and wine and Auror training wasn't what was good for you! Maybe you're just so self absorbed that you can't see what's right the fuck in front of you!"
"What?" Harry seethed, nearly hissing as he spun around and came almost nose to nose with Orion. "What do you think I didn't see? Do you think I'm blind or retarded? Or that I bordered on fucking you just for something to do? I don't hop from dick to dick, I take my time and go slow. YOU fucked up your shot by telling me that if you left you weren't coming back."
"And did I come back? No! I don't need you! I want you, so bad it makes me sick to think about it, but here I am. If you'd wanted me to have a shot? I'd have it," Orion snarled, grip tightening on Harry's wrist. "I don't beg for it, sorry. If you want me? You always know where I am."
"You had your chance," Harry snorted. "I gave it to you when I invited you to spend the night and let you stay. I let you sleep in my bed, amongst other things, that's not NOT giving you a chance! And if you hadn't acted like a brat and had come back your chance would still be in effect!"
Orion let out an irritated breath, pulling Harry closer by the wrist. "You know what? I don't want another chance. You'll be kicking your own ass that you missed this."
"I didn't miss anything," Harry answered starting to get more and more annoyed by Orion's attitude. "You want me just as much as I want you. More, so quit being an asshole about it."
"Is that you admitting you still want me?" Orion asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Because then maybe I'd admit I want you too."
"I don't have to admit it, it's blatantly obvious," Harry answered irritably, shoving at Orion with his free hand. "I DO remember the cinema. And the living room, and the bathroom twice. That's not going to just turn off, dumbass."
Orion thought about it before pulling Harry chest to chest, free hand at his hip. "Prove it."
Harry's first thought was one of annoyance, that Orion would pull a total man stunt like that. He wavered a bit in his anger, shocked out of his annoyance, then managed to put a glare back on, resting both hands on Orion's chest so he could readily push him away.
"I don't have to prove it. It's not MY problem if you don't believe me."
"What would you say to me if I told you right now to your face that I love you?" Orion asked, staring at Harry now with a steady and unwavering gaze. "What would you do if I told you I think about you all the time and its driving me insane? That you are the only thing I want and I'd do anything, absolutely anything, to make you happy?"
Harry met Orion's gaze, though his wasn't quite as steady. This was a bit of a bad time for this, in his opinion at least, and what was there that he could say? Well, there were plenty of things to say, he just wasn't good at saying them.
"...I would have to tell you to be careful," he answered after a moment. "That I'm not sure anymore if I really even know what love is or if I have experience with the real thing. That I don't know if I know how to not hurt you somehow, even if I don't want to."
"Shut up," Orion said softly, kissing Harry very gently on the forehead. "You think too much and just don't feel things. You can't do that. Just let yourself go and let me IN. I think you want to, that you wanted to before and he was holding you back. Don't let my shot be over."
Harry found himself sighing before
He could help himself, part in fatigue and part in exasperation. He closed his eyes, trying not to start with the crying again, and took in a shaky breath.
"Your shot isn't over," he answered quietly. "Where it goes is entirely up to you. I never rescinded my invitation, or actually told you not to come back."
"I hate seeing you sad," Orion admitted softly. "And it hurts to think I'm part of the reason. I don't want to be ever be the reason why you're crying or upset or unhappy. I wanna come back and be with you and spend time with you. I really miss you, Harry."
"Don't worry, you won't have to see me sad," Harry answered, finally pushing Orion away. He grabbed a soda from the fridge and headed out of the kitchen, having noticed Sirius was gone. "And while I'm getting over my break up, I'm sure 'Alix' will keep you occupied."
"Is some jealous?" Orion called out in a sing song voice, grabbing his beer and trailing after Harry. "Not that I owe you anything, but I met Alix at the corner market and we had dinner. That was all. So there's no need for the tone."
"I am not jealous," Harry answered, his tone no less catty as he headed up to the second floor, having not noticed his Godfather in the living room. "And I don't have a tone. And even if I did, don't tell me how to talk, you're not my dad."
Orion let out another snort, throwing his hands in the air. "You are jealous! You're just as jealous as I was over Henri! That's what makes it sexual tension!"
Harry stopped halfway down the upstairs hallway, giving Orion an annoyed look.
"I'm not jealous," he repeated. "I just want to slam this person's head into the wall and then slap you in the face. That's not jealousy, that's any rational person in response to things you do. I am the farthest thing from tense right now. If I were any less tense I'd be a rock."
Orion shook his head, staring at Harry's behind as they walked. "That's not rational at all. I took hin out to lunch. Fair is fair, right? You wanted Henri, I stepped aside. Its logical I'd attempt to move on, even if it fails."
Sirius was not upstairs, which meant he'd probably stepped out for a moment or was taking an owl in the study. Harry decided to duck into the bedroom he used to avoid continuing this awkward conversation with Orion. He did not want to talk about jealousy or sexual tension, and he could feel the back of his neck starting to get hot from embarrassment.
"I'm not tense," he said petulantly, shutting the door in Orion's face.
"Well I am," Orion snapped, leaning on the door frame. "You just up and get me hot and bothered and then ask me to leave? That's not right on so many levels! A guy my age, that sort of thing could permanently damage me!"
Harry opened the door back up, just a bit, and gave Orion another annoyed look.
"You should have come back an hour later," he said simply, sticking his tongue out. "If I'd been expecting you back I would've sent Henri home and had the bath filled and ready."
Orion put his foot into the door so Harry couldn't close it on him again. "My room is across the hall you know. We could resolve some of this right now."
Harry gave Orion an unimpressed look, and for a moment it looked like he would kick his foot out of the way and slam the door again. Instead, though, he gave Orion a shove that sent him stumbling back a little. He stepped past him with his nose in the air, pushing Orion's bedroom door open and preceding him inside.
Orion quirked an eyebrow, watching Harry for a moment before he followed. He slammed the door as he entered the room, turning the lock before grabbing Harry by the front of the shirt. He said nothing as he pulled him in for a kiss, very forcefully pushing him back into the wall.
Harry made a little noise of surprise, hands fisting in Orion's shirt. He had been caught off guard by the suddenness of it, but quickly recovered and returned the kiss with just as much fervor. He slid his hands down Orion's chest, not bothering to beat around the bush as he started tugging at his belt.
Orion let out a soft breath of air, pulling Harry close against him. He slid his hands under the others shirt, tugging at it and letting out a gasping breath. "I have wanted you so bad," he whispered gruffly in Harry's ear.
Harry pulled away just enough to squirm out of his shirt, pulling it out of Orion's hands and tossing it aside. His fingers found their way to Orion's hair, tanglinng into it. He pressed closely into him again, tilting his head in to suck at the other's neck.
"Not gonna lie, I've been waiting for you to seriously make a move since the night you spent at the cottage."
"I didn't want you to think I was just trying to get in your pants because I'm not. Its you I want, all the time," Orion mumbled, sliding his hands down to tug open Harry's zipper. "You sure you wanna do this?"
"What do you think?" Harry asked, tilting his body back a bit to lean out of the way. He slid Orion's trousers down over his hips with two fingers. "You were on top of me more nights than you weren't, did I seem like I didn't want to?"
"You hesitated those nights," Orion pointed out. "I know why, but still. Lots of reason for hesitation. This is a big deal."
Even as he was speaking he was pulling down Harry's trousers, hands roaming the others bare sides and hips. "Merlin, you are beautiful."
"Hesitating didn't mean I didn't want to," Harry sighed, leaning back against the wall and kicking off his jeans and boxers, sending them over into a pile with his shirt. His hands wandered up over Orion's chest and back down to his waist. He leaned in, kissing Orion's chin and smirking slightly, dropping his voice as his fingers played with the slightly lowered trousers.
"I wasn't hesitating those nights when you were sprawled on the sofa. Did you want to start back at that point and work our way up?"
"We can start wherever you want, love, I'm yours," Orion purred. He pulled Harry to his chest and kissed him roughly, tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth. "Anything you want. Any way and any time."
Letting Harry go, Orion took a step back and slid the trousers completely off. He grabbed his wans then, twirling it in his fingers. "Lights on or off."
Harry followed, running a hand along Orion's bicep to his hand, wrapping his own fingers around the wand. He gave it a flick and murmured the incantation to douse the lights, pulling the wand out of his hand and dropping it down with the clothes. Once in darkness he kissed Orion's shoulder, sliding down to his knees. He ran his tongue over the familiar pattern of stars on the other's hip, fingers just barely brushing his thighs. Orion let out a soft little moan, running his fingers through Harry's hair.
"I love you like this," he whispered, tugging gently at the dark locks between his fingers. "You are so damn gorgeous and you have NO idea."
Neither one of them bothered to wonder where Sirius had gone anymore, nor did it occur to them that he was avoiding them because they were driving him insane. The door was locked and they were otherwise engaged, and even if Sirius had finally come to find them he would have had to wait.
+ + + + +
About twenty minutes later, after finally catching his breath, Harry rolled out of Orion's bed and scooped up his clothes. He left the room without a word and slipped into the bathroom, locking the door behind him and turning on the shower. He didn't even really think about what he'd just done as he stepped under the hot spray, feeling very physically worn out. There were bruises all over his neck and shoulders, and he knew Orion sported a matching set with some nice bite marks thrown in, not to mention the scratches on Orion's back. That had been...energetic, Harry really didn't have any other word for it. The build up over the last few weeks had been excruciating, and both of them had had so much pent up want that it had just exploded. And now he had no idea what he was supposed to say or do once he got out of the shower.