Characters: Orion Black and Caradoc Dearborn Date: October 20th, 1999 Location: Owl Post Rating: TBA Summary: Orion figures he ought to apologize. Status: Complete
Dear Caradoc,
I figure I owe you an apology of sorts from last night. I want you to know I'm sorry, and that I'm glad you had my well-being at heart. I didn't mean it if I seemed cold and uncaring to you. I love you very much. I'm just trying to keep myself from hurting, confusing, or losing more people.
Whatever you and Harry talked about is not my business, and I shouldn't jump to conclusions over what I heard or didn't hear. Last night was so horrible and stressful, for all of us, and I had no right to get all up and arms over things. My feelings don't matter anymore than the next persons, and I need to realize that.
I managed to sleep last night, dreamless and worn down. I slept in the hallway just in case Harry got worse in the night, but he was fine. The guy who worked on the Order came and saw him, I think maybe Dumbledore escorted him, but I was so out of it I wasn't sure. I just know I woke up in the afternoon in my own bed and cleaned up myself.
All I feel now is shock. Not over what I did, but all the things we saw there. The state of those people, and their situations. Terrible.
Dad is on the mend now. Remus got some scraps I think, but dad got bitten by Hemingway Lovell, a really nasty bite at that on his neck/shoulder. They told him he won't turn, because Hemingway was in his human form, but it's still a cursed wound and this close to the full, well, he'll likely go feral the night of. Bit scary, and the wound is still seeping a bit. They say he'll have a nasty scar, he's so vain that's the only part he keeps complaining about.
I'm glad he's alive, him and Remus both, and you and Regulus and Tonks and everyone else. I haven't seen James Potter again. He saw me kill the first Death Eater. I really hope he doesn't tell anyone what I did. I don't want to face the mixed reviews.
Anyway, mostly I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, and if I seem distant or odd or cold, it's not you. I love you, as I said, and you're like a brother I never got to have. It's just the only way I know to stop myself from continuing on as I am. Thank you so much for caring about me enough to do the things you do. I know I'm difficult.