Who: Andy and Bailey Dunstan What: Holy crap he's alive When: October 20th, shortly after Andy arrives. Where: Outside of Andy's house, then to Bee/Cal's house. Rating | Status F for all the feels | In Progress update as we go along.
Andy was confused. No, that was probably the understatement of a century. Because whatever was happening right now wasn’t fucking possible. This was ridiculous really, he was dead, he remembered dying, looking that bastard in the face and then laying on the grass. It was weird how the stupid little details of it stuck with him, like how crisp the air felt, how the grass had tickled the side of his face, but his arms had been too heavy to brush it away. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head because it didn’t make any goddamned sense what was happening right now. Not only was he not dead, he was apparently a good bit older now. He had a hard time giving this one to magic, considering the one thing he’d been told from the start that no matter what you did, there wasn’t a magic known to man that could bring the dead back. At least, not in any sort of form you’d want them in. He was pretty certain of that, since he’d been pretty adamant at making sure it wasn’t possible when his dad had died. And he knew Bee wouldn’t be so stupid to try anything like that. Besides, what would she even try!? It wasn’t possible, and it was all messing with his head right now, because there were people writing to him in the journal, shocked that he was alive. People he wasn’t ever supposed to be able to talk to again. People like Bailey and Callen.
Andy actually punched a wall in his room as all of his thoughts swirled to a crescendo and drove him mad for a moment, though the pain of that cut through it enough to bring him back down. Ok, so some things clearly didn’t change. The last thing he really remembered clearly was telling that bastard Liam Warrington that he’d be waiting for him in hell, is that what happened? No, course not, because Bee and Cal wouldn’t be there. Maybe Andy was a piece of shit, but they were actually decent people. Not that he even believed in such things, but this place was mental, and he didn’t really know what to believe at the moment. He shook his hand, cursing under his breath. He didn’t break it at least, though there was a small cut across his knuckles, and a small crack on the wall. He’d done a lot worse. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he said to himself, rubbing the back of his hand before he walked out of the room. It felt stifling, he needed room to breathe, to walk this off because it was too much to deal with right now. He found his way back out of the house, moving in a bit of a hurry, until he reached the sunny outside. He paused, even more confused by how nice the place looked. He hadn’t paid all that much attention when he’d been led over here, because he was trying to get some bloody answers, which he had gotten none of. He took a deep breath, then bent over and put his hands on his knees, shaking his head a moment, before straightening up and pushing his long hair out of his face. This was bloody unbelievable. He wasn’t cut to ribbons like he remembered being, he seemed to be in one piece and healthy. Fucking mental.
---
When the dead started to pop back up here...Bailey had a moment where she thought that maybe Andy would arrive too. She never said anything, but she knew that a few people could tell that she’d been thinking it. At least those who knew that she had a brother at any rate. Talking about Andy had never been easy for her after he died. It was even a few years before she had even really been able to hang up pictures of them up at her home. She kept a photo of the two of them in her desk drawer at work, one that had been from when he’d come out to visit her on a site for a few days. But even then, just knowing that it was in the drawer had been enough. But as the weeks went on, she started to realize that it just wasn’t in the cards and started to talk herself out of hoping that her twin would arrive. It was better this way. He was at peace now. He didn’t have to fight anyone. He could just be in the afterlife drinking beer with their dad and waiting for when the time came for her to follow. She found some sort of comfort in that, but, there would always be a part of her that wanted Andy around.
She had been at home sitting on the couch when she had come across very familiar handwriting. No. No, it couldn’t be Andy. There was no way that was going to happen. Her free hand went immediately to her stomach where his namesake was growing and she shook her head. No, this was just because she’d been thinking more about her brother than usual. It was one of those weird pregnancy tricks that screwed with her senses or her head. Bailey was seeing it because she wanted to see it. But when she opened up her eyes...it was still there. And she had to respond. She had to find out if it was really her brother or some very cruel joke being played on her. But a moment later she found herself flying out of the house she shared with Callen and running as fast as she could towards where he said he had been. When she closer she saw a familiar figure emerged and she stopped dead in her tracks not to far away from where he stood. This...wasn’t...possible. He stood there, whole. The last time she’d seen his face was when she had to identify his body. She’d had a closed casket, she didn’t figure Andy would have wanted people staring at him. And really, she couldn’t do it. That day...was the worst of her life. She still didn’t know how she’d gotten through it. Maybe it had to do with have a few shots before hand. Or maybe because Callen had literally held her up through the whole thing, not because of the shots, but because they were lowering half of her into the ground and she felt like the world was collapsing on her and she couldn’t breathe despite trying desperately to be strong right then.
Bailey found herself unable to move or speak as she stood there watching him bend over and try to catch his breath. He looked...older. Uncertain, confused...scared. But he looked like Andy still. Long hair, beard and all. He looked heathly. She bit down hard on her lip and covered her mouth with her hands as she fought back the tears that were stinging her eyes. What did you even say to this? She put down her hands and she tried to speak a few times, but words failed her. Finally, the heavy feeling of her feet lifted and she walked over to him, and just like she had down so many times in the past...cupped his face gently. Warm. His face was warm. He was really here, and suddenly she couldn’t hold all the tears back any longer. Something she might have been able to do if it wasn’t for the bloody hormones right now. Yeah, okay, maybe not. But they weren’t helping right now, that was for sure. She started to lift his face up and let out a little half-cry-half-laugh, as she tried to tell him it would be okay, but words failing her again. But he had to know she was thinking it, right? Maybe. Bailey didn’t know. She searched his face, for any sign this might be real, praying silently to whatever was out there to please don’t let this be wrong. Let this be real. Please don’t take him away from her again.
****
Why was it so damn hard to breathe? Fucking hell, he felt like he was panicking, and he had to close his eyes for a moment and remind himself he could handle whatever this was. He tried to focus on breathing normally, standing there in the middle of the walkway, in the bright sunlight, trying not to lose his mind. He heard the footsteps heading towards him though, and opened his eyes, ready to tell whoever it was to fuck right off, he wasn’t ready to deal with concerned bystanders yet. But it wasn’t just any person. It was Bee, but she looked different than the last time he saw her. He really couldn’t put his finger on exactly what it was, she was just different, and yet the same Bee he remembered. He just stared at her for a moment, not sure what was happening, if this was real, or anything. It wasn’t until she put her hands on his face that he snapped back to the moment, like a shock to his system. His last living thought had been of her and Cal, the two people he would regret leaving behind the most, and there she was, standing in front of him, as real as anything, and he couldn’t find any fucking words. He felt choked up and realized before he had a chance to catch himself that his eyes were watering, and dangerously close to leaking at the sight of her. “Fucking hell, Bee,” he finally managed to get out in an uncomfortably choked sounding voice. He grabbed her and pulled her into a hug, leaning his forehead on her shoulder to hide his face as he was trying to fight his emotions. Of course if anyone could actually make him cry it would be his sister.
He didn’t move for a long time, breathing heavily and just clinging to her, his arms wrapped around her middle in not quite a vice grip, but in a way that clearly said you’re the only real thing holding me together right now. Because he felt like he was going to fly apart into a million pieces. His head hurt and his lungs burned and nothing made sense and it was all too bright around him, but Bailey was there. The rest of it could be dealt with because she wouldn’t let him sink, she never had before. But what he was seeing around him right now was clashing horribly with his last memories, those final moments in the dark, his friends dead around him, those bastards ready to kill him. He could still feel it, right to the pit of his stomach, it was like a wound that wouldn’t close any time soon. And right now, Bailey was the only thing standing between him and that, the only thing protecting him from having to deal with that. He knew he couldn’t ignore how bad it was when the 6’5” behemoth of a man was having trouble holding it together and clinging to the smaller blond to keep himself sane. After what felt like an age, he finally let go of her and stepped back a little, looking away for a second so he could wipe at his eyes without being quite so obvious about it. He didn’t know what to say, what exactly was one supposed to say when they’d just come back from the dead? So he just went with exactly what was on his mind. “What the fuck is going on?” he asked, his voice a bit shaky in an uncharacteristic way. He didn’t know how to deal with this, but he sure as hell hoped she had some idea of what was happening, that she could clear it up at least a little bit for him so he wouldn’t go mad.
--
Bailey knew that it was him even before he spoke. But when he did speak...there was no controlling the tears now. That same gruff voice that she never thought she’d hear again. She heard him occasionally in the back of her head, but this...this was real. This was happening. It was the best sounding music in the world to her. Feeling his arms pull her into a tight hug sent her sobbing. Bailey had never felt as safe as she did when Andy hugged her. For as long as she could remember, Andy had been the one to take care of her, keep her safe. Andy meant safety. Something she didn’t have a lot in supply growing up. Even in her adult life. After she was kidnapped she had spent a few nights crying in hysterics alone wanting Andy so badly to tell her it was going to be okay that it physically hurt. Friends she trusted more than anything hadn’t been far away from her then, but it wasn’t the same. And yet, here he was. And he was crying. It broke her heart as much as it uplifted her because he was still here. She wrapped her arms tightly around her brother holding him close. “It’s okay.” she said softly after a little bit, finding her voice, even if it was slightly unsteady. She turned her head and buried her face into his hair as she rubbed his back a little. She would stand here and hold him together for as long as it took. And in truth, she was afraid to let go. Afraid that if she did, he would fly away just as quickly as he came.
When he was ready to let go of her she didn’t bother to hide how badly she was crying, just wiped her face a little with the sleeve of the shirt she was wearing. Not registering that she had thrown on one of Callen’s shirts. She was just starting to show a little bit, barely there if you looked right, but still, there was no way anyone could tell since she was basically swimming in the shirt. Thankfully, this wasn’t uncommon from something Andy would know. She was always stealing their clothing, even back then. But she wasn’t really thinking about that. No, she was trying to figure out how to explain all of this. The short answer was she didn’t know what was going on. But Andy needed something more than that. She needed to help him. It was funny how fast she fell back into this habit. It was her turn to protect him. Something she couldn’t do in order to save him back then. A part of her had always felt guilty about that, not being around. Maybe she could have forced him to stay home and rest that day. A thousand scenarios that she knew would have never worked...but still. Now was her chance to make up for that. She cleared her throat a little after fumbling to get anything but a squeak out the first time. “I’ve never seen magic like this before.” she admitted. “Whoever is in charge...they seem to have the ability to transport massive amounts of people two and from the Island...” and bring people back from the dead. Which is probably more what was on his mind, considering... “my best guess is that somehow they’ve managed to crack the mysteries of time and slip people in and out of it..or something. I’m...still puzzling it out.” she admitted, but she was just so dumbfounded right now that even if she had an answer, there’s no way she could have made it sound right. “Andy...I....” tears were welling up in her eyes again as she held onto him again. No. One long hug was not going to cut it. Not when she never thought she’d do this again. I missed you so fucking much. she said in her head, unable to get the words out. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” she swore instead after a moment.
****
Andy couldn’t talk, he was too choked up, focusing on breathing so he wouldn’t just fall apart right there on the spot. He was the one who was supposed to be strong and take care of her. But he hadn’t been there. He’d failed at his one job, and left her alone for 8 fucking years. He couldn’t hardly believe it when Cal had told him how long he’d been gone. No wonder he looked strange to himself in the mirror. And no wonder Bee looked different in some way. A lot could happen in 8 years, and he’d missed all of it. He wondered briefly is the war was over, what had happened, who had won. He should have been there, and the guilt of not being was creeping up into him. It was how he’d felt in those final moments. He hadn’t been sad about dying, he’d been sad about failing Bee and Cal. He had promised her especially that he’d always be there, that no matter what happened, she would always have him around to back her up. And he hadn’t kept that promise. He was a man of his word, a promise was a promise, and he was never going to forgive himself for that. Of all the things they had been through in their life, Andy worried that she wouldn’t be able to forgive him for that, because he was supposed to be the person she could trust over everyone. And he wouldn’t blame her for it if she didn’t. Still, despite the direction his mind was wandering, he clung to his sister, determined to make her stay and make it up to her somehow, even if living with the memory of what was done to him would be difficult as fuck. He’d been through shit before, he could figure it out.
He shook his head at her, scowling when he pulled back and she was crying. He used his sleeve to carefully wipe the tears from her face and brushed her hair out of the way. “Don’t do that, Bee,” he said quietly. “You don’t want to see a big ugly guy like me cry.” He offered her a small smile, trying to cheer her up a little bit. What were people going to think of this? No matter where this place was, he knew Cal was there, so the only people whose opinions mattered were around to give them. Would Cal even want to see him? He’d failed him too. But damn it if he wasn’t going to need his brother to get through this shit. He listened to her attempted explanation. He wasn’t expecting her to have the answers for something as insane as this, he was just hoping. He shrugged though at her final comment, staring down at himself. He couldn’t say it, because he knew she had to know at least some of what happened to him, but if he’d just been pulled from the last moment he remembered, then he should be bleeding to death right about now. He wasn’t. He was whole and healthy, and after a quick cursory inspection when he’d been back in his room, he didn’t even have a sign on his skin of what happened to him. It didn’t make any sort of sense. “Whatever it is, it’s… fucking weird.” He had almost said fucked up. Which it was, but it just sounded to him like that would come across as him being upset about it. He wasn’t going to complain about a second chance he didn’t deserve, and that most people never got, but that didn’t mean it was easy to handle. In fairness, it had only been about half an hour since he stopped being dead, so he decided to give himself a pass for a little longer. Maybe it would get easier to deal with. As long as his people still wanted him around.
--
In Bailey’s eyes, there was nothing to forgive. Andy didn’t choose to die, it wasn’t by his own hand. She knew that he didn’t go by choice. So in her eyes, that trust had never been broken. It was a circumstance beyond control. She knew a few things, but she didn’t know much about it. If only because at the time, she hadn’t wanted to know. Bailey had stayed a week after she buried him, enough time to sort out his affairs, say another long painful goodbye at his grave and take off for six months where the otherwise responsible Bailey had gone completely off the tracks trying to mask the pain she felt. So there really was nothing to forgive. Yes, she hated living without him, even now, but she had learned to live without him. It had been harder than anything else she’d done in her life, but she made it work. And when she saw him, she couldn’t feel anger at him for leaving. No, she just saw her brother. The one who had protected her against the assholes the birthgiver had brought home. The one who made her smile when she was upset. Played bouncer for her when she competed, while snickering at her big hair. The one who had ran away with her, and kept them safe. No, there was no anger. Only guilt on her end that she’d somehow let him down. But she would be the one to take care of him this time. He was so blindsided by all of this, and she couldn’t blame him for it. This was fucked up. She could only imagine the shit he was going through to get him to a point where her big, strong, wonderful brother was leaning on her for support. The way he clung to her broke her heart in a new way she didn’t know was possible. She just held Andy tighter, taking it all in, focusing on him, pretending that he hadn’t been gone for eight years, as she made a few soothing noises to try and ease his storm a little. Let him know that she was not going anywhere any time soon.
A faint smile crossed her lips when he wiped away her tears, she looked up at him and studied his face as she shook her head a little with a slight eyeroll. He wasn’t ugly. Far from it. And even if he was, he couldn’t be right now, because he was alive. “I just want to see you.” she said simply with a little bit of a hiccup. It was the plain and simple truth. She reached over and gently touched his arm. “Andy...this is really fucked up.” she started. “But...this is also real..” This was so much harder to get out than she ever thought possible. In moments of weakness she had pictured what she had wanted to say to him if she ever really got to talk to him again. But right now, she couldn’t think of a single one of those things. “And you’re here. We’re together, okay? That’s what matters.” Her head felt so scrambled right now. She didn’t know how to talk, and she was the one that was good at talking. “We can get through anything, remember?” she was trying to hard to reassure him. “C’mon. Let’s get out of the street. My place isn’t too far from here.” she didn’t know exactly who he was living with right now. But she was living with Callen and they had the house to themselves, so she figured maybe it would be better for everyone for right now.
****
He felt better with Bee there, even with everything else circling in his head, all the guilt and confusion and pain, he could at least stomach it with her there. Of course it had always been Andy taking care of Bee, making sure she was safe and wanted for nothing, but in truth, Bee had taken just as much care of him. Honestly, he had a feeling he had handled her leaving for work worse than she had. He’d been angrier in that time, felt a bit lost without her around, and hadn’t realized until then how much he depended on always being nearby. It wasn’t until she wasn’t a short walk away from wherever he was at the time that he realized just how dependent he was on her. It was probably good for both of them though, learning how to live more on their own, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. His best memories after school were the ones when she was home visiting. That was when he was happiest, and likely his friends noticed he was less angry when she was around. So it went without saying that in this situation, he needed to see Bee first, get a chance to get a hold on himself, reign himself back in a bit. This was hard, it hurt more than anything he’d experienced before, and he wasn’t fully sure why. It was just… more than he could make sense of or handle right now, so maybe it was best to push all of it back for the moment, deal with it when he had a chance to take everything first. He felt like he couldn’t be faulted for temporary denial. It wasn’t easy to let her go, but he knew they couldn’t just stand there forever in the middle of the path like that. Eventually he had to face the rest of… whatever this place was.
He gave her a small smile, and shook his head. “Well, here I am Bee,” he said, holding his arms out slightly before dropping them back to his side. He felt better when she voiced what he’d avoided saying. At least he could say that without worrying she’d get the wrong idea. He ran a hand through his hair, his dead give away tick that he was uncomfortable. “Understatement,” he said with a nod. “This is… impossible, Bee. It’s crazy.” He was worried. Nothing came for free, right? When had anything ever just been handed to them without strings attached? He didn’t want to think about what sort of strings came with coming back to life. He nodded, relieved to hear her say it. He was worried that they would be mad at him, for getting himself killed like that. For not being there. Even if Cal said he should shut up about it, he worried. Because he wouldn’t blame them for feeling that way. He’d promised to be there, and then he wasn’t. And now he was again, that wasn’t the kind of thing that one just got over, no matter what side of the situation they were on. And he wasn’t going to force them to be around him if they weren’t ready, but fuck did he want to just sit with both of them and hear about everything he’d missed. “Lead the way then,” he said, stepping up next to her and following her down the path. He was silent for a long time, but he finally couldn’t hold it in anymore. “I’m sorry, Bailey,” he said in a small voice. He was looking down at the ground, positive he didn’t need to elaborate on why he was apologizing. “I missed so much, I know. Fuck, I don’t know a goddamn thing about what I’ve missed. The fucking war could still be raging out there for all I know. I just… I’m sorry.”
--
Even though it was a small smile on his face, it was a smile nonetheless. Large smiles were rare with Andy, even with her, so seeing something so small, warmed her. There was really no other way to describe it other than it felt like a missing piece of her had been put back. The thought of that terrified her, because if she lost him again, she was sure that she would handle it just as poorly, if not worse. And she couldn’t be just thinking about herself any more. She would not leave Callen to deal with this again the way she had the first time. And on top of that, she was still carrying Callen’s child. A small jolt went through her as she realized that she had to tell Andy about that. But she let it pass...later. The timing was not right at this second, and he already had too much to deal with. “Yes you are.” her own small smile grew wider as she started to blink back a fresh wave as she gave a little sniff, trying to control the flood gates at the moment. “I know.” she paused. “Hey, don’t worry.” she said gently, she could feel it radiating off of him. It was really odd how they could just...pick up again like that. As if nothing had happened. His hand going through his hair, causing that same big red flag to go up in her brain. “You’re not the first person to come back. And everything that has happened after...has been nothing we can’t handle.” she assured him. And really, at this point if it meant she could keep having her brother around Bailey would endure a whole lot worse than a Maze and some dragons.
The quiet between them lingered between them as they headed towards Bailey’s, and for the first time in a long time between them, it felt kind of odd. Yes it wasn’t always perfect between them and sometimes the silence was uncomfortable. But it hadn’t been anything like this. At least not since their father had passed. It was comforting having him around, but at the same time she didn’t know what to do, and on top of all of that, the rush of emotions was driving her insane. She was used to being calm and collected. But right now she knew she was a bit of a hot mess. But no matter, she would figure it out and keep pushing through this. When he stopped she paused and looked up at him with big eyes. She quickly wiped a few stray tears that had leaked out before speaking. “No.” she said in a kind yet firm voice. “Andy, no, you have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me?” she crossed her arms over her chest. “I know you better than that. You didn’t leave us because you wanted to. I understand that. I never once blamed you for it. I missed you, terribly,” understatement, however, she felt like he needed to hear it. And she wouldn’t lie to him or try to gloss over anything at this point. “I visited you a lot. Probably more than was healthy. But I never once blamed you for what happened. If anything...” she paused. “I’m the one who should be saying ‘sorry’. I should have been around more. The first sign of trouble, I should have been home.” She was sure some days that even if she had been home, there would have been little to nothing she still could have done. But still. “I love you. Always have, always will.” Bailey needed him to hear and understand that. “And we’ll get you caught up. As much as you want to know, whenever you want.” she promised him. “The War’s over, and it has been over for a long time. We’re safe.” she gave him a reassuring smile, before giving him a small little push to get him moving again since they were so close to being able to walk into the house now.