ryan mclagger is not a nice guy (wontbudge) wrote in novsila_rpg, @ 2014-12-30 19:06:00 |
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Cassie hadn’t planned on falling asleep when she’d curled up on the couch to listen to her show. She’d just wanted to listen and keep up with what all of the other characters were doing so that she wouldn’t be completely lost when she was able to go back to work. But she hadn’t slept well the night before because of coughing fits so really it should have been no surprise that she’d fallen asleep. For a couple of hours judging by the time on the clock. She started to close her eyes and go back to sleep, or at least try to, and that was when she heard the sound of someone moving around in her flat. She knew it was a dumb move, but she got up to see who it was, making sure to grab her wand, ignoring the small voice that said she should just send a message to Strat and have him come over to check it out. If she did that she might not ever get her big brother to leave. She made her way in the direction she’d heard the sound coming from and the nerves disappeared when she finally saw who it was. “Hey. You surprised me.” *** Ryan hadn't really dealt well with that whole future kids thing. The very thought of Cassie having a kid with someone else, anyone else at all, filled him with so much anger, he could barely contain it. He knew, logically, that Cassie loved him. He knew he even deserved being cheated on with how he sometimes treated her, but logic had never been his strong suit. Besides, he'd been really trying lately. He still flirted, but he hadn't touched another woman in months. For all his flaws, Ryan really did love Cassie. If he hadn't realized it before, what happened over the summer really had driven that home. They hadn't spoken much lately, but when Ryan heard she was sick, it was enough to make him swallow his pride and make his at over to her flat. He stopped at her favorite Chinese place for a big tub of soup and a large order of egg rolls. Maybe he should have floo'd ahead or something, but it was easy enough to let himself in and he didn't want to wake her if she was sleeping. A lazy grin greeted Cassie's remark about him scaring him as he crossed the room and bent to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead. "That was the general idea," he teased her. *** Cassie smiled at his teasing, shaking her head as she set her wand down on a nearby table. She’d missed him lately, missed talking to him but every time she thought about sending him a note or going over to see him she remembered how he’d acted over Penny and how much it had hurt. She’d been mad at him, pissed even when she’d found out what he’d said to Carver during that exchange, but that had passed quickly and just left her with a lingering hurt over the idea that he didn’t trust her. After everything that had happened in their relationship, everything he’d done - he didn’t seem to trust her. “You’re lucky I didn’t owl Strat when I heard someone moving around,” she said, covering her mouth as another coughing fit hit her. *** “You don’t think I could take him?” Ryan’s eyes sparkled with amusement, but the look faded as she started to cough and he set down the food before rushing to do whatever he could, rubbing her back soothingly, because he wasn’t sure what else to do to help her. “Maybe we should owl a healer instead. You sound horrible,” he suggested. Worry replaced his earlier amusement. Anyone watching would have seen how obviously Ryan cared about Cassie. It wasn’t a side he showed to many people or one that many inspired, but Cassie topped the list or nearly did. And right now he was much more interested in making sure she was okay than in projecting his usual tough guy image. *** Cassie shook her head, giving him a weak smile when the coughing stopped. “You should have heard me yesterday. I sounded a lot worse,” she told him, getting serious after a second. She knew how rare seeing this side of him could be and no matter what else she might be feeling towards him, seeing it always reminded her how much she did love him. And some of the reasons why she did. The tough guy was part of him and she knew that but so was this. And there was the fact she’d have been lying if she didn’t admit that seeing it directed towards her always made her feel special. “I saw a healer this morning. I just need to keep taking the potion they gave me and make sure to dress more warmly if I’m planning on playing in the snow again.” Paddy had been serious when he’d offered to send the team healer over to examine her. “And as for you taking him...I’m more worried that if he came over right now, I’d never get him to leave.” *** “Well, you still sound pretty horrible,” he grumbled, but there was affection lingering beneath the gruff tone as he gently threaded his fingers through her hair. “Have you eaten? I brought you some soup,” he said, “and some of those egg rolls you like.” Cassie might not need someone fussing over her, but he was going to do it, anyway. Seeing her sick brought out all of his protective instincts. “That could get awkward,” he told her, smirking, when she mentioned her brother’s unwillingness to leave if she’d called him over. She was probably right about that and he couldn’t help being glad the other man wasn’t there. Ryan definitely preferred his time with his girlfriend to be of the one on one variety, without overprotective big brother glaring at him the whole time. *** Cassie knew Ryan well enough to pick up on the affection underlying the gruff tone and she actually enjoyed the rare occasions when he fussed over her. Not rare because she didn’t think he would if the situation called for it, rare because she normally didn’t get sick. Not like this. “Not since lunch,” her stomach grumbled when he mentioned the egg rolls and she laughed at herself. “Which apparently was too long.” Her appetite was coming back which was a sign that she was getting better right? Hopefully she’d get over this cold pretty soon. “Just a little bit.” She knew her boyfriend and her brother weren’t each other’s biggest fans and as much as she wished the two of them could get along, she wasn’t going to hold her breath for it. At least they weren’t obviously at each other’s throats and she had to be thankful for that. “Plus it will make it easier for us to talk about things.” *** "Not before you have something to eat." His tone was firm now, but there was affection in his eyes as he gestured to the containers he'd carried in with him. Ryan wasn't crazy about the talking idea anyway. Talking really wasn't his strong point. He knew there probably wasn't any getting out of the conversation, but he would happily put it off if he could. Besides, she really did need to eat. She was obviously hungry and the soup would do her good, so, yeah, he was definitely insisting she do that before they talked. *** Cassie sighed and pretended to be annoyed by that authoritative attitude he’d taken on but there was a slight smile playing on her face as she went to get some bowls for the soup. “Have you eaten?” She knew talking wasn’t one of his favorite things to do, or at least not conversations like the one they needed to have, but he wasn’t refusing. Or trying to ignore it. She was going to count that as a good thing. *** "I'm fine, love," he assured you with a smile. "I know there's enough egg rolls there to feed a small army, but they're actually all meant for you." He'd eaten earlier and besides he was mostly concerned about her. He wanted to make sure she got enough and he knew how much she loved these egg rolls. He was hoping having some of her favorite food would make her feel better. Plus, peace offering. He'd been kind of a jerk lately and Ryan sucked at actually saying the words "I'm sorry" but he as okay with gestures like this. Egg rolls and soup made for a good enough apology, right? *** That was one of the benefits of the two of them having been together for so long, even if it was off and on - she understood that him coming over with some of her favorite foods was an apology, his way of trying to make it up to her for being a jerk about things. And she had to admit that she probably owed him an apology too. She hadn’t exactly tried to be understanding of his feelings. She’d tried to talk to him about it once and it probably would have turned into an argument if he’d responded to her little barb. Which she’d regretted as soon as she’d written it but hadn’t taken back. Tonight she was going to try to keep her calm because - she didn’t want things to go badly between them this time. Not when things had been going so well. “You know I’m never going to be able to eat all of these,” she said. She saw the time and frowned, it was late for her medicine. And when she turned to look for it she realized...of course someone had put it up higher than she can reach. She was willing to bet it was Paddy. “Do me a favor? Can you get the medicine down for me? Someone put it out of my reach when they came by earlier.” *** “I don’t know about that, I’ve seen you really pack away egg rolls before,” he teased her. There were a lot in there, but he figured it would be fine if she ended up with leftovers, if she didn’t have room to eat them all. Better to have more than she needed than not enough. He didn’t want things to go badly, either, which was why he’d much rather avoid talking and just go on like nothing had happened. That was pretty much the way he got by. He did something stupid, he found a way to apologize without words and then things were good again for a while. Much easier than actually talking about feelings or some shite. When she asked for his help, Ryan moved quickly, reaching up and grabbing what she needed. “Hey, whose fault is it you’re so short?” he teased her as he retrieved the bottle and handed it to her. *** Cassie laughed at his teasing comment and smiled at him. “That was after I’d been rehearsing all day and hadn’t had a chance to eat anything. Different situation. And there were sugar dumplings that night that you took care of all by yourself,” she reminded him. “And I think that was an off day for you,” she added, teasing him. She made a face as she took the medicine, hating the taste of it. “Whose fault is it that I’m surrounded by giants?” she asked him, pretending to be annoyed but she couldn’t keep a straight face. *** “You can never have too many sugar donuts,” he said without missing a beat. “Plus, they’re way less filling than the egg rolls.” He was enjoying this teasing her and he shook his head, laughing as she insinuated he was a giant. “It’s a good thing or you wouldn’t have anyone to hand you thinks you’re too tiny to reach,” he teased further. This felt good and after she’d swallowed the medicine, he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. “Besides, I have it on good authority that you happen to like my height just fine,” he murmured, dipping his head to brush a quick kiss over her lips. *** Cassie loved the sound of Ryan’s laugh. She’d missed hearing it more than she’d realized until that moment. She needed to just go ahead and admit it to herself - she’d just missed him. She let him pull her close, stretching up a little so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and just enjoy how it felt to have him holding her like this. “But would things getting put out of my reach still be an issue?” She smiled up at him after that quick kiss. “You’re right - I do like your height. I like how we fit together,” she told him quietly. “And I don’t want you getting this nasty cold if you don’t have to,” she said, staying in his arms for a few more seconds before stepping away so she wouldn’t kiss him again. Damn cold. She would just have to make up for it once she was feeling better. *** When she stepped away from him, Ryan just grabbed her and pulled her back in. "I don't care, you're worth getting sick for," he argued. Smiling, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, just standing there in the kitchen with her for a moment. He'd missed this. Things hadn't been great between them lately. It was nice to just stand here and hold her for a moment. *** “You say that now but I think you’ll be saying something different if you end up having to miss a game because of it,” Cassie teased him, closing her eyes as she rested her cheek against him. She wasn’t going to argue with him about him holding her like this. Mainly because they would both know she didn’t mean any of her objections. “I should probably go ahead and eat,” she said quietly but she didn’t make any move to get out of his arms. “I missed you,” she admitted, looking up into his face. *** Ryan smiled, closing his own eyes for a moment as he held her. His fingers threaded gently through her hair and he just held her for a moment. “I mean it, Cassie. You’re a lot more important to me than a game.” He loved Cassie. He didn’t throw those words around lightly, he didn’t even really care about many people, but Cassie nearly topped the list. “I missed you, too,” he admitted, bringing a hand up to brush lightly over her cheek. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a prat lately. I just- I love you, Cassie. The thought of you with someone else- It made me a little crazy.” *** Cassie could count on one hand the number of times Ryan had actually said the words I love you in their relationship. He showed her how he felt regularly though and she knew it was just that saying it didn’t come as easily to him. And she liked the ways he found to show her how he felt. The little things he did that were just for her. “I love you too Ryan. And I do get how you felt when the kids showed up. Sounds like how I always felt finding out you’d slept with someone else.” She’d never actually talked with him about that, about how his cheating had made her feel. Outside of the anger which she figured was pretty obvious since she would yell at him over it and there had been a few times that she had even thrown things at him. “I wasn’t even all that mad at you over how you reacted. I was more hurt than anything because it seemed like you didn’t trust me,” she told him, a little part of her worried about how he’d react to what she said. *** Ryan couldn’t really say much to that. He’d hurt her more times than he could count. By all rights, she should have stopped giving him chances a long time ago. Maybe being confronted by the possibility of her ending up with someone else in the future was some kind of karmic payback for all she times he’d cheated on her. A part of him knew he deserved it, but that didn’t make it hurt less. “You had a kid with someone else, Cass,” he murmured softly. “In some universe, you ended up with someone other than me.” He couldn’t really articulate how much that hurt him. Or scared him. If she ended up with someone else, he knew it would be his fault, and that just made it worse. *** Under other circumstances Cassie might have pointed out the fact that in one of those universes he apparently had three kids with Sally but something stopped her. He just looked so...not himself right then. “Ryan I don’t know what happened there but I can tell you that here, in our universe, I’m not going to end up with someone else. You have to trust me on that,” she told him quietly. *** How do you know, he wanted to ask, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to open the door to that conversation. Because if she did end up with someone else, some part of him knew it would be his fault. It would be because he’d fucked everything up between them. “Good,” he said instead, because he didn’t really know what else to say. *** Normally Cassie liked the fact that Ryan was taller than she was but right then it was annoying for her as she stretched up on tiptoe to give him a kiss. He’d said he didn’t care if he caught her cold and she was going to believe that he meant it and hope that he’d pick up on what she was trying to tell him without words - that she loved him. And that was something that was never going to change. No matter what happened between them - they’d always ended up back together in the end because they loved each other. “Especially not with Carver. You know I don’t love him that way,” she teased, trying to break through his mood a little. Even if she did love Carver that way it wouldn’t matter - he was done with women. But that was a big if. She looked into his face again, wishing she could read his mind in moments like this. “Are you going to stay tonight?” *** Ryan meant what he said. She was worth the risk of getting sick for and when she leaned up for that kiss, he eagerly pulled her close, returning it without hesitation. He knew that she loved him. No one who didn't would have taken him back so many times. Sometimes he really hated himself for the way he treated her, sometimes he knew she deserved better, but right now he didn't care. He just cared that they were together now. "If you want me to, yeah," he told her with a smile, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of her face. He wanted to kiss her again, but that wasn't the only reason he'd come by. "You should eat," he reminded her. "Before that monster in your stomach tries to come out and eat me." *** “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to Ry,” Cassie told him, smiling back up at him. She really did love him and these little moments when he let her see past that tough guy exterior. She laughed at his comment and stretched up to kiss his cheek. “I know. And I’m going to. Getting that out of the way just seemed more important to me. So it wasn’t just hanging over our heads anymore.” There were definitely benefits to magic at times, the food didn’t need to be heated up despite having been sitting on the counter while they talked. It was still as warm as if he’d just brought it through the door and rather that was because her perception of how long their conversation had been was wrong (which she admitted was a possibility, especially when she was sick) or he’d used a charm to keep it from getting too cold. And really she didn’t care which it was as she went back into the living room to start eating. She knew she should have gone to the dining room table but her couch was a lot more comfortable and that’s what she wanted right now - to be comfortable. *** Ryan understood that. He was glad to have gotten the talking over with, too. He didn’t love having to have that conversation, but it was nice to have it settled and know that everything was okay between them again. When she started for the living room again, he followed and he settled himself on the couch next to her. He waited for her to get settled before draping an arm around her. After she ate, he was going to insist she go to bed, but considering he planned to join her, he didn’t really think she would object that much. |