recycledweasel (recycledweasel) wrote in notquitenaids, @ 2012-07-06 13:12:00 |
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Entry tags: | [university], recycledweasel, shesnotdeadyet |
[University] Past Affections
Itachi didn’t sleep well, but trying to sleep suddenly reminded him that he was awake. Awake. Itachi sat up and looked around himself. He could hear someone sleeping near him, and he recognized it as Hayate. Itachi crawled to his feet, for a moment thrown by the different weight of his body.
Itachi grabbed the master key from Hayate’s desk and headed out the door. The halls were dark this time of night. Itachi snuck down them without a sound, pushing hair back behind his ear as he went. He remembered the door to Shisui’s room. He smiled to himself.
Shisui. He had finally found Shisui. After all these years, he’d finally found him. Now, knowing his cousin was sick, he couldn’t just lay in bed and dream of things past, could he? Itachi opened the door with the master key to get in. He closed it softly behind him and snuck into the room, dropping the card on the bedside table before he leaned over and touched his fingers to Shisui’s cheek.
The feeling of warm flesh was delicious. Itachi shuddered, joy bubbling up as he sat down on the edge of the bed, fingers tracing his cousin’s warm cheek. He’d found Shisui. This was almost better than finding Sasuke.
Shisui awoke slowly, and didn’t really wake up. He stirred and opened his eyes, but they were caught in the foggy world of sleep. So when he felt fingers on his cheek, fingers of someone he knew, he just rolled over and hugged Itachi’s waist, and felt comforted by that.
Itachi chuckled, voice pitched lower than usual. He ran his hand over Shisui’s hair. “Miss me, love?”
“Yes. Always,” Itachi smelled the same, though it was a little more feminine. Shisui brought his hands up to hold onto Itachi’s side, and brought himself up that way. He had no shirt. Pushing his face into Itachi’s shoulder, he almost moaned. “Not afraid to admit it, either. Love you.”
“You never were, were you?” Itachi shifted and leaned down, lowering Shisui back into the bed. He looped at arm around Shisui’s back, just in case Shisui should be weak enough he’d lose his grip on Itachi.
Shisui didn’t think of himself as so sick, but he just wrapped his arms around Itachi’s back anyway. “Oh gods, Itachi, Itachi, kid...” He whispered fervently, refusing to let go. “Stay with me.”
“You’re sick. Of course I’m staying.” Itachi took a moment to ruffle the covers and let himself under. The nightgown he was wearing stopped at his knees, and he comfortably curled his legs into Shisui’s. He felt entirely hedonistic as he pulled Shisui to his side and curled into him. Body to body, heartbeat to heartbeat.
Shisui wasn’t even sure who he was at that moment, but he knew Itachi was important. So important. He covered Itachi and held him close with a skinny arm and leg over the other, and they were. Nuzzling Itachi once, Shisui yawned and felt like drifting off again.
Itachi rubbed Shisui’s back and started humming softly. He closed his eyes, reveling in his cousin being so close.So near.
“Sleep, love. I’ll keep watch,” Itachi whispered softly. He would keep Shisui safe this time.
This time, he wouldn’t allow anything to take his cousin from him.
~
Shisui didn’t expect to wake up next to anyone. She hadn’t in months. But even then, she was pleasantly surprised when she found the body next to her. Snuggling closer, she meant to poke them awake with her nose, but when she looked up...
Oh gods. It was Itachi. Shisui realized that she had no shirt on, but that didn't matter right now. What mattered was getting the FUCK away. Wrenching the covers over their heads, Shisui ducked back and then proceeded to fall out of bed.
Itachi had thought she was sleeping with Hayate. Curly hair and angles. Itachi started to open her eyes and Hayate started wiggling, then Itachi opened her eyes to see someone falling off the bed. Itachi shot up, realizing that she was not in her room.
Itachi shot away in the other direction tumbling off the bed in a rush and almost slamming into the door. She stared at Shisui and realized something.
One: Shisui wasn’t wearing any clothes. Two: Shisui was female with scars across her chest like a badge. Itachi pressed a shoulder into the door and stared.
Shisui opened her eyes, and realized that Itachi was staring at her. She was breathing strangely, because it hurt, hurt bad in the way that the cancer had before, and then she was clutching her chest, hiding it from view. That just let Itachi view her lower abdomen, which was red, puckered, and scaly.
Trying to cover that didn’t help, because she couldn’t touch it. It hurt. Her chest hurt. Shisui’s face flushed with shame and rage. “If--if you tell anyone, I’ll kill you,” She sat up. “Hear me? I’ll kill you--” Then she put her head down and bit her lip, because she wanted to sob. No point in letting Itachi see that, was there?
“You’re sick.” Not hungover or stoned. Sick, because Itachi thought she knew what those scars were from. She knew she was intruding. She knew she should leave. Shisui obviously didn’t want her around right now, but...
How was she just supposed to leave?
Itachi paused, then moved and grabbed a shirt for Shisui. If Shisui was female, it wasn’t such a big deal to see her undressed. Yes, it was invasive, rude, embarrassing, but it switched the entire dynamic around.
Itachi knelt down and reached out to put the blouse around Shisui’s shoulders.
“No shit,” Shisui hissed. Shut her eyes tight, and waited for Itachi to LEAVE. Instead of leaving, though, Itachi did that. Gave her a shirt.
Shisui shoved Itachi. Hard. Then recoiled because goddamn did it hurt to move like that. “Fuck you. Just because you find out I have cancer and I’m a fucking girl doesn’t mean I suddenly deserve pity. I am male. So go back to being pissed off at me and get the hell out.”
Itachi rocked back and sat down as Shisui pushed, hard. Her nightgown fluffed up around her hips, and she didn’t bother to care. She was shocked that Shisui would shove her. She blinked a little, overcome with the sudden urge to cry.
Cancer. So breast cancer, Itachi didn’t know any other kind that would cause a mastectomy--unless Shisui had gotten that one her--HIS own to fix his gender identity. “I thought you were stoned or drunk,” Itachi explained helplessly. She held the shirt in her hands, and she suddenly wanted to shake Shisui.
“That makes it all better,” Shisui told her, sniffing. Then he reached out and grabbed Itachi’s arm, trying to pull her to him, but he ended up closer. He knew he was crying like a girl in a chick-flick, but gods he didn’t care right now. “Why are you even in my room?” He moaned, and then bowed his head. It was touching Itachi’s arm. Why was his mood flipping out like this?
“It means you’re not a partying playboy,” Itachi countered. She lifted the shirt and managed to drape it around Shisui’s shoulders. That would help at least a little. It made Itachi feel better.
“I...don’t...I think I sleepwalked...” She had never ended up in someone’s bed before, but she had done some strange things in her sleep.
“...Were you...” No, that was stupid, right? Maybe? “...Jealous at the thought of me fucking around?” Not that she hadn’t before, but cancer just plain hurt too much. Shisui looked up at Itachi for a few seconds, before leaning his face into her shoulder. “Fuck it, you’re here now.”
“No.” Itachi’s cheeks heated, because she had been. Now...now she couldn’t be more pleased. She wanted to so something stupid with her pounding heart and tingling skin. Her hands pulled the shirt tighter around Shisui’s shoulder and wondered what this was.
Itachi leaned her cheek against Shisui’s curls.
She didn’t want to do this.
Shisui wanted to fall asleep there, but instead he drew back while rubbing at his eyes, and then glanced out the window. Sighed. “I have a noon class today. Up, up, and outa my room,” He poked her in the leg, then took the shirt--button down, thankfully--and slipped it on. There.
Don’t leave her like that. Be nice, say goodbye, give her a hug--
Shut up.
“Guess I’ll catch you later,” Shisui murmured as he pulled himself away.
“Maybe...” Itachi paused/She glanced at Shisui, swallowed, then stood. “Please take better care of yourself, okay?”
Shisui looked up at her. Smiled. “I’ll do it when I figure out how. Bye, Itachi.” He brushed her ankle as he scooted towards his toiletries, and decided to try to ingest a pain killer with a bowl of cereal. Next class was the history of theatre, so he would be able to hold still for a while. Not puke. Not be sick.
As if he could ever stop being sick.
Itachi paused at the door and glanced back at Shisui’s stick thin form. She pursed her lips, then silently walked out.