WHO: Nick and Alex (and possibly Calvin later on) WHAT: The actual talk WHEN: Thursday, March 24th, around 7:00 (backdated) WHERE: Cal's coffee shop (which I will totally come up with a clever name for eventually) RATING: PG-13 for mentions of sex? STATUS: Incomplete
Why don't you come right out and say it? Even if the words are prob'ly gonna hurt, I'd rather have the truth than something insincere. Why don't you come right out and say it,
Oddly enough, Alex had never been a big fan of talking about her feelings. Granted, she wore her heart on her sleeve most of the time (much as she tried not to), so it was likely that even strangers could read her feelings on her face whether she wanted to talk about them or not. It was, she'd always assumed, a trait that she'd picked up from her brothers (and perhaps from her father as well). Given the strong presence of male influences in her life, it was only natural - Alex thought - that her behavior would sometimes mimic a male's more closely than a female's. Sure, she still felt that she and Nick really should talk about the status of their... what ever the hell it was. It was a friendship, certainly, but how many friendships started with what you assumed was going to be a one-night stand? It wasn't exactly a relationship either (and Alex wouldn't have called it that anyway; it was too loaded of a term), but it wasn't really a friends-with-benefits thing. Ugh. Labels were so confusing. And as much as she kind of wanted to label the... whatever it was, if only so she had something to call it, but at the same time, labeling it meant making some kind of commitment, and that thought was beyond scary. Even if it wasn't a commitment to see Nick exclusively, trying to stick a name on this... thing would mean that she'd have to pick a reaction and stay with it. And maybe it was Alex's power's influence on her, but she much preferred fluidity.
Granted, there were some times when commitment could be a good thing. As guy-like as she could pretend she was, she still wanted stability deep down. But... the biggest issue was that she didn't want that stability from Nick. (Or at least she didn't think she did. Sometimes there were be thoughts in her head that were just...) She couldn't anyway, could she? Nick was a great guy. He was sweet and considerate and he made her laugh, even when she thought she couldn't. And Alex really liked him. Actually, she liked him a lot (yet another scary notion). But... however much she liked him was irrelevant. At the end of the day, his biggest flaw (even his only flaw, as far as Alex was concerned) was the fact that he wasn't Dominic. And she had to tell him that. She had to. Jumping him on Monday night had been... amazing, but it hadn't made it the right thing to do. Not in the slightest. The "getting it out of their system" idea had really just been a flimsy excuse to slice through the sexual tension that had been building over the past few weeks, and as fun and physically fulfilling as it had been... it couldn't last. And, Alex had realized in the sobering light of day, it hadn't really served its purpose anyway. If anything, their little tryst had only made Alex want him more. That was the really terrifying part.
Alex sipped her tea (she'd steered clear of coffee, even though she was sure it would've calmed her nerves a little) with a jittery hand as she looked across the table at Nick. What do I even say?? She asked herself. And then, recalling the advice that her father had given her long ago when she was nervous about talking about something, she began with a joke. "So... you'll have to bear with me here. I am totally down with throwing myself in front of bullets, but this kind of thing scares the shit out of me." She managed a small smile. "But because I am totally brave person, I'll just... go ahead and say it. And you have to swear not to make fun of me for sounding like a middle school kid. But. I like you." She paused, deliberated for a painful moment and added, "Kind of a lot, actually." She was going to add the but that would inevitably come at the end of the statement, but she settled back in her chair instead, not brave enough to ruin the chance to hear his reaction to the statement.