carlos olivera (coliveira) wrote in notebookthreads, @ 2015-04-19 23:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! 30 points, ! closed, ! complete, alice, carlos olivera |
Who: Carlos Olivera coliveira & Alice projectalice
When: March 30, shortly after this
Where: 106A, Carlos and Elijah's apartment
What: Alice comes to visit Carlos, because reasons.
Rating: R
Warnings: Language and crazy survivors being sappy.
Status: Closed/Completed GDoc
Something was clearly wrong. Carlos didn’t have to see Alice to know that something was wrong. Just by the words she used Carlos knew that something had happened. What? He wasn’t quite sure of just yet, but he planned on finding out as soon as he possibly could if Alice would tell him what was going on.
Carlos wouldn’t push her for information, he never did, but he hoped that she would trust him enough to tell him. This place was strange, although it was a welcome change from the former situation that Carlos had found himself in. Sure they had survived everything that had been thrown at them thus far, but that was all that they had done; survive.
They were good at it, apparently, but still something wasn’t adding up. Alice had asked him what the last thing he remembered was, and well, that seemed to startle her. Carlos didn’t like it one little bit, but right now? He had had a shower, and made a pot of fresh coffee. It was as if he’d been dropped into a little piece of paradise, and honestly he didn’t care if they made it back or not.
The only thing that Carlos did wish for was more of their people. They needed them there, they needed a reprieve from the shit that they were currently dealing with. No one, not ever, should’ve had to deal with the shit they’d had to deal with for -- hell, how long had it been? Time blurred when one was going from day to day in a panic, doing nothing more than praying supplies would hold out, and that nothing like Nemesis would find and attack them.
Or worse yet, Umbrella.
The door was unlocked, and Carlos sat on his couch with a cup of coffee in his hand, one ankle placed on his knee. He cradled the warm mug in the palms of his hands, taking a ginger sip with a content sigh. He was on his second cup, already contemplating on grabbing a third when he was finished with this one. The only thing he needed now were smokes, but in his haste Carlos had forgotten about grabbing those.
Goddamn, it’d been weeks since the last time he’d had a cigarette, and far too fucking long since he’d had a fresh one. Living in a modern, civilized world sure did have its perks, and Carlos honestly hadn’t realized how much he’d missed until he had it back.
Carlos jerked his head to the side as he heard the doorknob turn, a bright smile pulled up the corners of his lips at the sight of Alice. “Make yourself at home, me casa es su casa.”
~*~
Umbrella knew every way to fuck up someone's mind. They knew every entry point, every button to press, every hidden door or drawer or crevice. It was their business to keep people guessing in regards to how much of what they saw was real versus how much was pure fabrication. Alice had learned the hard way not to trust what her eyes showed her. Looks truly could be deceiving.
She wasn't certain what she'd been expecting when she'd gone to Carlos. A STARS officer? A clean-cut husband from a suburban world which didn't exist? A man who had seen too much life yet died before getting a chance to live any of it worth a damn? They were all Carlos. All of them. He had been all of those men in some way or another.
All she saw as she looked at him was the healthy glow of his skin, his desert clothes, and his tired smile. Ruggedly handsome. That was what a real woman would call him. Alice wasn't certain what she was allowed to call him. In one of those lives they'd lived, she'd given him a daughter. In another, she'd given him only a few passionate kisses. What right did she have to offer him anything at all? What right did she have to take from him?
"I'm sorry I'm staring. It's been a long time since I've seen you like this. I have though. Seen you. Umbrella cloned you using cellular matter recovered from what was left of your body after our assault on their facility. We found Arcadia. It was a ship. The Arcadia. It was a trap. I saw you again after they'd taken me. Cloned me. We were everything to each other in their test environment. On one side, a husband and wife with a beautiful little girl. On the other side, enemies at odds as a law officer fighting the evil criminal. You looked good. Every time. You look better like this. Normal. I'm not anymore. Normal. I'm infected again. A one woman army. That's enough about me. That. Any of it. How do you feel? Here? How do you feel here?"
Alice hoped he felt happy. Peaceful was another emotion she'd find acceptable, but there was nothing like happiness and Carlos had gotten so little of it. Both of them had gotten so little of it. She had volunteered at least. He'd been forced. His joy taken from him by Umbrella's machinations. She hoped he could feel happiness again.
~*~
There was a tormented look in Alice’s eyes, one that Carlos had seen one too many times and he had hoped beyond hope that there would be a day when he wouldn’t have to see it.
Curiously he canted his head to the side, listening to her as she described things that he had no memory of. Of course, he wouldn’t have, he’d died apparently at some point before they’d reached Alaska.
Turning his head, Carlos looked down at his coffee, a thoughtful look upon his face. “I honestly don’t have any complaints. I have coffee, a fucking shower that works and at some point today or tomorrow? I’m going to go get some smokes that aren’t stale, and have a big ass slice of pepperoni pizza.” He turned his attention back to her, uncurling one hand from around his cup to pat the seat beside him.
“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I -- I can’t begin to imagine how it must have been.”
Really Carlos didn’t want to imagine himself fighting Alice. The marriage bit with a kid? Hell, that had been a pipe dream for when the world was a better place, if it ever got there again, but he’d honestly given up much hope for a normal world as long as Umbrella was still in control.
Carlos tried hard not to think about the fact that he’d been cloned, or any of the rest of it. There wasn’t anything he could do to change what happened, or what would happen, but he could focus on the here, the now and that was something he always did best.
“Do you want something to eat, to drink? I’ve actually got a pretty good stock of food and a fresh pot of coffee on. Hell, for that matter I think we could probably order a pizza and have it delivered if you’re in the mood.” He gave her a wide smile, trying desperately hard to lighten the mood and put her more at ease. She had to know she was dealing with the real him and not some copy.
“How are you settling in, Alice? Are you okay?” He asked after a few moments of silence, brows furrowing slightly over his eyes as he looked at her.
~*~
Everything he did was utterly, completely, perfectly human.
Carlos was gloriously human in a way Alice knew she would never be again. A tear slid down her cheek followed by another and another and another until she was crying without sound. She wrapped her arms around herself to keep from going over to him. There was nothing for him and her except heartache. If she went to him, she might as well shoot him herself.
He was always damned because of her. In every life Umbrella had tried him in, Carlos had found his match in Alice and she had been his undoing every time. This place had to have brought them together to see what they would do, what she would do. It wasn't a simulation run by Umbrella. She was certain of it now. Umbrella was never so subtle in its cruelty. That corporation liked seeing its symbol on everything too much.
"I don't think I'm ever going to be okay again. There is no okay for me. What I am? It's a sickness. You never live when you have me around you. I make your life worse. I'm a curse. I'm the T-Virus in the flesh. I shouldn't have come here."
Why couldn't she leave?
Alice had always enjoyed thinking of herself as strong. She'd been strong for so long. Why had she said all of that to Carlos? Did she want him to suffer with her? To know what they never got? To know how it turned out without him? She hadn't become so cruel herself. Alice knew she had gotten hard. She'd had to grow harder, stronger, more violent in order to survive in their world, but she wouldn't allow herself to become cruel enough to enjoy seeing a friend suffer along with her.
All she had managed to do back home had been slow the spread of the virus. She'd saved so few; they had all lost so many. Carlos was only one of the long, long, long list of names Alice had lost in the battle against Umbrella Corp's bioweapon. There never seemed to be any way to end the death since the only way to stop the dead was killing and lives were lost in every battle.
No war was won without casualties.
Had Wesker said that? Something like it perhaps. Alice gave a nearly hysterical laugh as she wiped at her face and shook her head to the negative. She would not break now. After all she had lived through? This place would not break her.
~*~
“Whoa, whoa.” Carlos leaned forward from his seat, and sat the cup of coffee down on the table. He’d seen Alice cry before, hell, they’d all cried at some point during their time together, but this? This was different.
Standing, Carlos walked over to where Alice stood hugging herself. It killed him to see her like this, hurting on the verge of possibly breaking. She was made of strong stuff, but everyone had their limits.
Placing his hands on her shoulders, Carlos shook his head. “That’s not true. If it wasn’t for you? I wouldn’t have survived as long as I did.” The bite mark on his arm was still there, sure it’d healed and the scar had faded but it was still there. Had Carlos not met Alice when he did? He would’ve turned within a few more hours.
That was a plain and simple truth.
“Don’t forget who gave me the vaccine. None of you had any reason to save me, but you did. And you? You are no monster, Alice. You have more humanity than any of those fucks at Umbrella.” He wrapped her up in his arms, hugging her tightly to him. Carlos knew her strength, but he didn’t worry about being shoved away. Well, a small part of him worried, but he wanted Alice to know that he was there for her, and that he always would be.
“They’re not here. For now? We’re safe, we’ll be okay and we will survive. I won’t go down without a fight.” It was a promise, he wouldn’t die on her without fighting tooth and nail. “Who knows? We might be able to find a bit of peace here.” Leaning back, he looked down at her, although he didn’t remove his arms from around her. “Focus on the good, the now, that’s what we need to do.”
~*~
No one could change the future. Alice knew that in a way no one else hopefully ever would. She couldn't go back in time to stop Carlos from being bitten a second time. She couldn't make a vaccine which would work more than once. There were no resources available to her to ensure he never returned to that day, to that truck, to the point in time when he drove ahead on a suicide mission to ensure the rest of their convoy made it through.
She couldn't even go back to warn them all there would be safety at Arcadia because there was no Arcadia.
Even if she could, Alice wasn't certain she would have done something like that. Taking away the chance of Arcadia? Removing the last shot at peace from a band of already worn out travelers? It wasn't fair. It was cruel on a level Alice hoped she'd never become no matter what the T-Virus did to her body or her cells or her mind.
Hesitantly, she managed to return the hug, holding onto Carlos as tightly as she dared. She wouldn't hurt him. She could choose. She could manage her strength and choose her battles. No one would force her to hurt someone else again. Carlos was a strong man. He wouldn't break. He'd tell her if she was hurting him.
"I want to take advantage of this place. Peace. As much of it as we can have. We got----one kiss. I want to get it all this time, Carlos. I want to take a long shower with you. I want to fight over space at the sink in the morning. I want to sleep in the same bed with you and actually sleep in that bed. I want to fuck you so good you forget you've ever had sex before. I want it all. I don't want to let up for a minute. I don't want to waste even a single second. Who knows how long this will last? Am I crazy? Too much?"
They hadn't even dated. It wasn't as if their relationship had been more than two people trying to survive together in a world where survival was the key to the secret of life, the universe, and everything. Did Carlos even know anything about her? Did he know her favorite color? The scars on her body? The way she'd gotten them all? How many bodies she'd piled up on her way to survive?
"I'm sorry. I sound insane. I'll calm down."
Alice stepped back from Carlos, gently breaking free of his embrace. It was hard to do, but she managed. It was for his sake as much as her own. Neither of them needed her to become a clingy psycho.
~*~
All of that sounded like a fantastic plan to Carlos. He was about to voice his opinion about her plan when Alice stepped out of his arms. Slowly he dropped them down to his sides, and shook his head.
“You want the full truth here? I like the sound of your insane plan.” He lifted a shoulder, lips curved up into a smile. “I think it’s actually the best plan that you’ve ever had.” That was the simple truth of the matter as far as he was concerned. They didn’t have to worry about fighting for their lives, and they could just live.
All of the other little details would come later. Carlos knew deep down in his heart that Alice was the best thing that could ever happen to him, and that he loved her. Carlos wasn’t willing to share that just yet. She was too worked up, too scared for him to admit those sort of feelings. In time he would tell her, but for now, he figured something simple would be his best course of action.
“Today, why don’t we take it easy though? I was being dead serious about pizza. I can’t remember the last time I had a hot meal.” It’d been before they were on the road constantly, moving from one place to another in order just to make it through the day.
Still, there was one thing he wanted more than pizza, something he should’ve done when she first walked through the door but he’d been so distracted by everything else he hadn’t had a chance to do it yet.
Slowly he reached forward, cupping her cheek in his hand and turned her face to look up at him. “Don’t worry. We’re going to make the best of every single last day we have here. No matter what this place might throw at us, who arrives here, I will do everything in my power to stay by your side.” Leaning forward, Carlos pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss to seal that promise. He wouldn’t let her down again, or at least, he’d try not to.
~*~
A simple, chaste kiss was almost enough to send Alice to her knees. She trembled before hardening her stance. It was hard to pull back from Carlos, but she had done it before. She could do it again. They had no idea how long this would last. They had no idea who was watching or if they were being watched or if they were truly alone or even if this was real. For all she knew, she was in a rejuvenation pod being healed back to fighting status once more for the sake of Umbrella.
Carlos was enough Carlos for Alice to suddenly not care.
At all.
Things would come as they would come. She'd have to take it one day at a time, maybe even one hour at a time, but she would be able to handle this place the same she'd handled every other test Umbrella had sent her way. It would work if she let it. The illusion of it all? The pretty picture this place painted? Alice could make it her own if she chose to allow herself to do so.
"I feel honored to be asked on such a fancy date. Sure. Pizza. And us. I can stay here? I will stay here," she corrected herself, "It'll be a hardship for you, but I'm pretty sure you'll survive it. Especially if that pizza comes with extra cheese."
She grinned as if they were joking every day. It felt strange. Smiling. Grinning. Her eyes were still stinging from unshed tears; Alice couldn't remember the last time she'd been truly, thoroughly happy, but she would be here. She'd allow herself to be happy here. She deserved it. Carlos deserved it. This would be what it would be and she would make it work for them.
It was the only choice either of them could make with any sense of certainty.