Relief fell across his features, his shoulders relaxing away the tension that seemed to always be there. That memory counted for something, and Steve wanted it to count for everything. Without Bucky Barnes, he wasn't sure if he could be Steve Rogers. He could be Captain America, could put on the uniform and follow orders, complete missions and ensure the safety of his team, but he floundered as Steve. There was no Steve Rogers without Bucky Barnes. The world just didn't work that way.
It was a surprise to see Bucky pull out the brochure from the Smithsonian. Steve'd had no idea he'd even been, but then he'd been laid up in the hospital for a bit after the fight on the Insight ship. The depreciating way Bucky talked about himself hurt Steve physically, like a blow to the gut. He was stunned, speechless, and it wasn't until Bucky turned his back on him that Steve acted.
He closed the distance between them and reached for Bucky's shoulder. "I do need you," Steve admitted, the words choking him. "I've always needed you, always. That's never gonna change." It was so hard not to bury his face in Bucky's neck, to wrap his arms around his waist and hold on for dear life. Steve wasn't so sure the man in front of him would appreciate that, so he kept just his hand on his flesh and blood shoulder. "I'm not that skinny, sick kid from Brooklyn anymore, but I still need you. I don't know how to be me without you, Buck. You and me, til the end of the line."
It wasn't the end yet, was it? Steve wasn't ready to be done, wasn't ready to give up or let go.
"Ever since I woke up, there's been this- this piece missing. I thought..." He'd thought it was Peggy, but seeing her in the nursing home had relieved him of that guilt. She'd lived her life and loved, had a beautiful family. She'd moved on and Steve could admit that, while he did love her, he hadn't loved her as much as his ma had loved his pa. That kind of love was what he wanted. "I made peace losing everyone else; Dum Dum, Monty, Morita, Frenchie, even Peggy. I couldn't make peace with losing you. A world without you in it isn't one I want to be in, you hear?" He squeezed Bucky's shoulder for emphasis.
"I want to help you, owed or not. More'n that, don't ever think for a second I don't need you. Cause I do." And the hard truth of it was, he'd rather be frozen for another seventy years if he couldn't have Bucky by his side.