He remembered him. Steve. He remembered how Steve worked, looked, talked, breathed. His favorite sound had been the rattle of Steve Roger's breath in his thin chest; it had meant Steve was alive. All he'd cared about was Steve living another day, one more day, he'd never been strong enough to ask for more.
God had not been his friend. Steve had lived the faith. He'd believed. Everything above him had come from above for Steve, but James Barnes had died in spite of all his wife's prayers. His son had fallen from a train to be forgotten as if he were so much trash.
God hadn't found Bucky.
HYDRA had found him.
"It counts."
His mind turned back years instantly. He was in a uniform. It fit well. There was a certainty to his steps as he'd walked beside Steve. Neither of them had minded the difference in their height. Other people had looked, but no one had dared to say anything since he'd never, ever tolerated anyone saying anything to him where Steve was concerned.
Steve had been the one who'd mattered. No one else had been anyone to him in the same way Steve was---even his own siblings. They hadn't needed him. He'd been Bucky, never James, and none of them had even been able to look at him unless he was with a dame. The way he'd stayed with Steve hadn't been right to them. His siblings. His mother understood, but she was caring. She cared about Steve, too.
Pulling the brochure out, he skimmed it again, "You crashed soon after me. I read it. Here. In the brochure. You know they got a display dedicated to that guy I used to be? He was a war hero. I'm a one man war machine. Think when I die for good they'll put up a different display? One with the bad guys? I think that's where I'll be. Not with you. I already had my time with you."
What did he want with him? He didn't want to start a fight. He didn't want to hurt him. What did Steve Rogers want with him? He didn't need him anymore. He didn't need anyone. He was Captain America.
"You don't need me anymore. That's why we were together. Before. You needed me. No one else did. Just you. Now, you don't. I don't know who if anyone needs me from here on out. I know this place? Picked me. Maybe because you're here. Maybe not. I do know you don't need me now. You have no reason to be sorry for anything. You don't have to help me with anything. You paid your debt in full, Captain. All your debts. You don't owe anyone anything. You especially don't owe me."
He folded the brochure to put it back into his pocket, turning around to start walking around the base of the mall again.