Lot thought on it. Mustang was special in as much as she made him feel peace and she was the only woman he'd been screwing since she'd shown up not to mention they were now fucking exclusively though she'd ensured he understood that she was free to roam where and when she pleased that the only thing that was changing was that she wasn't taking on other Johns.
But may he'd talked her up too much. Perhaps for her it really was just a power play. He wasn't nearly as violent as any of the other men who traded for her body, he was nice to her and they talked as much as they screwed. She may have suggested they be with one another only but that didn't mean she meant it romantically.
Even though he was trying to ease the weight within him he knew that on a level it was superficial. He wasn't ready to be the worshipful man his mad guilt was begging him to be. Maybe when he calmed down he would realise that it was silly to seek an all or nothing response. He had to be realistic, was he going to be sacrificing his soul for her? Or was he simply going to have to forgive himself?
"I don't think I'm sacrificing my soul for this woman," he said, "I don't think it's as all or nothing as that,"