Lot blinked slowly and rubbed his eyes as if tired, "I killed my wife," he whispered surprised he could even say the words after all this time. He had thought them over and over but hadn't ever said them out loud, not even during the trial, "It was an accident a stupid accident it wasn't-" he gulped, "It wasn't- it was an accident," he repeated, "And I served time for it, everyday for five years I woke up and spent my days surrounded by men who had done far worse things than I and who continued to do so," he briefly glanced at Priest, "I have nothing, I allow myself to have nothing, but now I find myself presented with opportunity for something and I cannot let go. I fear that I am not allowed to let go that I shouldn't feel for this person what I felt for my wife,"
He clasped his hands afraid the man would see them shaking. He wished they'd been in the confessional box. Saying this to someone out in the open was so exposing, like standing naked in front of a stranger and asking them to judge you as harshly as possible.