WHO: July and Shannon WHEN: December 1, evening WHERE: July's dorm WHAT: July got a little scared after Halloween and has been punishing herself by avoiding Shannon. RATING: Not even gonna attempt a guess.
Ever since Halloween night, when she and Shannon had experienced something intensely intimate together, July had felt a familiar fear and panic settle in. She hadn't realized when it happened exactly, or how she had missed it so completely, but she now knew that she was falling head over heels for the endlessly optimistic and laid-back actor. Feelings had never been her forte, and trust had been an area where she had even less competency even before Eli had broken her heart and betrayed her so spectacularly. There were too many people growing up who ostracized her family due to her mother's dalliance with an "evil being", and they were nearly dirt poor to add insult to injury. She had never really cared about the latter, though it had affected how she saw herself and her worth when paired with how people had always treated her. July was not a sweet girl, she was not an obedient or proper or beautiful girl that mothers liked to brag about their sons being with. She was rude, she was foul-tempered, and she was definitely a problem when compared to all the pretty perfect princesses. So she just assumed that was how she always would be seen.
Until she wasn't.
Not only had Eli, who had known her for her entire life, seen something more in her, but it appeared Shannon did too. Only for him, it was real. For him, it wasn't something to exploit, like a game he was playing to keep their parents happy. And when she thought about that night after the corn maze....July realized how in danger she was. The feelings for Shannon were different than she'd had for her ex, better in every way and more intense to boot. That meant that it would destroy her completely if he ever betrayed her in the same way, and she honestly didn't know if she could take it. She acted tough and invulnerable, but July was actually far from it. On top of this fear and insecurity, she'd finally figured out who Shannon's father was, and the enormity of that fame and celebrity was almost as intimidating as her feelings alone. She was a poor girl from Tennessee who had a bad temper and had just managed to gain an iota of recognition for her music. There was no way she could compete with Playboy Bunnies and the lavish glamorous lifestyle he had grown up in, IN ADDITION to his own movie star status.
In light of these insecurities, July had been avoiding him ever since. The most mature reaction, naturally, and clearly the most logical choice. Not to mention the right choice, seeing as how she was completely fine and not at all entirely miserable. She had barely left her dorm, class being occasionally the only thing to get her out, and so it was tonight. July didn't have any fear of company, so she wasn't in any way dressed for it. She had given Shannon the customary one-word answer to one text, though had steadfastly ignored the ones that had followed it. Knowing she was being an asshole twisted her heart with guilt, but she didn't know what else to do. Or what she would do if he eventually gave up....