Re: Lourdes & Trevor | Early Evening - Day Two
It was almost too easy to slip back into the version of her that was numb to the world. Numb to the pain she caused others and caused herself. The version that didn't give a shit what happened to her. It was the only way she could do this. The only way she could push every button she knew Trevor Landon had in an attempt to push him past his stubborn determination to love her. She ignored the way her stomach clenched with guilt at every word she said and the way it twisted with regret at every look he gave her.
"or what?" she asked him recently as he told her to watch her mouth. Again, she knew it would piss him off. Just like it would piss him off that she acted like everyone knew this shit about drugs no one else they knew used. She knew it wasn't common knowledge but acting like it was a sure fire way to dig at him.
Lourdes was braced for him to call it quits and toss her out right then and there when he rounded on her again. He had no hold on his temper and she knew it was his temper that was going to override his stubborness to get him to actually break up with her. What she wasnt expecting was for him to actually push for more infomration. It took effort for her too kepp her face emotionless as he yelled at her. She had to resist the urge to back pedal, to try to de-escalate his anger. She wanted his arms back around her. But she also knew how not possible that was. It was clear as he demanded to know what else she was hiding that even after this whole game thing, everything would not go back to the way it was.
"My ex," she answered simply, there wasn't much change to her tone. It was matter of fact like it was perfectly logical. But in all their conversation Lourdes had never owned actually dating someone before. Her lists consisted of FWBs and fuck buddies, not significant others. Even not there was a part of her that violently protested at using those words to describe Jonna. Jareth had been appalled at the fact that she thought of him as her ex-boyfriend instead of her rapist. She was still struggling with the distinction in her head. It didn't matter now though. She knew ex would be far more provoking for Trevor.
"And I was 14. My 14th birthday to be exact" she corrected. Sure she and Jonna had used other things together before her 14th birthday but the heroin started then.