But that guilt... you're the one feeling it, hanging onto it. This might've felt like the same, been the same, but that was a one-off. That was this place. It's fucking with us, all of us, and in the shittiest ways it can.
Sam loves you. I love you. So do Nat and a lot of others. We don't blame you.
Go talk to him. He probably needs it as bad as you do.