ǫᴜᴇᴇɴ ᴇʟsᴀ (icicles) wrote in noexits, @ 2022-05-17 06:29:00 |
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Now, Elsa definitely wasn’t stupid - she had a well-rounded education, boasted plenty of book smarts, and was a lot more world-savvy than her sister despite having grown up in isolation until the day of her coronation. She knew how to win a chess game in only a few moves, having practiced quite a bit with her royal tutors - and she could speak multiple languages (elvish, anyone?); her ballroom dance moves were top-notch, graceful in the way a panther rolled its shoulders before a hunt, and if there were needlepoint championships she’d no doubt take the prize in those. But she also had an insatiable sweet tooth, and that cupcake which appeared by her bed on the morning of a reset was far too irresistible to bother turning down - it smelled like the finest confection, sugar and vanilla pumped straight from the doors of a bakery, and she’d consumed it quickly. Far too quickly. Regret seeped in a moment later, even if she physically felt fine. She was anxious, however. About the cupcake and also about last week - it hadn’t been bad, per se, but she was worried Orlin might have hated it. Or, more specifically, hated being married to her - they were progressing nicely in their relationship but she wasn’t sure they were at the point where marriage was the next natural step. What if he decided that he didn’t even want it at all, that he didn’t want to continue what they had so there would be no chance of ever reaching that point regardless? The whole prospect made her queasy and got her wringing her hands - so she headed straight for the clinic on the first day of their Void week, still wearing the outfit she reset in. It was that powder blue dress, one that looked like a wintry sky, composed of ice crystals that defied gravity and natural forces and were all magic - her shoes sparkled too, and her hair fell over her shoulder in its pale blonde braid. She arrived looking regal but also nervous, and she stepped into the clinic after knocking politely on the door. “Orlin? Are you here?” This was fine. It would be fine. They would be fine - she knew that. No matter what happened, she had to know that. Orlin hadn’t been thinking when he saw the cupcake. He just ate it. And he loved it. He even licked the frosting off his fingers afterward. It wasn’t until he saw the potion that he wondered if what he’d eaten had been safe. He sat in bed for a long while waiting to see if his body had any sort of reaction to the sweet dessert. It didn’t. At least nothing he noticed. But he definitely had his suspicions. And he couldn’t account for that rare need to eat the cupcake without thought. He wasn’t usually known for being impulsive like that. And he wondered if it might have had something to do with the peculiarities of last week. Last week had been very confusing for Orlin and he still wasn’t certain if he felt comforted by the other life he’d lived in Empire City. It had seemed so natural at the time. And yet very unnatural as well. The only logical thing to do, however, was to move forward. To reflect on everything that happened—particularly with regards to his personal relationships—and continue to do what he did best. Help others. In any way he could. Which was how he found himself in the clinic early that morning, studying the potion that had been sitting on his bedside table. The only problem? He was so tired. Abnormally tired. As though he’d just run a marathon at top speed followed by an extremely difficult scientific examination that required numerous calculations. His mind and body were spent. And he had to stand up at his desk just to prevent himself from inadvertently nodding off in his microscope. In fact, he was so tired he almost didn’t hear Elsa approach. His reaction was delayed. But when he did see her he gave her an encouraging smile. Because Orlin was always glad to see Arendelle’s queen. “Yes, yes!” He waved a hand from the back room which he had set up as a kind of laboratory for himself and Baymax. “I’m in here!” Elsa breathed a sigh of relief, hand to her abdomen to try to quell the butterflies that felt like her entire stomach was a churning cement mixer - felt like there was cement in here, actually, a whole block of it; she was surprised she didn’t just vomit the cupcake up and maybe she should have, considering many alarm bells were clanging inwardly about how that had been a bad idea. Oh, well. There was no turning back - only moving forward. Even if she grew very tired of Derleth’s games - last week had been a nice break, however. A nice little piece of an existence she wished she could have, but it seemed like it wasn’t in the cards since they hadn’t stayed. Much to her disappointment. That life of living on the outskirts of the city, a simple cottage with just the two of them and morning coffee and affectionate goodbyes before commuting into work on the train - something that had started out one way but ended up another. She wanted that. She wanted it for its entirely different trajectory than being Queen. “Hello,” she greeted, sliding right up to him and planting a delicate kiss on his cheek, bopping up on her toes to do so. He looked so exhausted, as if the puppetmaster pulling the strings to his limbs was about to give out - that was very peculiar. Also didn’t account for what she said next. “You look very refreshed. I’m not worried at all. Everything’s fine.” Right, yes, naturally. What? Orlin had liked the routine of the previous week as well. That was something he missed about serving in Starfleet. In Starfleet he had a purpose. He woke up, worked his shifts, met his friends in the cantine, exercised in the holodeck, and served his duty to the Federation. It was rewarding. It was sometimes surprising. But it was also a known entity. He felt like he had meaning there. He was still struggling to find meaning in Derleth. But last week—last week gave him a glimpse into a life he’d never anticipated for himself. Something he’d never imagined. A home. A career. The start of a family with someone who cared about him. It lacked the tense adventure of traveling in space, but it had still been exciting. And it gave him the feeling of purpose. Now he was back in Derleth and he had to contend with the fact that the world of the previous week was gone. But maybe that’s how it should have been. Life wasn’t supposed to be easy, after all. It wasn’t supposed to fix itself with a snap of the fingers. He straightened his posture instinctively when Elsa entered the room. Always polite and courteous was dear Orlin. And when she kissed his cheek he blushed red, those alien freckles of his deepening in color. “I do?” Orlin quirked a brow. How odd that he should look refreshed when he felt like a disaster. He could barely focus his eyes. “Well, thank you. It’s funny, actually. I feel like I didn’t get any sleep last night. Maybe it’s some leftover exposure from last week. I did work a lot of hours at the clinic in Empire City.” He smiled. “You look absolutely ravishing, of course. You always do.” “I don’t recall you working very much at all,” Elsa replied, her brow furrowing. But that wasn’t accurate because - she did recall Orlin working quite a bit? They both had. Elsa held a seat on a council that oversaw magical issues and it all felt very prestigious, very important - yet not to the degree where everything was a burden upon her own shoulders. It was more balanced. Shared. She was happy. For the first time in awhile, truly happy - also with a purpose, and with a few close friends she’d let in, plus she’d been in love. That’s what it was - no sense in denying it to herself; she knew it and felt it and it had been everything she could possibly dream of, even sweeter than this cupcake she’d just consumed (which filled her with dread, and being in love definitely didn’t have that effect). Blinking rapidly, she tried to change course. “Yes, I suppose I always do - look ravishing, that is. You should feel very lucky to be able to picture me without clothes on, which, by the way - I definitely hope you’re not doing that,” she rambled, and was she panicking slightly? She was panicking. That was a weird thing to say. “I worked almost every day. Don’t you remember? Maybe it just seemed like I wasn’t working a lot because you were working later than me on some of those evenings and I was home before you.” That sounded odd. Being home before her. It had been a home. Their home. It was so surreal that it almost felt like it couldn’t be true. But it had been. Orlin stifled a yawn in the crook of his elbow. He was about to return to his potion study, maybe even explain to Elsa what he was working on, when she blurted out the most absurd and shocking thing he’d ever heard. Well, almost ever heard. At least, for Orlin it was odd. Especially considering the newness of their relationship and the truth he’d shared with her about his— Yeah, that. “What?” He blinked a few times. And then of course that was the only thing he could think of and his entire face flushed an embarrassed shade of red. “I would never—I mean, yes, of course. You are very attractive and I have no doubt that you are just as stunning under your … But I don’t do that! That is, what I mean to say is, I’m not always imagining what you … I really have no idea what you look like without—” Deep breaths, Orlin. Deep breaths. Divert the conversation. He cleared his throat with a cough. “I’ve been performing a molecular scan on the potion from my room. It hasn’t turned up anything really interesting yet, but it did peak some unexpected results on the tricorder and…” He looked back over at Elsa. Oh heavens, he couldn’t stop picturing her naked. He shook his head. “I really need to get more sleep.” Gods. They had been married in Empire City, or their other selves had been (it was honestly so confusing - every ‘life’ Elsa had lived was beginning to make her brain feel like a pot of mushy oatmeal, set to leak out her ears) and had clearly been...intimate. It was something she was interested in exploring in the present but certainly not in this manner, by going the route of ‘say silly things until you just occupy my mouth with something else, Orlin.’ Actually, that might not even be a bad idea. “Who needs sleep? You don’t need sleep. It’s not important,” she said with such conviction, despite the wide-eyed deer in headlights oh no expression on her face. Everything was so contradictory and she hated feeling as if she couldn’t control her own brain-to-mouth filter - it was all spiraling out of control, into a vortex. “So - I’m sure what you found on the tricorder was not interesting at all and I don’t want to help. That’s not why I came here - didn’t want to kiss you either.” She grabbed the front of his shirt, determined to just stop herself. Thus, she smashed her lips against his, probably causing a nuclear meltdown in his brain but sorry, she was so sorry, and had a lot to apologize for later. Elsa wasn’t acting at all like herself. It worried Orlin. Had he done something wrong last week? Had he upset her? Unintentionally insulted her? Had he been a bad husband? He thought they were happy. He thought they had a lovely relationship. His memory of it had been so clear. He believed it, just as he believed their history here in Derleth. Had she not felt the same? Had he missed that? The more she spoke, the more he frowned. He could see that her eyes didn’t match the tone in her voice or the words she said, but he still couldn’t help but feel hurt. And, if he were quite honest, he would have managed to survive her admitting that she didn’t want to kiss him. But to say that his work wasn’t interesting? To insinuate that what he was doing wasn’t important? That’s what really hurt Orlin. Because Elsa’s interest in his work was one of the things that had drawn him to her in the first place. You bore her. You’re not interesting. You’re beneath her. This isn’t a surprise. She’s a queen. Get over it. Plenty of fish in the sea! It was Curzon’s voice he heard. And then it was Ezri’s. It’s okay. Relationships don’t always last. You’ll find your person. Give it time. Followed by Jadzia. Just get a drink. Go to the gym. Hit something! You’ll feel better afterwards. Then Elsa kissed him. And Orlin felt guilty for his response. He didn’t want to kiss her. Not like this. He pulled away from her. “Stop. Why are you acting like this? Why are you being so cruel?” The last thing she ever wanted was to be cruel - not to anyone, but especially not to Orlin. Tears filled her eyes because she was being manipulated and she didn’t know how to convey to him that none of this was what she actually wanted - so she just started crying, even more so when he pulled away from her, the tears starting to roll faster down her cheeks which were bright red; that red traveled up the back of her neck and reached her ears too, burning with shame. “I didn’t eat the cupcake!” she blurted out, in between dainty sobs because Elsa was nothing if not a dignified crier. But give it a few minutes and she might be an ugly crier after all, because she felt as if she could fall in a dramatic fashion and scream and punch the hard surface - That’s when her emotions really started going out of control. Ice began to form on the floor, a patch beneath her feet that spread outward, frosting the vicinity with a hard glittering sparkle - she barely managed to stop it before it covered the entirety of the equipment but the floor was an ice rink and it was snowing too, the temperature dropping rapidly as flakes began to drift. It was a snowstorm that rolled in with the force of a lion in the springtime and she just began panicking harder, backing up, stumbling into a table which suddenly became a block of ice too as soon as she made contact. Of course, all of this just terrified her more - it had been a very long time since she hadn’t been in control of her emotions. Her magic. What if she hurt him? The way she did Anna? Every step she took toward the door, the ice became thicker and thicker. But she had to leave. “Please, Orlin, I didn’t eat the cupcake,” she gasped, turning and running out the door because maybe she was cruel. Maybe she was a monster after all and everyone was right - these were the thoughts running through her head when she moved to put space between them, fleeing into the green. As she passed Dexter Hall, the snow drifts formed quickly, popping up and covering the ground and leaving a sea of cushiony white behind. Then, a tower of ice shot up into the void sky, pillars that formed, a structure that would cover her and spikes as a figurative KEEP AWAY sign out front. And she huddled inside, cheek resting on her knees. Why was she screaming about the cupcake? That was what distracted Orlin from the hurt in his chest. Was this heartache? It felt like heartache. It felt like a fresh part of his world was imploding. But Elsa’s responses were so erratic. So opposite from how she normally acted. And the moment she began crying, Orlin knew something was wrong. “Elsa, please. Just stop for a moment. I don’t know what’s wrong, but perhaps you should let me examine you. Let me get my tricorder and—” But then the floor began to turn to ice. Orlin tried to reach out for her but he slipped, just barely catching his balance on the counter. The ice crept up the shelves, heading towards the potion. He didn’t know if that small dose of liquid had anything to do with what was going on with Elsa, but if it froze then it might change the mixture in more ways than form. He couldn’t let her destroy it. It might have answers. Thankfully, however, Elsa started to back away. Snow fell from the ceiling and Orlin turned to look at her. His brows were pinched together, lips downturned in sadness. And the look on her face? That expression of terror and self loathing? It would have brought tears to his own eyes were it not so cold in the room that his lashes began to freeze over. Then she bolted. “Elsa! Wait!” Orlin tried to run after her, but he slipped and fell to the ground. The back of his head burned in dull pain after cracking on the ice. He looked up at the ceiling, thinking how much he wanted to get up and chase after her. But now that he was lying down… … He was so tired. If he just closed his eyes for a little bit. Just a few minutes. That would be enough. That would ease his weariness. Then he’d go help Elsa. After he got a little rest. Just a little nap. |