In this reality Loki can sense Julia's true potential. He's been appearing to her in dreams as a goddess, offering her guidance for his own ends. Julia being Julia, has plans of her own. It's
tricky.
⚠Nada.
Julia could not quite remember what she’d been doing while awake. It had not been during anything important, Julia thought. She had to think about her schedule. She did not have a job, nor did she end up going to grad school, dropping out of Derleth Law days after she was rejected from a much more interesting school dedicated to magic.
“What time is it?” Julia asked idly. If it was night, then the worst that could happen is Julia might be passed out over her laptop in the middle of research. More than once she’d woken up in the back of an ambulance after passing out dramatically in public during the day. She wore a medical alert bracelet, but it rarely seemed to help on those occasions.
She did not expect Idunn to answer her, and Julia’s face brightened when she saw the goddess that occasionally visited her in dream. Who wouldn’t be infatuated?
There was a time Julia was convinced these dreams weren’t real. At least, the doctors and specialists had convinced her. They started when she was a teenager after the attack on Empire City. But after everything she’d been through, the hedgewitch began to believe they meant something, that they were more than a traumatic coping mechanism.
She could remember Idunn’s face. She could remember the feeling the dreams gave her. But their conversations were always the first thing to fade from her memory. In the last year or so, the dreams sometimes turned explicit, and those were easier details to remember. Not helpful, but certainly not unwelcome.
Idunn had always been the easy choice for Loki’s dreamland disguise. It was a role she’d played before, both on Asgard and among the other realms. Midgard, of course, because that was her favorite playground. Granted, the game had grown a little more tedious since her capture and subsequent banishment from the place she called home. But Loki was unperturbed. She knew her time would come. And while it had been years since her last nearly successful escape, she hadn’t lost her tricks. She was still the Goddess of Mischief, even if she had grown more docile in her cage. Acclimatized, but not tamed. Although she had no doubt the DSS hoped to one day manipulate her to their side. What a feat that would be, after all! To have a god on their team. A real one. Not like these superpowered mortals who flew around pretending to be more than what they were.
They may have been powerful, but they didn’t have that spark.
Now, Julia, on the other hand . . .
Finding her had been a gift. It gave Loki something to do. Something to look forward to. Something to shape and form and build to her desires. And the best part? Loki didn’t have to go anywhere. She hardly had to do anything. And it was a delightfully amusing relationship that she absolutely took advantage of. If Julia was lucky, Loki visited her in her sleep during normal hours. But Loki was in a place where daylight didn’t factor. And so she sometimes forgot to take into account normal human waking hours.
There wasn’t much to do in prison besides nap and mock the guards, you see. And after this many years, Loki was well versed at both.
The dreams always began in a blur. Hazy, indistinct features of the background. Loki herself was always clear, because she had a very distinct image of herself in her mind. Today her hair was down. Long and black, draping over her shoulders like a glossy curtain. Idunn was blonde, but most mortals never noticed the distinction. She wore the Vanir’s colors though. A slinky light blue dress that hung over her shoulders, revealing the cutting line of her clavicle. A thigh-high slit up the side, gold belt, and a tiara that seemed a little too dainty for her personality. Very traditional in the mythologic sense. Normally Loki would have despised the colors, but she knew Julia liked this attire. And she wanted to be desirable. She wanted the hedgewitch’s attention and focus. Then maybe it would be easier for her to pinpoint that spark she knew Julia had locked inside of her.
The one she’d been trying to activate for years.
“Julia! How I’ve missed you. It feels like it’s been ages. Let me look at you!”
It always took a few minutes for Julia’s mind to bring things into focus. As long as Loki didn’t direct the dream otherwise, Julia’s subconscious filled the dream in with details of her life. Which meant over the years, Loki gathered up everything about her. The well to do home she grew up in during her school years, her freshman college dorm and early apartments, her current apartment on the Upper West Side courtesy of a generous trust fund, her favorite spots in Central Park, the various seedy safe houses she’d spent much of her time in now as a hedgewitch.
Today, however, they were back on a college campus, blanketed in fog. There were vague outlines of buildings, but Julia’s memories of the place while impressive were still difficult to make out. The school had tried to take her memories of magic, of the school’s existence, of the insane test she hadn’t passed.
The school hadn’t come up in months, but every once in a while, it popped up again. Julia frowned at it thoughtfully, before turning her face and smiling at the goddess.
When she’d been hung up on the school, what it represented, what she missed, she’d always worn the heavy coat and scarf she’d worn the day of the test, as if agonizing over every detail, trying to discover what she’d done wrong.
In this dream she wore black. Street clothes at first, the kind of thing hedges wore, having traded pointy hats for leather jackets and boots. Then the clothing shifted again, still black, but a simpler style of the dress Idunn wore. Instead of a crown, Julia had tiny flowers in her hair, as if she were Idunn’s maid, her attendant. Her feet were bare.
Julia still wondered what might have been, or the campus wouldn’t have shown up at all. Eventually, it would stop haunting her. She had something those students didn’t. Julia had Idunn.
Or more accurately, Idunn had her.
“Whenever I see you, it feels like I’ve always been here,” Julia said.
Loki was always cautious about not directing the dream too much. She tried to keep her changes subtle, more influential on the conversation than the setting. Although she had on occasion given Julia a glimpse into Asgard as a means of establishing her story. The garden on the east side of the Hall of Valhalla was one of the more prominent locations she used. Because that’s where Idunn’s tree was. The tree with the golden apples.
But today Loki let Julia set the scene. It saved her the trouble of expending too much energy. And it also made it less likely for Loki to make a mistake. Not that a little slip-up would harm her plan. After this many years the bond was already established. And she knew much of the dreams were forgotten in the waking world.
“If you were always here then my days would fly by. Sometimes it can be quite tedious living out one’s life among the pomp and circumstance of divinity. And the gods are all bores, if you know what I mean.” Loki winked, but not salaciously. She was teasing Julia, but there was also a ring of truth to her words. Loki did prefer Julia’s company to many of the gods and goddesses she’d left on Asgard. Which was one of the reasons she was so keen to find that little button. The one that would jumpstart Julia’s true self.
The other reason was power. But that went without saying.
“Perhaps one day I’ll enjoy the pleasure of having you here all the time. I’ve always felt that your gifts were wasted on Midgard. Even this place…” Loki turned around, motioning to the dim formation of buildings that represented the college. “It failed to see your true potential. I would never turn you away like that.”
She threw an arm up in the air as though to brush the thought away. “But we won’t think about them. They aren’t worth our thoughts or our time.”
She stepped closer to Julia. It was a purposeful movement. Languid and flowing. Not predatorial. Not like Loki. Idunn was graceful and smooth. Every movement just as important as the next. Time around her seemed endless. Eternal. But that made sense. She was the goddess of immortality. Or, at least, that’s who she pretended to be.
“Have you made any new progress in your abilities lately? Anything exciting or unexpected?”
Julia slid her hand into the goddess’s, lacing their fingers together. They’d likely had, though Julia couldn’t say how many, multiple versions of a conversation that went like if Julia had gotten into the school, perhaps she could have learned more about where the gods went-- the ones not trapped on Earth-- the ones that didn’t lead an army of aliens through midtown about a decade ago. It did little else but frustrate the witch.
Julia had to find her way to Idunn. Even if Idunn had told her the way, the probability of Julia remembering any of the details was unlikely. Like the spellwork Idunn had attempted to teach Julia, nothing ever came of it. Not when Julia woke missing half or more of what she needed to recall to make any shared magic actually work.
Besides. This was sort of her quest in a way. Julia had to find the way herself, to make her worthy. (Maybe with the help of her current safehouse? Seemed like a risk. Those first safehouses, Julia learned long ago not to trust anyone, at least anyone human. …At least anyone not Idunn.)
“I feel like I’m missing something. Like learning new spells isn’t even the point anymore. Like there’s something bigger out there that I’m supposed to find.”
She frowned thoughtfully. Her fingers gave Idunn’s a squeeze.
“Besides the obvious,” Julia said, smiling at Idunn. She even blushed just slightly. After a beat she said, “I met a vampire. The lore he gave me checked out, and it’s like if I knew the right question to ask him…”
Julia didn’t know why he’d been so willing to trade knowledge for blood. Blood didn’t seem particularly rare or special. Little did she know that her blood, just as a magic user alone, was more valuable to Carver’s kind than she realized.
Loki had been trying for years to bridge that gap between Julia’s dream memories and her waking state. She didn’t know what the problem was. She assumed it had something to do with Julia’s magic. Did she have a barrier in her mind? Or was it a problem of belief? No, Loki didn’t think so. She was fairly certain that Julia was completely convinced of her existence. Loki was confident that if Julia could find her in the waking world then she would. But why Julia failed to remember all of the instructions to Loki’s spells when she awoke, that was something Loki couldn’t quite discern. Her best theory was that something or someone, probably on the outside, was preventing Julia from attaining her true potential.
And Loki’s powers to assist were limited as long as she was trapped in that lightless prison cell in one of the DSS’s facilities. Just as they were limited by her banishment from Asgard.
But Loki could be patient. Time, after all, was no issue for her. For Julia, however—Well, Loki would remain optimistic.
“Learning spells is merely the beginning,” Loki said, entwining her fingers into Julia’s. In the dream, as in reality, her skin was soft and smooth. Any hints of age disguised beneath the youthfulness of immortality. “Think of spells as merely a juncture between one stage and the next. Eventually you will discover your true power. But until then it doesn’t hurt to have a diverse repertoire. And you may find that one of those spells puts you on the path you’ve been searching for. The one where we can finally be together on the same plane of existence.”
Loki gave her a supportive smile. The kind the real Idunn might have offered. Although, if Loki were being honest, she’d always found the true Idunn to be something of a snob. Always going on about her hair and her apples. Not nearly as proactive in the lives of humanity as she could have been. Which also made her somewhat tedious in Loki’s mind. But also easy to impersonate.
Her expression changed, however, when Julia brought up vampires. The softness fell from her face, replaced by worry and irritation.
“A vampire?” Well, she didn’t like that. She didn’t like that at all. Vampires were problematic. “You must be careful around those kinds of creatures, darling. They can be incredibly dangerous.”
Was that actual concern in Loki’s voice? Or was she merely worried about losing her favorite pet? “What lore was he trying to sell you?”
Julia’s smile in response to Idunn’s concern was mischievous. She was never as careful as she should have been, and the excitement of learning something new always took precedence over her own personal safety. (Like the time she created invisible fire and burned herself. Oops.)
“I’m careful,” Julia said, though the way her eyes lit up did not make that statement convincing. The buildings of the school slowly started to fade into the fog behind them, leaving only the field they were standing in, and a gentle mist Julia couldn’t quite feel on her skin, despite how hard her imagination tried to convince her. “He wasn’t trying to sell me anything. I found him and offered the trade.” Julia took both of Idunn’s hands and brought each of them up to her lips, as if Julia could flirt away the goddess’s concern. “And it’s for something I’ve been working on.”
After kissing the tops of Idunn’s knuckles, Julia slipped her hands on Julia’s shoulders so that she had an excuse to step in closer and wrap her arms around her waist.
Julia knew Idunn knew that Julia mostly attempting to distract the goddess and change the subject between them. It was more or less a matter of if Idunn would let Julia get away with it. Julia beamed with feigned innocence.
Julia said she was careful, but Loki didn’t believe it for a second. Why? Because she saw too much of herself in Julia. And Loki wouldn’t trust herself any further than—well, Loki had a decent throw. So, she simply wouldn’t trust herself period.
“Vampires are devious and easily swayed by hunger. And your blood is far too precious to be giving it away to false immortals. It’s too important. Nevermind the fact that once you let a vampire into your vein they almost never leave you alone.” Loki rolled her eyes. Not quite as demure and poetic as Idunn would have been, but c’est la vie. It wasn’t as though there was much chance of the real Idunn stopping by to disrobe Loki’s glamour. Besides, she wouldn’t dare. The risk of getting trapped in the Midgardian plane was too high, what with the banishment and all.
She did like the way Julia tried to distract her though. Loki’s gaze flittered to the side, lips tugging together into a knowing smile. But there was amusement to that look as well. Because she did love the attention. And she had built quite a rapport with Julia over these years. The fascination definitely went two ways.
When Julia kissed her fingers that mist became a little more tactile against the skin. Loki’s subconscious contribution to the atmosphere. A cool, damp trickle of air upon flesh. And then they were close, entwined within each other’s arms.
“I know what you’re doing,” Loki whispered, mere centimeters from Julia’s face. Normally the height difference would have been too much for that kind of intimacy, but Loki compensated in this form. She was still taller, of course, but not as tall as the body that lay asleep in that underground prison cell. Also, this was a dream. Everything including height was surreal. “You’re very good at it. But it’ll take more than sultry glances to sway me.”
Loki drew her fingers through Julia’s hair. “Tell me what you’re working on.”
Challenge accepted. Julia leaned in, her tone low and secretive. “What I’m working on?” she whispered.
Part of her would have liked to pick up more vampire lore from the goddess, but Julia knew it was unlikely she would remember any of it. She kissed the side of Idunn’s face, her jawline and neck, before nibbling on her ear.
It was playful, but there was a sincerity too that was part worship and part love. Or at least Julia told herself it was. It didn’t stop her from having relationships in the waking world. She’d “loved” James, but that hadn’t stopped her from whatever this was in dream, and she hadn’t gone after said serious, longtime boyfriend when her first safehouse took away his memories of her.
Maybe Julia didn’t know how to love. Or she got confused whenever someone lined up perfectly with her already existing ambitions.
“Finding you,” she answered.
What greater magical ambition or knowledge could there be than to find where the gods had sealed themselves away? If Julia discovered that, surely she’d discover other magic, maybe new magic, unlike anything ever practiced on Earth.
“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to be doing?”
Love was complicated. Even trapped in a prison of glass, Loki wasn’t immune to those complications. And they weren’t just the ones she had in her head. In her dreams with Julia. They were also in the problematic relationship she had with the man on the other side of the window. And being so isolated from closeness and physical touch made emotions all the more difficult to discern. Was it love? Was it affection? Was it a power play? Or was it merely a craving to be touched?
At least the dreams could give her some semblance of the latter. It wasn’t real in the physical sense, but the mind could be manipulated. Sometimes, Loki could close her eyes and believe that Julia’s touch was her actual touch. That the fingers on her skin and the breath on her lips was more than just unconscious imagination. If Loki didn’t focus too hard then she could almost convince herself that it was real. And, on a particularly convincing night, she would wake up in a warm sweat, her nerves still tingling from whatever act of love she and Julia had shared.
But Loki would never deny that she, too, shared that confusion. Although, very few people were as ambitious as she was. Which might have explained why she found Julia so appealing.
Birds of a feather.
Loki sighed a playful moan when Julia’s mouth traveled the sharp stretch of her jaw to her ear. It was times like this that she was tempted to change the rules of the game. To uncover one layer of her deception. To show Julia the other side of herself. To admit to being the Goddess of Mischief as opposed to the Goddess of Immortality and Apple Cores. Just to see what she would do.
Would Julia be angry? Would she be terrified? Hurt? Sad? Or would she be pleased? Would she be even more attracted to her? Would she be in love?
“Oh, finding me isn’t that difficult. I’m never quite as far away from you as you might think. But we will meet one day. I promise you that. And when we do it will be…” Loki smirked. “...glorious.”
Loki placed her hands on either side of Julia’s face and held her still long enough to kiss her lips. It was a slow, taunting kiss. The kind meant to linger long afterwards. “But for now I want you to find that part of yourself that’s hiding. You’ll need that power to get to me and to survive in my world.”
Julia had no objection to returning the kiss, but frowned afterward. How could she find the part of herself that was hiding without Idunn? How could she find Idunn without the part of her that was apparently hidden?
What was it, even? Some new kind of magic? Something else? Maybe she’d asked Idunn before, and maybe Idunn had even told her, but how could it not be frustrating? She wanted answers.
It was hard to keep Julia distracted when her mind raced. The kiss had been perfect, it was Julia who so often missed the forest for the trees.
There were gods on the material plane. Other gods that had not vanished from Eaarth, having a fraction of their former power. Most of them were hidden or unknown. But… There was one god that had made his presence known, who’s current location was more or less known-ish.
Julia just needed to remember this dream. Or enough of it. She smiled for Idunn, her eyes softened as though she hadn’t been thinking things through just then and of course the only thing on her mind was the beautiful woman in front of her.
“I will,” she said.
Julia was just going to find a shortcut. Named Loki.