PRIVATE.
To get the stone, we had to go to a planet called Vormir. There, we met some weird floaty guy on a really high mountain who told us that to get the stone, you have to lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange. A soul for a soul. We sat around for hours trying to figure out if he was telling the truth, then what we were going to do. If we didn't get it, everything was for nothing. I spent five years barely holding myself together. All of our family disappeared, Yelena. Melina, Alexei... you. Half the Avengers. All because we failed to stop Thanos the first time.
He wanted to do it, I wanted to do it — to spare the other. We ended up fighting. He shot an arrow that blasted me off my feet, then jumped. You know me and jumping after someone. I latched his belt with one of my ropes. He had my hand as hard as he could, but there's only so much you can do when someone is determined. He begged me not to, but I shoved off the side of the mountain. He lost his grip which is what I was hoping for.